I've been eying this task since I registered for SF0 but I'd been unable to come up with an author whose style I could imitate well and would also be interesting. I finally figured it out, but it took me quite a while to do. Take a guess?

Warning: The poem below is somewhat morbid. Deal with it.

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An Alphabet of Optimism

A is for Abby, who worked as a cabby, 'til one day the brake pedal stuck
B is for Bobby, who helped the gun lobby, 'til hit by an oncoming truck

C is for Clara, whose friend said "I dare ya," she died but her friend lost the bet
D is for Dan, quite a likable man, 'til killed by his ravenous pet

E is for Erny, worked pushing a gurney, 'til one day the gurney pushed him
F is for Fred, quite thick in the head, who starved himself trying to get slim

G is for Gale, who drank too much ale, and soundly collapsed on the floor
H is for Harold, who was shotgun-barrel'd, on opening up his front door

I is for Iggy, who squealed like a piggy, when hit in the head with a brick
J is for Jackie, a government lackey, who met her fate with an ice pick

K is for Karen, whose house was so barren, she froze without water or heat
L is for Lenny, who hadn't a penny, and died all alone in the street

M is for Maddie, who worked as a caddy, 'til struck by an over-hit ball
N is for Norman, a restaurant doorman, who died of a cold in the fall

O is for Ole, an NHL goalie, drove cars but ran into a wall
P is for Peter, department-store greeter, fell off of a ledge at the mall

Q is for Quincy, who had this small thing see, loved playing at Russian roulette
R is Robby, an Edinburgh bobby, that last perp he just couldn't get

S is for Sally, who lived in the valley, and drank from a poisonous stream
T is for Tanner, a rich wedding planner, who died of a jilted wife's scheme

U is for Ulrich, who knew a cool card trick, but angered a violent man
V is for Violet, the queen of an islet, invaded and killed by Iran

W is for Wally, a man born in Raleigh, got killed by a gardening gnome
X is for Xena, who owned a marina, and drowned in a lake by her home

Y is for Yogi, a hunchback old fogy, who died still with cash in his hand
Z is Zara, from warm Santa Clara, who sadly got caught in quicksand