I call this "Suggestions Box: The Taco Chronicles" or some other witty taco-inclusive title.

I'd been intrigued by this task for a while, but my main concern was that people would refuse to give me suggestions-people in LA are not nice about being approached by strangers soliciting things (unless you happen to be attempting to Make Their Day). So I pondered for a bit and came upon the perfect solution-offer free tacos with suggestions. Not only would I garner more interest in my suggestions box, but I would only receive suggestions from the ballsiest suggesters (that is, those willing to take free food from strangers).

My night began, as so many others do, with me sitting in front of The Suite Life of Zach and Cody shaking a pair of scissors menacingly at a shoebox.


I separated said shoebox into two compartments, one for suggestions and one for tacos, then decorated them accordingly.



The "Not Tacos" envelope was used to hold blank suggestion slips made of construction paper. The text on the "Suggestions" side next to the small taco says "No, go back...we're not wanted on this side".

I've had a longstanding tradition of heading to Hollywood on Wednesday nights to wander Hollywood Blvd and talk to strangers. Tonight was the night that I and my partner in crime had decided to dress up in fancy dresses in order to do so, and also the night that I had inconveniently forgotten that I planned to dress up in a fancy dress. Now I would have both a suggestion box filled with tacos and uncomfortable heels to contend with.

Undaunted, Caitlin & I headed to Del Taco to place the following order: 15 soft tacos, 2 chicken soft tacos (for me), and 1 iced coffee. All for the low price of $13.66. God bless Del Taco.


The drive to Hollywood continued with minimal harassment by LA drivers, although there was one sketchy incident involving a taxi driver. We parked and I filled the taco portion of the box with delicious tacos and hot sauce. I
commenced walking down Highland yelling things like "FREE TACOS FOR SUGGESTIONS...FREEEEE TACOS...WHAT TIME IS IT? IT'S TACO TIME!" to a mostly positive response.

One factor that I failed to incorporate was the brand of character I would find wandering Hollywood Blvd. late at night. Here is an approximate breakdown for your reference:

My graphs aren't as aesthetically pleasing as those in Harry's completion of this task but I think I've got the market cornered as far as mathematical integrity goes.

I received 12 suggestions before running out of suggestion slips. Caitlin & I headed to Longs Pharmacy where we got more paper and a suggestion from the cashier.


We ran into a group of people from a hostel down the street, and of course offered them tacos. The three that we talked to were foreign-one from Canada, one from Scotland, and one from Kazakhstan. The Canadian one was extremely suspicious of our free tacos (in a nice way) and accused me of putting everything from crack to laxatives in them (crackxatives?). The Scottish one didn't know what a taco was. They were really cool.

Shortly after this we ran out of tacos! Faced with the task of approaching people and soliciting suggestions sans my tortilla-wrapped incentives, I was forced to determine whether or not the Pamda Bhaer charisma was up the the task tonight. Sadly, I found it lacking-only 1 out of the 8 people I approached wrote me a suggestion.

Luckily there was a Jack in the Box around the corner (my 2nd option when it came to cheap tacos) but I began to question myself, and society as a whole-what kind of a world was it where people weren't willing to write something for a stranger without receiving a free taco? What kind of a person was I, if I had to bribe people into passing on advice as opposed to simply appealing to their better natures? What the hell did I just step in, and why was it wet? It was with a heavy heart and grimy foot that I ordered 10 more tacos from Jack in the Box ($5.26-society had yet to meet my expectations suggestion-wise but would always exceed them as far as taco price went.).



We went the opposite direction on Hollywood this time (towards Las Palmas, away from Highland for any of you LA people) and encountered more drunk people, more hipsters, and less people willing to offer suggestions, even with free tacos available. However, we did meet a few people that gave us suggestions without asking for tacos-hell, some of them rejected them! My heart lifted-if some people weren't in it just for the free tacos, and others refused to do it even with the free tacos, then maybe it wasn't my or society's fault that I was being ignored. Maybe most LA people are just jerks. My hope was confirmed when no less than 3 cars in a row narrowly avoided killing me and Caitlin as we crossed the street-they're definitely jerks. I love Los Angeles.

At this point, Caitlin's ankle was beginning to bother her (oh, she twisted it. Did I not mention that?) so we headed to Mel's diner for some therapeutic curly fries. We handed out the last of our tacos to homeless people.

Our last suggestion was given by our waiter at Mel's. He was a peach.


We opened the suggestion box at Mel's, to the great amusement of the people at a nearby table. They too were apparently from Kazakhstan, and one of them declared drunkenly and repeatedly "I will remember this moment for a long long time". I am not sure which moment he was referring to.

Was it this moment? Probably not. He wasn't there when this happened.


Here is a list of the suggestions I got--
-MORE Locations
-I suggest that you stay beautiful inside and out Love Marp(scrawl)
-Wild Side (I think this was a song suggestion)
-Be more empathetic of others
-I want to be the greatest russian actor in Hollywood Yegor Ulicko
-Bring tacos more often! -Jeff @ Longs
-Give Julio Money $$
-I suggest no more global warming! :) xoxo
-Health Care For All Americans
-Sexy
-thanks
-Vote Green Party in in November
-Peace on Earth
-Get more tacos
-Always stay happy in the Holly Lala Land Good Luck In Dreams
-Hello Pam, I'm Diamond (male 21 yrs) Stay loyal to yourself, don't take anything personal in life cause its all scripted :) Diamond
-When life gives you lemons-make lemonaide! :)
-Hey...Well.... (...'s are parts that I can't read)
-I (heart) you
-I like tacos...they are yummy!
-GET BUSH OUT
-Hi Pam, this is tony, I suggest you don't do drugs!
-Follow ur heart
-I like peopl



I don't remember everyone that gave me suggestions, unfortunately, but I did take videos of a lot of them. The video angles are all kind of weird because I was balancing the camera on top of the box for most of the night, but I compiled the most coherent moments here.


The entire task was an extremely gratifying experience, it's good to know that people around here are willing to impart life advice even if you're shoeless and carrying a $2 wand from Target. Granted, I was offering free food but for all they know I could have put crackxatives in all of them. In any case I had a great time and am terribly sad that it's over, although the recollection of being called a "Taco Fairy" and the delicate taco-scent of this cardboard box will doubtless stay in my memory for a long, long time.

-Pamda