"Print this.

YOU are my proxy for exploring NYC today. THIS is the agenda that I would prepare for myself. I get to experience this only through you. A Situation, in the mode of the Situationist International, is constructed to lift you out of everyday life, and into the fulfillment of Superior Passionate Living. Let's get started.

Plan for walking. No bicycles, cars, or jetpacks. Subway and skateboard ok.

Bring your phone, a sketchbook or notepad, a writing implement, and some cash (at least $40). Camera, tape recorder, iPod, etc are fun but optional.

Use the aforementioned implements liberally.

If you can resist reading the entire task at once, do so, reading only the next step.

Begin between 11 and noon.

***

Come above ground at 68 St/Hunter College station. Walk North to E 70th; make a left.

Take note of any beautiful buildings on your route; take down the address of your favorite(s), or make a sketch, or take a photograph.

Your destination is the very first address on E 70th Street.

***

Enter the building and pay the gatekeepers what you wish.

There is a garden court straight ahead; pass through it.

You'll find yourself in an oval room. Find the prettiest girl in the room and pay her a compliment. Bonus points for saying it out loud to a painting.

Now go left (west) from the point where you entered the room.

***

You have reached the feature presentation; in this room is a beautiful painting called Mistress and Maid. Spend some time with it. Museums often rotate and rearrange their permanent collection, so if it is not in this room it is crucial that you find it. Now find the other two paintings by this artist; they could be anywhere in the museum. With only 36 extant paintings in the world, you will have seen 8% of this master's oeuvre by the time you leave. I want to know how looking at these paintings makes you feel. What do you find yourself thinking about? What, if anything, is special about them? Which is your favorite of the three? Why? Bonus point for also finding and hanging out with Van Eyck. You may leave when you have seen the three small paintings by the old Dutch guy with the funny name.

***

Walk South on 5th Ave. Anything interesting in the park today? Be sure to pet someone's dog for me. Get its name, and give it to the next person who asks you for yours ;)

At the Pulitzer Fountain throw a coin and make a wish for me. Since you are my surrogate on this task, you must make a wish that benefits me. You are moving through space right now as my proxy, experiencing it for me. Does this add a layer of depth to your experience? Do you feel like I am with you right now, in a way?

***

Go right on W 56th. You are now headed to street address 15.

Pick something off the menu that sounds intriguing. Pick something you can't get anywhere else. Write a haiku about it and send it to me in a text message.

Head to the 5th Ave/53 St station and take the E towards the WTC to 23 St station.

***

Head West on W 23rd Street. Your destination is on W 23rd just West of 10th Ave. Look up; see that elevated old freight train track? Go there.

Lay on the grass (if you dare) and imagine Brazilian guitar playing somewhere nearby; that's what I would do.

How was your journey? Think about it for awhile. Then call me and tell me. I may be at a concert; if so, leave a message telling me about the weather and the sky at that exact moment.

***

And if you have the time and energy during the last days of your stay...

Extra credit:

Eyebeam Art + Technology Center: http://www.eyebeam.org/

Gem room at the American Natural History Museum:http://www.amnh.org/exhibitions/permanent/other/minerals.html"


Max was an excellent telepresence avatar, although there was some confusion about the first destination and he had to telephone me for help. No problem. I didn't get to tour NYC, but I got a drawing, a haiku, and a sweet voicemail, not to mention the giddy excitement of knowing someone was moving thru the city as my proxy. For those of you not keen on looking it up, I sent Max to the Frick Collection to see the Vermeer paintings. After petting a dog and making a benevolent wish for me at Pulitzer Fountain, he went to Momofuku Milk Bar where he had Cereal Milk, and then to High Line Park to relax and imagine the sound stylings of Brazilian guitar. I have since been to the Frick and have seen the Vermeers myself.