The Low Score Task by FZ!
November 6th, 2007 12:41 PMA picture of me with the Sutro Tower, from my viewpoint, was only accomplished with the assistance of Google Maps, tape, and divine intervention.
The process is documented below, along with the widest-angle, longest-distance shot of Sutro Tower to grace SF0.
Distance to Sutro
My position (marked in the first pic by Speck) is approximately 2800 miles away from Sutro Tower, as the crow drives.
Crows are some of the worst drivers of the avian kingdom. And they constantly keep their blinkers on. I think they just like the shiny light.
Street View of Sutro Tower
Google-stalking a tower is surprisingly easy. This view from Twin Peaks Blvd. shows Sutro from approximately the correct angle that I would have if I were about 3000 miles further west.
After lamenting the lack of color printers at work, I made a black-and-white copy for use in the final image.
Cut-Rate Straight-Edge
Using the Sutro printout as a simple straight-edge, I measured the proper angle from my location to Sutro.
Since GMaps automatically aligns all maps with north, figuring out the proper angle to face just meant I had to zoom in and keep my straight-edge steady. Speck adds his weight to steady my thumb.
Hooray for low-tech solutions using high-tech devices!
Landmarks Found
After zooming in all the way, I was able to find a convenient pair of bushes to act as landmarks by which to orient my view for the picture.
Speck has lost interest in these shenanagains, and is looking for a way to invade the world of GMaps.
The Scene of the Shot
The proper landmarks - bush1 in front, bush2 in back. From this angle, a super-powerful, x-ray telescope would conceivably be able to see Sutro Tower.
It would probably also give cancer to quite a few people on the great plains, so I'll have to go with my original plan.
Attempt One
It is very difficult hold a sheet of paper steady in high winds with one hand while taking a cell-phone picture with the other hand.
It proves to be even more difficult to do so while aligning the shot at the proper angle.
Attempt Much More Than One
After 15 minutes of futile attempts, despair begins to set in. It's cold, windy, and there are wild dogs waiting nearby to eat me or at least make snarky comments about my hair.
Final View With Divine Intervention
At last, I am visited by an angel. In this case, the angel takes the form of a camera-shy architecture intern from next door, who will be known by the name "Duma," as that's the earthly nom de clémence she seems to have adopted for this visit.
She had witnessed me from the window, struggling to hold a piece of paper still, and she introduced me to the heavenly concept of taping the damned thing down to a sturdy magazine. She also kindly sighted and took this picture for Speck and I, although she was too shy to stay for her own picture.
This is probably because the unblinking eye of the digital camera would have revealed her divine countenance, undermining the unprovable nature of the divine and throwing theological studies into disarray for centuries.
Which is a shame, because she was quite nice. We may end up getting lunch together in a few days.
Distance to Sutro
Approximately 2800 miles away from Sutro Tower, as the crow drives.
Street View of Sutro Tower
Google-stalking a tower is surprisingly easy. They hardly move around at all. Hardly.
Cut-Rate Straight-Edge
Hooray for low-tech solutions using high-tech devices!
Landmarks Found
Speck has lost interest in these shenanagains, and is looking for a way to invade the world of GMaps.
The Scene of the Shot
From this angle, a super-powerful, x-ray telescope would conceivably be able to see Sutro Tower.
Attempt One
Holding a sheet of paper steady in high winds with one hand while taking a cell-phone picture with the other hand.
Attempt Much More Than One
There are wild dogs waiting nearby to eat me or at least make snarky comments about my hair.
Final View With Divine Intervention
The angel takes the form of a camera-shy architecture intern from next door.
21 vote(s)
Meta tron
5
Laura
5
Cameron
5
David Zoltan
5
Bex.
5
Stu
5
AMP
5
Ben Yamiin
5
Lincøln
5
carmen!
5
Spidere
5
Jellybean of Thark
5
Adam Grayson
5
Charlie Fish
5
= Wolfgang Hammerschmitt =
5
The Revolutionary
5
Momotiki
5
teucer
5
JJason Recognition
5
Flitworth
5
Sardonicus Tweed
Terms
(none yet)16 comment(s)
Damn it! I wanted to do this task but I let Geography talk me out of it. Way to kick Geography's ass!
p.s. Speck is cool! How did you two first meet?
I'd suggest trying to put in html codes. Lets see if it works in these comments:
That should be a line. And this sentence
should be broken with a paragraph break...
Yup, that worked. So try using {hr} for lined breaks and {p} or {br} for paragraph breaks, where '{'=='
Edited: apparently I can't even use the greater-than/less-than symbols on their own. You know what I meant.
It should also be noted that your line of fire would probably pass right through my living room.
Oooh dunno, I've never tried, but then I've never seen it either. You can embed the image as 'proof' then type in the main body and format text around it any way you like.
I can send you a PM about how to submit 'proof' pics onto the main text body if you like.
*edit* I don't think html works in the photo comments box.
No never ever never never, ms. cube, miss heart. disregard deeps, mountains, gates of leviathan, distance or broken: our wings plucked free of feathers, our breath frozen needles in our chest—the land no less a barrier than the lines on a map nothing like the landscape in your head <code></code>
If you're sick, Unit, I hope you stay that way. You sumarize beautifully.
I hope the senator is carrying this poetic method of communication out into the real world too!
AMP: Sadly, html code doesn't seem to work in image captions. So it goes. Perhaps I'll just re-enter the captions as the main text, complete with footnotes to the images. Or even direct links. The mind boggles.
Bex, Burn, Meta, and others: Thank you all for the kind advice, summaries, support, and votes!
Meta: my friendship with Speck has been a long and exciting one. Or, at very least, it promises to yet be.
Without giving too much of his private history away, we first met when I accidentally summoned him in an ancient ritual involving a camera-phone, a tile floor, and a significant abundance of alcohol and gravity. Since then, he's been ever-present in my manifested memories.
Get outta here! That exactly how I met my partner! Crazy biscuits.
p.s. you can stick the pictures into the main body of the text by clicking the 'proof' button. Type in the number of the photo (1-8 from left to right) and change the word 'left' to 'center' if you want them to break the text up.
The picture on the Praxis thumbnail is the photo in the number 1 spot, by using the proof button you can swap them round so a different photo is on the thumbnail if you want it to be. (This might be useful for future tasks)
A-HA!
Thank you, Meta! Applied and improved! Hooray!
As bonus thanks, a side story from my adventures in this task:
I tried to get to the roof of my building for the shot. After exhausting my normal skills of stealth and luck, I went for the longshot: putting on my most innocent look and just plain asking someone.
"Is there a way to get onto the roof?" I asked the secretary.
Mishearing, she asked, "You're asking if there's a way to get off of the roof?"
"No, I'm looking for a way up there. There's always a way to get off a roof."
"No, I'm looking for a way up there. There's always a way to get off a roof."
Awesome.
I have one piece of advice on getting onto roofs, don't let signs dissuade you, they're often there just to scare you away.
"There's always a way to get off a roof." Nice.
Welcome to the game!
This is some excellent tasking. Made me laff - and that's worth a vote.
It's good to see that non-SF dwellers can still put original twists on SF-specific tasks. (I say that as a London-dweller. London, UK not London, Kentucky.)
Welcome to the game!
Dammit, i was working on something almost exactly the same when you posted this! GRRRR!
Well, early bird gets the worm, so good job!
Is there a way to make line breaks or paragraphs in the image comments?
Originally, I had hoped for those comments to be broken up into a few different lines, because I hate huge paragraphs of text with a fury that burns hotter than a thousand really hot things all piled together and set on fire.