Human Chess by GYØ Neil, GYØ Daryl, GYØ Ben, Tøm, GYØ Kieran!, Adam, GYØ Brett, GYØ Jordan, GYØ James, GYØ Chris, Jason Hewett
October 25th, 2007 3:40 PMNOUGHTS AND CROSSES
We waited for a LONG time for people to come along and help - about three hours! But it's all worth it when there's a NOUGHTS AND CROSSES CHAMPIONSHIP going on!
So, it begins. The first of our cornucopia of games begins with a friendly noughts and crosses (tic-tac-toe).
Our competitors are Ben and Brett. Let the games begin!
Brett starts us off with a well placed cross in the centre of the field - how can Ben follow up that daring move?!
Oh my, he pulls it out of the bag! It's a circle in the bottom left corner... when he gets there, anyway.
Some skilled return by Brett leaves Ben in his dust!
Uh-oh! Has Ben finally overcome the unbeaten champion! We'll soon find out!
No! Brett missed the clear opening; that mistake could prove devastating!
YES! And there's a win for Ben in the tournament. Hurrah.
Join us next week for the updated coverage of the rock-paper-scissors finals.
CLUEDO (Clue to Americans)
After deep discussion for ideas for human chess, Chris (of the Rolfe variety) actually came up with a good idea. Knowing the rarity of the event we had to go ahead with it. First. we had to find where this would be held. Tom's house would have been best as it has plenty of rooms, but unfortunately we weren't allowed to host any type of murder mystery there. So after a week of uncertainty and cancellations from some, we got a final list of players.
Kieran as Miss Scarlet
Neil as Colonel Mustard
Ben as Mrs. White
Jason as Reverend Green
James as Mrs. Peacock
Tom as Professor Plum
Daryl as the Cop/Host/Camera man
and Chris as the one who dies (Dr. Black)
With all our players here, It's time to play.
The game gets off to a good start...
Until... CHEATERY!
He is discovered, and threatened. But we don't do anything about it.
But then the lights die
And they return to reveal...
But who could have done it?
Well nobody's going to confess at the moment... so let the investigation begin!
An array of propositions is put forward:
Mrs. White puts forward Plum with the pipe in the living room
Then, Peacock proposes Mustard in the shed with the dagger
Scarlet thinks it could be White in the kitchen with the candlestick
During the investigation Prof Plum went missing and was found to be doing something rather peculiar in the shed.
But finally after 12 propositions and Plum's 'Pipe-fixing' the mystery was solved!
It was Mustard with the pipe in the living room - we knew it all along.
As you can see Colonel Mustard was charged with murder and taken away by the undercover police officer who also happened to be the host. And the cameraman. And everything else.
MONOPOLY
Yarmouth, a place of chavs, chain stores and fast food galore. Where else better to showcase the monopolizing of England?The preparation
After deciding weeks in advance to complete Human Chess, we held a meeting (on Skype) to think up ideas for some epic-ness. The first epic idea was to have more than one game, the second was to finish off our compendium with the longest and most argument ridden game of all... Monopoly. And not just Monopoly, not just human sized Monopoly, oh no. TOWN SIZED!
So, first things first, Adam takes to PhotoImpact to create the new Great Yarmouth Monopoly board, missing Chance and Community Chest cards due to the sheer work involved in making them. This was then followed up by the Title Deed cards. Adam then maps out the spots that are featured on the board.
Then, the night before, Ben and Daryl's printers (which were exactly identidical) are worked heavily printing out each square in A4, for situation on the board the next day.
The Transportation, and Location
20th October, around 9:36 am
Tom: I wake up, check the clock and get up. It's 9:36, and I have another half hour till people begin to turn up. Or so I thought. I get downstairs, and go to check the post and catch a glimpse of Adam, camped out on my front door step. He'd been there for about 10 minutes, and had unsuccessfully attempted to wake me up with furious doorbell ringing and door knocking. He'd turned up early, not my fault! He was let in, and we began amassing cardboard for the task. After a lengthy period of hauling and a cunning idea by my sister, we had a suitcase full of cardboard, surrounded by more cardboard.
People then began turning up. Finally Brett arrived (last) and we were about to leave, when disaster struck! My parents arrived, and would not approve of the removal of their cardboard for creation of a large Monopoly board, so the door to the room full of cardboard was closed and obstructed and we helped unload the shopping. We then had to try and sneak the cardboard out of the house, and behind the front garden wall, which would shield it from view. We managed to get out the suitcase, and about two thirds of the remaining cardboard, and then we were chased away; luckily the room wasn't checked, so we got away.
Walking down the road with a lot of cardboard, no matter how many people, is awkward, so we ended up wearing the boxes, it's just easier. So, walking to the location was an amusing experience, with more than one funny look along the way.
