Fortune Not Cookie by spotlight skullshines
June 22nd, 2006 3:50 PMfortune copy.jpg
first, i needed fortunes... fortunately, i live near china town in downtown oakland.
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this place wouldn't sell me just fortunes, as there was no price for such a strange request and the boss had left mid afternoon. my request had caused a bit of comotion ...
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as had my request to photograph the head lady, with my newly purchased bag of cookies (theyre so cheap, she'd been real nice)
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Tom's, which was in walking distance gave me the same line ... so i also bought a bag ... and in the comotion I again, tried to get a photograph
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... the seller, not wanting to be photographed themself, held the bag in front of another worker, who said something to him in chinese (something like: who the fuck is this kid playing games with us as we 60 year old ladies do factory labor) then she promptly walked out of the photo ...
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just as my fate seemed fortuneless ... the guy in this place said he would not sell fortunes to me ...
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but he would give em out for free (and he prints his own (and i said i'd advertise him on sf0 for being such a dope guy (and three sets of parenthesis is pushing it)))
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inspired by a completion of fortune not cookie,
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by Piratey Monkey in which a she placed fortunes in pages of books in the library, i dedided on a location, out of reverence
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OPL
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but my business is of a different nature
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weapons of fortune: duck tape, 100 or so paper fortunes, small wood handled hammer, empty toilet paper roll, double stick scotch tape
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a lotta paper, 50 or so peoples worth, by my judgement
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rolling it back in
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6 ... 7 .... 8...
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13 ... 14.... 15 ...
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25 ... 26 ... 27 ....
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35 ... 36 ... 37
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42 ... 43 ... 44 (shhhh ... somebody is pooping next to me)
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51 ... 52 ... 53 ...
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65 ... 67 ... 69
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78 ... 79 ... 80...
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94 ... 95 ... 96 ...
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looks like we're at the end of the roll!
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and one three fortune tug handle for our first lucky contestant ... now dont flush your future down the drain ... (or wipe with it for that matter)
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wash the duck sticky off the seat and Im off....
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Good luck little toilet
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as a side note I do not like fortune cookies ... but i do like assigning rediculous missions to people i dont know!
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accross the street from the courthouse gym, between 29th and 30th on thelegraph ave (walking distance from mac arthur and 19th street barts) the mother load will be hanging from a green three story long vertical "flowers" sign, starting 9:30 tonight (thursday june 22) ... the winner will not only enjoy 3.75 $ worth of cookies (a lot of cookies) but i will find a way to fork over 5 of my fortune noty cookie points to you .... (ps, you will need a knife on a stick or possibly ... an eight foot long pair of scissors)..... NOTE TO THE HUNTERS, I FELL 2 STORIES (RAN DOWN THE WALL TO BREAK MY FALL, ON SOME JACKIE CHAN SHIT) AND HAVENT EVEN A SCAR, BUT, YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT A BIT UNTIL I FIND A NEW LOCATION FOR THE COOKIES, AS IT IS NOT TOO HOT FOR ME TO USE THIS SPOT) Update..... next day set up : cookies at over eight feet high, dangling from a long string attached to a rooftop, near 10 o clock as planned last observation of strung up cookies: approximately 10:20 no more than 10 minutes later, i checked in ... nothing but a frayed string. ravenous and ferocious this monkey will be rewarded ... but not immediately. it will not cost me any points, but it will require some effort on my part. for her, it will be worth triple the original value she should expect an email one month two weeks three days and four hours from now concerning this thank you again, for adopting good fortune no matter how shattered and abandoned
29 vote(s)
- Oliver X
- r0ck c4ndy
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- mock piratey turtle
- Cunning Linguist
- Ian Kizu-Blair
- Maze Designer
- Burn Unit
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- Salty Pete
- Bex.
- Flitworth
- Heatherlynn
- [smedly]
- niallsb: Forevolution
- miss understanding
- Sundroplets
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- Crazy Child
- jackbenimble
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(none yet)16 comment(s)
i was that woman with the fortunes in books! and. you are a genius.
You did this creatively enough and did have a pretty good adventure completing the task, but no bonus points from me as half the fun is in making up your own fortunes.
damn. i had a plan in place to retrieve said cookies and everything....
in or around the same location ...
same cookies ...
same dangerous distance from concrete to fall from,
one bonus box of blue greul !!!!
good luck
shit, i showed up tonight with my bayonet. i saw you (i think it was you) in the window but no cookies to be found.
damn. i had a plan in place to retrieve said cookies and everything....
Should collaborate for the cookies. Which WILL be there tommorow night.
I took a bit of a spill (one story) and pulled one of the cables off the side of the flowers sign in question.
As I've elucidated in the last post ... there is a bonus gift for my making such a stupid bottm face of myself. ...
that is one container of Blue Greul!
It isnt delicious like the cookies, bu it could make for quite a mantle piece.
I hope you are up for it
as it will be up
(tommorow night)
for you.
peace
I bet whover took a shit next was super annoyed. Who would wipe their ass with that? I wonder if they scuffled to the neighboring stall.
Also, when someone was pooping next to you, it reminded me of that scene in Autin Powers where he was being strangled on the toilet and the person in the neighboring stall thought he was constipated.
10:02- mission acomplished.
equipment: duct tape, knife, 8 foot bamboo pole.
unfortunatley the blue gruel exploded when the knife-on-a-stick worked rather better than expected and the prize hurtled to earth.
n.b. : incidentally, blue gruel is not good for licking.
impressed i am!
determined to document the nabbing i was.
also, prepared for waiting,
yes
waiting, with a book.
set up : cookies at over eight feet high, dangling from a long string attached to a rooftop, near 10 o clock as planned
last observation of strung up cookies: approximately 10:20
no more than 10 minutes later,
i checked in ...
nothing but a frayed string.
ravenous and ferocious this monkey and platypus are.
5 points will be awarded for narratives of the nabbing.
no platypus. just a hungry monkey and her lovely mysterious assistant!
jesus!
thats my blue greul!
and it IS bad for licking!
you already seem to know it like i once did.
(sob)
fantastic solution to the providing a new space for this new task, task.
is your assistant also an sf0 combatant?
i plan to write the Daemon to see if i can actually forfeit 5 points from my score.
for now, i will simply award your gruel work, which is deserving in its own right.
also
simultaneous postings
nutty.
i have come to a conclusion about your point compensation.
(i hope this doesnt seem as though ive backed out of a deal.
me promise wasnt totally for certain possible in my mind, when i'd made it, and then,
once it was confirmend as a possibility, it seemed dull)
you will be rewarded ...
but not immediately.
it will not cost me any points, but it will
require some effort on my part.
for you, it will be worth triple the original value
(15 points).
expect an email
one month
two weeks
three days
and four hours
from now
concerning this
thank you again,
for adopting good fortune
no matter how shattered and abandoned
I wait with bated breath! Why did you duct tape the hammer down? What happened. This is such a good story already. I mourn my lack of votes to award you!