WE PROPOSE:
WHEREAS piratey monkey has recently returned to tasking,
BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED that all good and noble players shall conspire to restore her to glory.
BE IT HEREBY RESOLVED that all wise and benevolent players shall strive to instill befuddlement and wonder in total strangers.
WE PROPOSE to question kitchen appliances, for they are agents of evil, sent by the American government (six years in the future), whose purpose is to malign the good reputation of all San Franciscans. Any human found collaborating* with said kitchen appliances will immediately be taken into custody and released only upon thorough (and to-be-decided) determination of innocence.
SHOULD ANY TRACES of Brazil Nut or Three-toed South American Sloth be found on the machinery used for implementation of the aforementioned "action", a team of Rockettes must be caused to immediately appear, whose role it is to summarily kick the ass of the party of the first part, using Kabuki theater games.
BE IT HENCESOFORTH, in order to provide fresh lemons for all Heffeweisen in the city of San Francisco, provided by declaration of the Emperor Norton of these United States.
INCLUDED in this declaration, Emperor Norton of these Unitd States and protectorate of Mexico, requests that all citizens observe the worship of the Grand Old Hills of Saint Francis. The penalty for reference to San Francisco as "frisco" or " San Fran" must occur a fine of at least one pound of flesh slice from the stomach.
HENCESOFORTH, the parties of the first part, known hereafter as " The SF0 community", shall forfeit all personal freedoms to the party of the second part, henceforce referred to as "Loki" or "Yer Mom".
IF the party of the second part is unavailable, deceased, invalid, zombified, or eaten, the party of the first part keeps freedoms, but gives their left kidney to nearest convenience store.
UNLESS their left kidney is a citizen or legal resident of any sovereign nation, polity, or international body, in which case any bodily fluid may be substituted.
THE PURITY of said bodily fluids ("precious bodily fluids") shall be assessed on a tax base consisting of seven leagues unstoppale march, from a point to be determined by the estate of Stanley Kubrick, whose determinations regarding the potenty, purity, and value of the precious bodily fluids shall be final.
FAILURE TO PROVIDE PROOF OF PURITY WILL BE PUNISHED BY CATAPULT!
IT IS HEREBY DECLARED that, as citizens of this body politic, that no man shall speak ill of Armand Hammer until such time as all products bearing words phonetically identical to his own name and surname have disappeared form the ample shelves of the noble groceries of our territories.
* Collaboration on either SFO or other
**AND BY ALL MEANS, EVERYBODY MUST BE, AT THE VERY LEAST, KIND TO EVERYBODY ELSE.
Prepared by: mock piratey, Spidere, Tac Haberdash, Wyrdgrrl, Pamda Bhaer, Lank, Anna One, Bex, Bryce, Loki, Emphemerata, lowteck, swm, Lincoln


After the Exquisite Proposition was prepared at Prom, piratey and Spidere took it around the city, collecting signatures. People were generally unwilling, even after mention of Emperor Norton and being encouraged to contribute to the strangeness of the world and the city. At one point, they even tried asking statues for signatures. But they persevered, and eventually got the form filled.

Once that was done, the course was clear: the proposition had to go to city hall. We can only hope that they act, before it is too late.