We arrived at our location, a patch of grass in front of the deserted art college, all ready to start Monopolizing. It's a very public location, on a main road, and surrounded by residential and guest housing. We began getting observers from the guest houses almost immediately, which should have added a little interest into some holidays.
The creation
So, first things first, the board. After much discussion we decided to have the board larger, with space around the property pages stuck to them. We get to work, whilst Adam and Jordan are sent off to stock up on food and place the property cards.
Jordan returns with food, whilst Adam is continuing to place the property cards. He gets on with creating his costume piece, the boat! Meanwhile, the board is completed. Now for some extra pieces. People start creating player costumes, and upon finishing the boat, Jordan creates two dice. Tom picks out a box and makes Jail. He also creates the centerpiece of the board. Yes, we know it looks like a dildo.
Adam returns, and being tired decides to be the banker. We hand out the starting cash and we're ready to roll!
The playing pieces
Ben, The cannon
Brett, The hat
Daryl, The thimble
Jordan, The boat
Tom, The iron
And we're off!
After rolling the dice to decide who goes first, it's Brett to move. He takes a magnificent roll of the dice and moves.
To see how the game progressed, see the captions. The rules were as follows.
The rules
As standard Monopoly except:
- All Chance and Community Chest cards were properties
- You can improve on sites without a full set
- You miss a turn in jail
- Oh, and you have to go to the corresponding place to pick up your property card before you can charge rent.
Interesting happenings
Whilst setting up, a group of young kids said they were going to "Call the police on your littering"
Daryl's bike was supposed to be the preferred method of travel to pick up property cards, it broke on the first attempt at using it, meaning everyone was tired, and reluctant to buy many properties.
King's Road, of which there were two properties for (north and south) ended up having a fire later in the day, and was sealed off. We had to walk even further to get to places, and we got some odd looks from emergency service personnel.
Many cards had somehow disappeared, but to check, the buyer had to go anyway.
LOTS of people walked up and asked us what we were doing. However one group of people came up and said "OH you're playin' m'noply", to which Ben sarcastically replied that at least they weren't blind as well.
Some kid stayed and watched the action for quite a while.
Brett was the mafia, and charged people protection money.
Tom sued Jordan, after tripping over his piece of property on the board.
The case was thrown out of court.
The rules became completely irrelevant toward the end.
The outcome
So, Brett won. Bankrupting Jordan and Daryl.
Ben came second, bankrupting Tom.
The cleanup
Adam and Ben decided to cleanup the cardboard for their Anti-Villainy contribution.
We cleaned up, kept some momentos, and took some photos.
And we left our calling card, of course -
Help us!
We can has caption?
The beginning of it all
Tom with string
Board line one
The first line of the board
Board lines one and two
The board still being laid out
The board
This is the noughts and crosses board
Waiting
We were waiting for people to arrive ... and got bored
Brett approacheth
My sworn enemy!
Brett
Oh, look how EEEVIL.
Daryl
One of Brett's henchmen
O RLY car
Ya rly
Kieran
So... what... like... dude? What?
The faceoff
Ben versus Brett...
Shreevey
Shreevey looking manic
James
Shreevey and James (with added sexual tension)
Luke
The skater guy. We stole his bag
Group photo
Brett's move I
X in centre
Ben's move I
O in bottom left
Brett's move II
X in top left
Ben's move II
O in bottom right
Brett's move III
X in centre left
Ben's move III
Circle in bottom centre
The full board
Success!
(with a parcel tape line of success)
Ben - Mrs. White
Best costume ever
Neil - Colonel Mustard
Twiddly moustache and everything!
White and Plum
Jason - Reverend Green
We really went all out on these costumes
James - Mrs Peacock
... yes
Tom - Professor Plum
Tally ho, what what, my old man's a mushroom?
Colonel Mustard
... ignore the background
Colonel Mustard
Again, ignore the background
Kieran - Miss Scarlett
Looking sexy :P
Chris - Dr. Black
(the dead guy)
Daryl
Our wonderful host
Bedroom 1
One possible murder scene
Dining room
One possible murder scene
Bedroom 2
One possible murder scene
Living room
One possible murder scene
Bathroom
One possible murder scene
The 'pad'
One possible murder scene
The garden
One possible murder scene
So, the game begins
Playing Cluedo
More playing
More playing
CHEAT!
He's looking at the cards!
J'ACCUSE
He's a CHEAT! Get him!
He's cheating!
Let's get him.
Grrr....
He's a CHEAT
In fact...
Let's just leave him to suffer
...
He's DEAD!
But...
WHODUNNIT?
