Eddy's Manual
How to Mummify a Person or Aminal.

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Step One:

Although it would be great fun, mummifying a live person or animal could be detrimental and lead to high therapy bills. However, if you choose to perform this process on something with a pulse, attempt to gain their consent.



Step Two:

Give them a bath. Scrub em clean. Don't worry about rigor mortis, if you feel something break and are unsure of what to do, clean the rest of the body and come back to it later.



If you're feeling special, try using some salt from the dead sea to help with exfoliation.


Step Three:
Remove the brains of the dead with either a hook through the nose

Or simply saw off the head of the corpse and pull the brains out with your hands


Step Four:
Remove all internal organs. You may either store them, throw them away or use them to make a lovely stew.



A stone blade is recommended.



But dressing like this while carving the body open is optional.


Step Five:
Once the chest cavity has been emptied, it must be dried out.



Fill the cavity with some type of salt.

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Step Six:
Fill the cavity with packing materials to maintain shape.

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Step Seven:
Anoint with Oils. The more flamable the better!

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Step Eight:
Wrap it up.


Step Nine:
Congratulations!!! We did it! You may be asking yourself, what now? What should I do with my mummy?

You can place it in a corner of your home for the added decor.



Have it stand outside and charge tourist money to have their picture taken with it.



Donate it to a museum so that thousands of people will photograph it each day, destroying any chance it had of a peaceful afterlife.



Or my personal favorite - Mummy Dogs!! Like pigs in a blanket only better!