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Raymond Luxury Yacht
Level 1: 15 points
Alltime Score: 1209 points
Last Logged In: October 7th, 2009
TEAM: San Francisco Zero

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retired
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Find Your Evil Twin by Raymond Luxury Yacht

October 29th, 2006 1:23 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: It is a well-known fact that you (and everyone you know) are unremarkable. So unremarkable are you in appearance (and personality, intellect, etc.) that somewhere out there you have an evil twin. Hell, you might just be someone else's evil twin. So find him/her. Your life won't be complete without it.

This really came as a surprise to me. I found my evil twin hiding in my cold storage area in my pantry. He was inside a potato sack, hiding with some tubers that I was going to cook for dinner. He seemed quite cunning. Pretty quickly, I deduced that he was hiding in my home presumably plotting to slay me in my sleep and assume my identity.

I ate him to gain his power.

- smaller

Delicious with butter

Delicious with butter



2 vote(s)

5

anna one

 5

Fonne Tayne


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12 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by Britt ++ on October 30th, 2006 1:14 PM

> I ate him to gain his power.

Beware lest he metastasize and conquer you from the inside.

(no subject)
posted by Raymond Luxury Yacht on October 30th, 2006 3:12 PM

Perhaps I should swallow something to catch him. What is the natural predator of a potato evil twin? Is it me -- do I have to swallow myself? I hope not -- that's hard.

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on October 30th, 2006 5:37 PM

The Irish?

swallowing the irish
posted by Raymond Luxury Yacht on October 30th, 2006 6:22 PM

That's my heritage, hence the potato-eating, I guess. Still, I refuse to swallow a nationality to catch my evil twin. That would be wrong.

Right?

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on October 30th, 2006 7:34 PM

It's an endless battle between Tater and Irishman. I think if you were struck by lightning upon eating your twin, you'd know you'd won. But that might just be Scotts.

I'm not going to advise you to eat blight. Not only does blight beat potato, but blight beats Irishman, and if you're already in the U.S., I don't know where you're going to go.

(no subject)
posted by anna one on October 30th, 2006 8:06 PM

Lebia grandis apprears not only to be a potato-predator, but they also keep away those nasty Leptinotarsa decemlineata...

Eat beetles!

(no subject)
posted by Raymond Luxury Yacht on October 30th, 2006 11:18 PM

Alright. I'll eat beetles. With marmalade.

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on October 31st, 2006 9:14 PM

Or just marmalade, I think, fixes everything. Always.

Global Warming? Slap some marmalade on that ozone hole!

(no subject)
posted by anna one on November 1st, 2006 4:26 PM

I can feel a 'Space Balls' joke coming on here...

(no subject)
posted by Raymond Luxury Yacht on November 1st, 2006 4:46 PM

Perhaps I'm just dirty, but I my reaction was more of a "hot atmospheric action" one.

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on November 1st, 2006 6:53 PM

E-Coli?
Slide some marmalade in your spanakopita!

Racial Tension?
Marmalade will sweeten your disposition!

Writer's block?
Marmalade will give you the pithiness you desire!

(no subject)
posted by anna one on November 1st, 2006 6:55 PM

hot e-coli action?

guess what fixes it...