Operation BubbleYum:

or

How to Turn a War Machine into a Whimsical Confection



This task is brought to you by SLØ

with special guest star Zer0gee

and is dedicated to Evil Sugar, the biggest candy fiend of all.

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I knew what I wanted to do as soon as I read this task, and it wasn’t going to be with a canon, either. I wanted a cold, hard, three-dimensional cannon. And I wanted to turn it pink.



Now, vandalism can be playful. But permanently marring a monument to veterans is more likely to fall under the “political statement” category than under the “playful mischief” one. So the first order of business was finding a temporary medium of pink. Tempera? Crepe Paper? Saran Wrap? After this task had been tumbling about my brain for some time, I saw an advertisement for a sprayable sidewalk paint by Crayola… but they only sell small bottles. They weren’t too pricey, but a dozen of them would be. And the sprayer itself was around $30 American. I do not believe that tasking should be expensive, I mean, unless it’s really worth it. And well, I would not pay upwards of $50 to turn a cannon pink for a day, would you?

Luckily I found a recipe. 1 part cornstarch, 1 part water. Add food coloring. Voila, sidewalk paint. 100% washable with water. Now I just needed some willing participants. I knew I could talk Kid A and Zoo Babies into it, but I was anticipating a need for more manpower. Enter Super Fly and Super Mean, new additions to St. Louis Zero, and ones I’d never met before. After a few exchanges via email, I told them I had a task in mind and instructed them to purchase a pump sprayer, the kind you might use for pest control. Some time passed with no response. Weeks later I got this from Super Fly:

"The items have been acquired. Never doubt my commitment to SparkleMotion."

Knowing that I had a proper team to work with, I set about experimenting with the medium. The 1:1 mixture was much too thin. It wouldn’t lay down a proper coat. Nearly doubling the amount of cornstarch made a viscous paint, but I feared it wouldn’t go through the sprayer. Super Fly also did a series of experiments and he confirmed my fears; anything thin enough to work with the sprayer wouldn’t be pink enough, at least without a lot of layers- something we wouldn’t have time for on site. So we amended our plans and decided to pour on the viscous mixture.

I had a vision of this inexplicably bubblegum-pink cannon, perfectly consistent in it’s rosy pinkness, just basking next to the runners trail in Forest Park. Pouring the paint on meant giving up that vision. It also meant that it might look like it had been frosted by an obsessive-compulsive cake-decorator at large. What was that about bubblegum again? A pink frosted cannon blowing a candy-pink bubble might look positively delicious. At least Evil Sugar would like it.



So Kid A and I went to stake out our target. We’d decided to execute this at about 2 am, in a very well-patrolled park that closes at 10. A thorough survey of the area told us we’d need at least 3 lookouts surrounding the site, with1 person in open contact with them, 2 painters and a photographer. So we recruited 2 Non-Players to assist as lookouts. Now we had ourselves covered; should anyone approach from any direction, we’d have enough time to make it to our strategically placed getaway car.

Positions:

Team A
painter 1: Minx
painter 2: Super Fly
lead lookout: Kid A
photog: Super Mean

Team B
satellite lookie 1: Laux
satellite lookie 2: Non Player Andy
satellite lookie 3: Non Player Gary



But what if a Ranger or Cop should approach our lookouts? Why should they be in the Park at 2 am? I came up with a thin alibi; they’d be holding “Lost Dog” signs. Should they be approached, they’d need not run, or even pretend to be hanging them. They’d be on the phone with Kid A, holding these signs. The story? “My friend lost their dog here earlier today. I’m helping to hang these.” Of course they’d get told to leave immediately. But by then the vandals would be speeding down Lindell.

.


D-Day

The date was set for this task in the hopes that a visiting Zer0gee would be able to join us. That sort of fell through due to corporate bear suits, but she was able to help us with the prep work. She, Kid A, and I mixed paint and gathered materials. Zoo Babies amused herself with a balloon pump. Before we knew it, it was time to meet our mystery collaborators. I jumped into my ninja gear and we were anxiously in motion.



After a quick introduction and debriefing, Team A and Team B parted ways and took position. The execution was swift; we were able to concentrate on the task at hand thanks to our diligent lookouts. Afterwards we regrouped and shook hands, and spoke of future collaborations. To Supers Fly and Mean, it is good to have you.

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Appendix

This is the game plan that was formulated jointly by Super Mean, Kid A, and myself, if you're interested:

The basic idea is for us to have two cars. One of the cars will contain the scouts, the other car will contain everyone that is going to be at the cannon. The cannon car will park on Lindell, close to the actual cannon. The other car will enter the park from the Lindell entrance, and drop off the two scouts in the park. After that, it will exit the park, and park on Lindell, but down a ways so the driver can observe if it looks like someone is going to be turning into the park. Once the scouts are all in place, and things seem calm, the people going to the cannon will quickly exit their vehicle, make their way to the cannon, and immediately begin. There is a nearby tree that we can duck into if needed to hide for a moment.

Hopefully, and even most likely, we won't get interrupted once. In that case as soon as we are done we vacate the area and drive away, while the scout car picks up the scouts and gets out of there. The scout car should obviously not contain any sort of materials that would link it to the cannon painting, just in case they get stopped in the park. No paint, no sprayers, no Crayolas, nothing. In case we do get interrupted in the middle of the action, the lead lookout will call for whatever action is needed, whether it is to continue painting, duck into the tree, or abandon the project and get out.

yes, that's preparedness. enjoy the pics.