Fortune Not Cookie by Silent Mike, Leslie
February 2nd, 2009 12:15 PMThe draw of designing and leaving fortunes across The City of San Francisco was too powerful to resist. Leslie and I found the prospect of humorous fortunes a clever manner by which to brighten someone's day. We discussed the exact design of the fortunes through multiple Gmail Chat sessions during workday afternoons. We made plans to depart from the Berkeley BART and slyly deposit the fortunes throughout the day as we made our way to Corona Heights for another task. This was going to be an adventure, we determined. Excitement; a journey; a quest!
No area was safe from our mischief. BART was our first target; it proved easy to drop a small envelope in a crowded train. In retrospect, we would have looked very suspicious to anyone that spotted us. I envisioned having to explain myself to a law officer. "No, sir. There is no bomb or malicious intent, but merely a fortune about good things to come. Honest."
Once we exited BART at the Powell station, we made way for Westfield Mall and left two fortunes hidden in plain sight. We laughed, knowing the looks of confusion and - hopefully - amusement that would follow their discovery. Panda Express was an obvious mark, and doubled in providing freshly fried chicken. We embarked towards Nordstrom's, with Leslie leaving a comical note in the women's dressing room while I browsed aghast at $200 jeans. We then took the F-Market towards the Castro and climbed Corona Heights, leaving fortunes along the way in the subtlest of places. They were secured with rocks or wedged amongst materials so that even if they were not discovered that day, they would remain secure until a curious person stumbled by.
By the time we made our descent from the hill, the sun was beginning to set and we still had eight fortunes remaining. Our pace quickened, along with the placement of our portents. Bookstores, markets, and Starbucks, oh my! Upon reaching BART once more, we went our separate ways. Leslie returned to Berkeley with all of her fortunes spent, while I returned to Hayward, placing one last envelope on the ticket dispenser.
List of Fortunes
After several conversations through Google Chat, the exact number and nature of our fortunes were determined. Once this was accomplished, I set about the arduous task of creating them in Illustrator. It took ten minutes.
Fortunes & Their Containers
It was readily agreed that the fortunes themselves would be lost to the wind or mistaken for garbage without some sort of container. I assembled miniature envelopes with the aid of scratch paper and colored labels.
Berkeley BART
Today's glorious adventure began at the Ashby BART station in Berkeley. The train you see before you is the very one where the first fortune was deposited. 
Documenting the documentation
Sly as can be with his cell phone camera, Mike took a picture of the fortune we left behind. Slyer still, I took a picture of Mike taking a picture.
Fortune!
"Good things will come your way. Very rapidly. I hope they decide to stop." Leslie discreetly placed the fortune under her seat at BART. Once the train reached San Francisco, we quietly exited, though not before I managed to snap a cell phone photo.
Fortune!
"You will add 'in bed' to the end of this fortune." Our first destination was to acquire food. We traveled to Panda Express in the Westfield mall. After devouring our meals, we left a fortune in the likeliest of places.
The dressing room.
"A splurge today will bring you great happiness. Temporarily." Seemed fitting for a dressing room in Nordstrom. Alas, the Diane von Furstenberg dress pictured did not fit properly, or that fortune could have been my own!
Close up
A close up of the fortune-- it was tucked into the stool.
Fortune!
"Today will be a very good day. If not, your trust in fortunes will be forever shattered." While taking the F Market up towards Castro, I slipped this fortune on the edge of my seat. It spoke of one's trust in fortunes.
Fortune!
"Ifyay ouyay ancay eadray isthay, ouyay illway avehay ahay eatgray ayday." This one was discreetly hidden under a fence behind a playground located at the base of the Randall Museum. It was in Pig Latin.
The Fence
Leslie feigns surprise at discovering our fortune.
Fortune!
"If you meet someone who has the same name as you, you will have good luck. Unless your name is Jenny or Mike. Sorry, guys!" A crown of thorns marked our ascent of Corona Heights. We left a fortune for the brave about meeting someone with the same name.
Fortune!
While on Corona Heights, we left another fortune. "Good things come in threes," it said. "This is number one."
Metadocumentation
Mike, while at the highest point of Corona Heights, takes a picture of the clue we have left behind.
Fortune!
"What did you want this fortune to say?" While setting off towards Market, we left a questionable fortune on the Park 90 Degrees sign.
Fortune!
"There is a 1 in 365 chance of this working: Happy Birthday!" This was placed under a set of cherry tomatoes at the store across the street from my old elementary school, McKinley. It wished the finder a happy birthday.
Interesting.
We stopped in a quaint bookstore (which also sold book shelves, oddly enough). I discovered a book of poetry that was the perfect target for a particular fortune.
Fortune!
"Do not trust the man in red. He is a spy." This was placed in a book titled "Witness Protection."
Fortune!
"You will buy overpriced coffee. But it will taste really good." Leslie slyly dropped the fortune about overpriced coffee after purchasing a Starbucks beverage.
Fortune!
"There is no antidote. Lucky numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42." We traveled back to the Embarcadero BART station on the F Market. Once more, we left a fortune on a seat.
Fortune!
"You will meet a tall, dark, handsome man. He's married. Sorry." "I have one more fortune to place," Leslie told me. "But wherever shall I put it?" She then set it upon a concrete pillar at Spear and Market. We laughed.
Leslie's last fortune
"Today's lucky numbers are: 1D, 00001001, π, "Banana." Use them wisely. " Sitting between the woman in orange and the guy in black, is a fortune.
Fortune!
"There are things in this life that we will never understand. For everything else, there’s Mastercard." As we were departing for separate trains, Leslie shouted over the roar of the wind, "Leave the one about Mastercard at the BART ticket dispenser!" So I did.
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For the variety of places the fortunes were put. Also the fortunes themselves. Great completiton.
Ha! Great fortunes!