Our "front of the board game" shot
Suspect #1
Plum with the pipe in the living room
Suspect #2
Mustard in the shed with the dagger
Suspect #3
White in the kitchen with the candlestick
Suspect #4
Green in the bathroom with the revolver
Suspect #5
Scarlett in the first bedroom with the spanner
Suspect #6
Peacock in the living room with the pipe
Suspect #7
Mustard in the first bedroom with the spanner
Suspect #8
White in the first bedroom with the dagger
Suspect #9
Plum in the living room with the rope
Suspect #10
Green in the living room with the pipe
Suspect #11
White in the living room with the pipe
Suspect #12
Mustard in the living room with the pipe
Professor Plum
Tom
The host/police guy
Daryl
Mrs. Peacock
James
Reverend Green
Jason
Miss Scarlett
Kieran
Colonel Mustard
Neil
Mrs. White
Ben
Great Yarmouth
Get ready to be MONOPOLIZED.
Blue skies
... well, this lasted
Cloudy skies
See?
The board
This is an idealised view of the board.
Cards
The title deed cards hidden about Yarmouth
Map
The locations of the cards (some not pictured)
Before
Left to right: Adam, Brett, Jordan, Ben
Daryl
Because he wasn't in the group photo
Hidden
In a box, walking
We am the boxmen
Phear us.
Standing in boxes
Yes, it was the easiest way to transport them
Struggling
And the only person struggling is? Yep, the only one not wearing his box.
College
The college of Art and Design, now unused and dilapidated
Plain and simple
Our location before mayhem ensued
The board, stuck to a tree
SUPPLIES
Rations for the day. Didn't last.
Starting
We began to tape down the board
Ben
Ben taping down locations
Daryl
Hard at work, taping down locations
First row done, onto the second
A lot of creation work
All properties stuck down with parcel tape from Ben's draw and Staples.
Yellows
The yellow section of the board
Almost done
Laid out all the locations, just need to secure it all. "Go" on the right of picture
Work work work
Almost done
George Street, Co-op
Tom
In JAIL. Jail wasn't an option on our board unless 3 doubles occurred. Which was rare.
Err...
No idea.
Mr. Monopoly
Tom's rendition of Mr. Monopoly
Mr. Monopoly
And yes, we do realise he's carrying a dildo. Blame Tom.
Irish
The Irish ladies who came and enquired
More Irish
More Irish ladies
Board
The entirety of the board
Quite large
This was the entire board, with 2 dice in the centre, and jail in the background
Brett
THE OUTCAST.
Iron
The iron piece
Jordan
Making the dice
More dice creation
Tom with dice
Aaaand...
The first of the day's many. MANY. sexual references
The cannon
Ben in the cannon (two tubes for cannons) - more like a pillbox
Cannon vs Top Hat
Who will win?
Boat
Kirky in the S.S. Khaki
SS Khaki
Very tight in there
Cannon
For a quick drink
Cannon's-eye-view
Very restrictive viewing
Group photo
Left to right: Jordan (Ship), Daryl (Thimble), Tom (Iron), Ben (Cannon), Brett (Top Hat)
Tom
Iron boy following the proceedings
LET THE GAME BEGIN!
The first roll of the dice
Bike
Our only method of transport, BROKEN.
Cannon
Off into the streets of Yarmouth to find the first property
Iron
On the run
Deneside
Where is the ticket? You'll never find it.
FOUND IT
Very, very difficult to find
Deneside's property card
Removed
AGAIN
More hidden deeds
Hmm
Supposed to be in here. Alas, no
Town Hall quay
Where is the ticket?
!?!?!
WHERE?
Hidden at South Quay
Location of the property
Brett and Tom
Waiting
A purchase
Cannon
Finally cutting a hole in there for breathing space
Rations
Starting to deplete
Monopoly money
Damn, real money would've been awesome
Looking
Looking at the map for locations of the cards
In progress
Transaction!
Hell yeah, purchasing
Coffee
Daryl bought it when he bought McDonald's
The Guardian
Adam's paper
House building
The building company (later named Cockless Erection Co.)
Proof of ownership
More proof of ownership
The board
Looking... somewhat angular.
Temple Road's houses
Named SHIT, HOLE, DARYL'S and TITS - blame Jordan
Grouped
More people grouped up
Lots of mess
SS Khaki
Adam Smith's table
Market Analyst, Judge, Banker, Lawyer, Estate Agent... (tosser, homosexual, poor)
Random dude
Who watched us for ages
Daryl
Camouflaged
Judge
The defense clearly unhappy with the verdict. Iron boy tripped on some of the SS Khaki's land, and claimed compensation.
A pink SMART car
That Adam thought photo-worthy
Attack!
