25 + 20 points
Fortune Not Cookie by Mr Pan
February 14th, 2008 1:21 AM
We've been leaving our fortunes in bathrooms all along our travels. In Lancaster and Newark and Wilmington. We thought we'd take care of the fortunes and the public restroom job all at once. We haven't found many interesting bathrooms yet, but the fortunes have been left all over the place. Here are some of the slips we passed around
It’s mind over matter – you don’t have a mind, so you don’t matter.
Angels that are forced from Heaven must become Demons.
Careful, as the dogs have had their way with the water pump.
Bananas are like glue to the path of least resistance.
If they can’t start a meeting without you…well, that’s a meeting worth going to, isn’t it?
No one could accuse you of being ambitious.
HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE?
Civilization is only skin deep.
A serpent guard, a horus guard, and a setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The horus guard’s beak glistens. The setesh guard’s nose drips.
142 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
Spider monkeys travel in groups of 50.
In Thailand, unmarried girls/women must live with their parents, so each episode of Laverne and Shirley began with a story detailing their escape from an insane asylum.
The wife of the Pepsi president will only buy Coke products.
There are seven million homeless
children on the streets of Brazil.
Are vanishing trees being reborn
as unwanted children?
When all else fails, take a nap. Everything looks brighter in the morning, even if it is only a sunbeam.
Doors are meant to be open. Every closed door hides an intriguing mystery. Open it.
If you give me the toy, I don’t want it. If I have to chase it, I do. Nothing worth having is easily achieved.
Be an optimist. One day you will have the entire chicken to yourself.
Everything is interesting in its own way. Don’t overlook something just because it is ordinary. Paper bags and shoes are some of the most fascinating of objects.
Be independent. It is better to stand on your own four paws than on anyone else’s.
On the other paw : don’t be so independent that you alienate others. Sometimes you need someone to work the can opener for you.
Always choose contrasting colors to shed on. In other words, don’t blend in. Be yourself, be unique.
There is nothing better than a good book to curl up on.
It’s okay to step on people to get from one end of the sofa to the other. Sometimes you have to walk on others to get through life.
At the same time, never forget to let your friends know that you appreciate them. A little gift on the doorstep can truly brighten someone’s day.
Be spontaneous. Nothing is more satisfying than tearing down a hall for no apparent reason. If nothing else, it always surprises people.
Push the boundaries. No window sill is too high or high enough.
Relax! Life shouldn’t be so stressful that you can’t stop and smell the catnip.
If you want your dreams to come true -- don’t oversleep.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends -- B 1.
The 10 commandments are not multiple choice.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Minds are like parachutes -- they function only when open.
Ideas won’t work unless YOU do.
One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.
The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.
Don’t learn safety rules by accident.
We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.
Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.
A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.
One thing you can give -- and still keep -- is Your Word.
A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a life time
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them
You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned taking a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
It’s mind over matter – you don’t have a mind, so you don’t matter.
Angels that are forced from Heaven must become Demons.
Careful, as the dogs have had their way with the water pump.
Bananas are like glue to the path of least resistance.
If they can’t start a meeting without you…well, that’s a meeting worth going to, isn’t it?
No one could accuse you of being ambitious.
HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW OLD YOU ARE?
Civilization is only skin deep.
A serpent guard, a horus guard, and a setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The horus guard’s beak glistens. The setesh guard’s nose drips.
142 licks to get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
Spider monkeys travel in groups of 50.
In Thailand, unmarried girls/women must live with their parents, so each episode of Laverne and Shirley began with a story detailing their escape from an insane asylum.
The wife of the Pepsi president will only buy Coke products.
There are seven million homeless
children on the streets of Brazil.
Are vanishing trees being reborn
as unwanted children?
When all else fails, take a nap. Everything looks brighter in the morning, even if it is only a sunbeam.
Doors are meant to be open. Every closed door hides an intriguing mystery. Open it.
If you give me the toy, I don’t want it. If I have to chase it, I do. Nothing worth having is easily achieved.
Be an optimist. One day you will have the entire chicken to yourself.
Everything is interesting in its own way. Don’t overlook something just because it is ordinary. Paper bags and shoes are some of the most fascinating of objects.
Be independent. It is better to stand on your own four paws than on anyone else’s.
On the other paw : don’t be so independent that you alienate others. Sometimes you need someone to work the can opener for you.
Always choose contrasting colors to shed on. In other words, don’t blend in. Be yourself, be unique.
There is nothing better than a good book to curl up on.
It’s okay to step on people to get from one end of the sofa to the other. Sometimes you have to walk on others to get through life.
At the same time, never forget to let your friends know that you appreciate them. A little gift on the doorstep can truly brighten someone’s day.
Be spontaneous. Nothing is more satisfying than tearing down a hall for no apparent reason. If nothing else, it always surprises people.
Push the boundaries. No window sill is too high or high enough.
Relax! Life shouldn’t be so stressful that you can’t stop and smell the catnip.
If you want your dreams to come true -- don’t oversleep.
The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention.
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends -- B 1.
The 10 commandments are not multiple choice.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Minds are like parachutes -- they function only when open.
Ideas won’t work unless YOU do.
One thing you can’t recycle is wasted time.
One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.
The heaviest thing to carry is a grudge.
Don’t learn safety rules by accident.
We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.
Jumping to conclusions can be bad exercise.
A turtle makes progress when it sticks its head out.
One thing you can give -- and still keep -- is Your Word.
A friend walks in when everyone else walks out.
The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a life time
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
Everyone seems normal until you get to know them
You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
"I've learned taking a "living" is not the same thing as "making a life."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back."
"I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one."
"I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back."
"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Fortunes.jpg
Here are some fortunes WE found that someone else had collected and finally thrown away.
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posted by Coreopsis Major Bloden Melen on February 14th, 2008 8:22 PM
A serpent guard, a horus guard, and a setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The horus guard’s beak glistens. The setesh guard’s nose drips.
This made me not only laugh, but also run around my apartment, guffawing, hopping up and down, and clapping my hands. Usually I just guffaw when I come across it in its original context. In this case, it caused a full-on spaz.
You guys made my night. Thanks!
Awesome fortunes, and I'll vote for that. However, just so you know, the task would be much more compelling if you'd had documentation of the installation, or, even better, of people's reactions.