Mesophyllic Transallelopathiphobia >>>

As an angiosperm, I hold myself, my brothers, and sisters all in high regard. We have evolved alongside human beings for countless years. Sometimes you threw us to the trash-heap, and at other times you recognized our good taste. Once you considered us poison, while today we're on the silver screen, adored. We're world travelers, thriving on every continent... all in all a pretty good career.

Today, I can say that I'm 100% all-natural: the same genes that made up my forebears run through me. Even with all the haploids, the heterozygies, all that nonsense, we've survived and can still give you a damn good bruschetta. I've not yet heard one substantial complaint, as long as we're picked fresh.

That is, until recently, when all that we've done is no longer considered good enough. It seems you sapiens are getting a bit lazy. What's so hard about walking outside and picking off the vine, or going to the market when it's the right season? Do you really need to have us at your beck and call 365 days out of the year??

Some of you know what I'm talking about... there's a strong trend recently against us natural-types. Since gramma passed on, the times really have changed. Now they think we need to last longer, look redder, smell stronger, have different skin.... AAHHHH!!

Last time I went to my psychiatrist, he told me "This to me looks like a classic example of Transallelopathiphobia. You'd best get the proper medication and settle down with those nutrients you take in every morning."

Well, I don't care how many pills of Monsanto #74928 you want me to take, I'm just fine right now the way I am. Even if you think I'm deficient, I'll be happy.



[(inserted by The Mgmt)]