More group photos
Huzzah!
Theatre plain
COCK(LESS) PROPERTY CONSTRUCTION LTD
Thimble
Daryl as THE THIMBLE
How rude
More property ownage
South Quay
Became a hotel tourist destination, and we were unimpressed with his service, as there were *quote* wankstains on the bedsheets *unquote*
Clearly
A rubbish holiday complex
More hotels
Daryl was a megalomaniac
Ben staying the night
In the 2-star hotel
Regent Boulevard
... of broken dreams. Hahahahahahahahahaha. (Green Day reference lololololol) Ahem.
South Quay
Top hat
Brett in self-made hat
Iron man
(ahahaha)
SS Khaki
With Kirky on board
Cannon
The cannon on the way. The pink thing you see inside is Ben's nose
Attempts
To fix the bike
Loltom
Tired, after ONE journey.
Trio trouble
Thimble in jail
Random dude again
Disassembly
And so it ends
With Brett as the victor!
Tidying
Un-Villainy!
Lol
Remains here for centuries!
Group photo
And of course
Leaving the calling card
54 vote(s)
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(none yet)25 comment(s)
Holy Geez, this is intense. You guys officially rock.
fucking wicked. Us Londoners were gonna do this, but now we gotta go bigger (better, more bizzare) on yo' asses. way to set a bench mark fellas!
votes!
when I was in high school, four of my friends went for the guinness book of records entry for "worlds largest monopoly game." They researched the requirements to get official recognition and tried to cover all their bases (something about an affidavit from a government official, press coverage, etc). They played with golf carts on a thousand foot by thousand foot board in a pasture one of their dads owned. This is pre-cellphone-ubiquity so they used walkie talkies. To my knowledge, they succeeded in the requirements, but never got the recognition.
They did not use enlarged dice. Vote.
You guys are like SF0 geniuses. Child prodigies. I wish I had been as cool as you guys when I was your age.
Instead, I'm desperately trying to be cool now... Hmm...
One day we must task together. Great Yarmouth is what, three and a half hours by train?
I think i've been to London like twice before, both times by coach and that takes about 5 hours
Probably about that by train.
You've got a line into Norwich, then a line direct to GY.
...now that's one of the big diffs between England and America--all of Europe and America, really. You've been to London just a couple times. here's the directions from london to Great yarmouth. Where I come from (originally South Dakota) it's very common to measure distances by time (I got the bug from an early age, Charlie, see?) and everything was measured in minutes and hours as much as by miles. But the thing is, way out there we thought nothing of long trips. The distance from GY to LDN (sun is in the sky oh why oh why etc) is about the same distance from my sister's house in Dupree, SD to my parent's house. We drove that distance all the time. Sometimes we'd go up there on a Saturday morning and come home in the evening. Hell, the county Piedmont is in is the largest in the state, and 90% of that trip was in just the one county. When we lived six hours away, we made that trip almost as often (though we'd make a weekend of the visit back then). This rambling has a point, I'm sure. uh.
Oh, right. England is small.
For god's sake get out there, Fish. I like picturing the conversation... "where you goin?"
"yarmouth."
"what the hell for?"
"uh. to play an internet game with some teenagers?"
"um, no."
"but they're awesome teenagers!"
(damn straight)
Oh we have something planned to see glasnost out here in Yarmouth ;)
I believe Mr Fish here will be present.
Well Im in Wales at the moment as the GY0 guys know and it took me about 3hrs from London to Yarmouth. I was gonna meet charlie fish but that all fell through. Oh well.
We'd be happy to come and have you guys here and maybe we could enjoy a giant game of Cluedo? Non?
Though both times we did stop at service stations. And once someone went missing which meant everyone had to wait on the coach while they were found.
I don't know why we couldn't help look it took bloody 40mins to find that person!
Darkaardvark just made Ben the Crossdressing Senator.
That thought scares me.
I love it when this gets a vote, thanks for making my day Harry!
I am unbanned as of about half an hour ago.
My network has already died twice, and the music I'm listening to from wmp is skipping like I'm listening to it in a ford cortina driving over the recent dover cliff slide.
It's good to be back.
I can't believe I just saw this. Both in the sense that I am sad I didn't know about this before, and that I literally cannot believe the amount of fabulous before my eyes.
* Harry Lee
* Sparrows Fall
* Julian Muffinbot
* La Scarlatta
You guys just made my week, double-senatorship.
We (and by we, I mean me, Lank and Minch) were playing Clue tonight, and I had to pull up your photos for moral support. I was Miss Scarlet. Lank was Prof. Plum. Minch was Mrs. Peacock. (FYI.)
You kids are nuts! Love it!