Hola Boys and Girls, Clownface here and boy do i have a story for you.

One evening I invited some of the clowns to a fun filled time involving games of skill and chance drawn from another time and place. They quickly arrived in their ridiculously small cars and atop cleverly tall stilts to sit down, relax, and gamble away their hard earned cash. #honk honk#

Allow me to describe to you a card game to end all card games with two simple words... Interstellar Pig.

The Rules are simple enough. You pick a character with an IRSC, or Interstellar Relative Sapience Code. At the start of your turn, you reveal a number cards from the Armageddon Deck equal to your IRSC. One card in the deck, if drawn, destroys the solar system and the game ends. So, a lower score is usually favorable. If the solar system is still intact, you chose how many players you want to trade cards with. Each player offers three out of their four cards for trade. If they have the Interstellar Pig, they must endanger it. You then trade cards with other players a number of times equal to your IRSC, with a maximum of one card per player. ##Before or after trading, any player that thinks you are withholding the interstellar Pig, they can call you a "Liar and a thief". you reveal your hand. If you had the pig, they get it. if they were wrong, their hand size goes down by one.##

Soooo... lets give an example using our game play experience.



Ty goes first. Hes playing Bolma, a humanlike ape thing, so he has an IRSC of 4. He reveals four Armageddon cards and thankfully non of them destroy the solar system. He decides to only trade with the deck (Because the deck counts as a person too) so he puts one of his cards on the bottom and draws another.



Next its my turn. I'm playing Jlrb, the aquatic crustacean, so i have an IRSC of 1 and draw only one card.(We started out with Jlrb having an IRSC of 0, but all i could do on my turns was wiggle like an amoeba) I decide to trade with Ty. We exchange cards but unfortunately all i got for my Space Whale was A Goat. At the first chance he got, Ty jumped up and called me "A liar and a thief!" so i revealed my hand. All I had were junk cards, no pig. With his head held in shame, his hand size goes down to three. Next Wild Bear trades with both myself and Ty. Tys turn again, revealing another heavy four cards from the Armageddon Deck. The solar system survives another cycle. He trades with the deck, Wild Bear, and myself. I return his blow by calling him a liar and a thief. He reveals his hand, showing that he has nothing of value, so i go down to three cards and draw a new hand. My turn i draw something very interesting. It looks like a pig, it smells like a pig and its got a... mustache?

I have drawn the Impostor Pig, a card forged by my own hand. You have not felt defeat until you draw the Impostor Pig and think that you have this game in the bag.



Wild Bear Next. She reveals two cards from the deck, flipping over the ace of spades. Game Over. The whole gang tentatively reveals their hands. Wild Bear had the Pig the whole game.

Mortals and magicians, may I present a game straight from the world of swirling sands and hot nights? Where thieves and princes walk the golden streets and djinni lamps are the pinnacle of fine living? Straight from Arabia comes DJINNVOSO!

From the pages of "The Blue Djinn of Babylon" this magical variant of Liar's dice has reared its deceptive head, offering the chance to lie, cheat, and steal that everyone has been looking for. The rules are simple to grasp and difficult to master. Each player starts with 14 six sided dice(D6) and a CUP. Other things can be used, but you need at least 5 D6 per player plus two more to be the "table dice". At the beginning of play the players decide who is going to go first in any way that they possibly can.

On any given round the person who is "it" rolls the table dice so everyone can see them and than each player shakes and secretly looks at anywhere between 1 and 5 dice in their cup. Players then alternate betting on how many of a certain number of numbers are showing on the table. (Ex: 2 3's; 4 6's; 21 2's) Players bet their dice (chips, whatever). At any point someone can call a player a liar, at which point all players reveal their dice and the numbers are counted. If the player was lying, the one who called them on it gets all the dice int he pot, if they weren't they get all the dice, and play starts over.



A few rules that were worked in at the last second; You cannot bet less than the person before you (if they put 2 dice in the pot, you have to put 2 or more), you cannot make a statement using less numbers than the person before you (if they say 2 3's, you cannot say 1 2), and each round starts with each player betting one dice before any statements are made.

The most fantastic rule is that once per round a player can shake their dice, but after that they cannot look at them until the final reveal. This game was created so even djinni couldn't cheat at it, and it makes for great mortal fun.

Our last game was pulled straight from the wizarding world of a raven haired boy named Harry Potter. You might know it as Exploding Snap.

The Game is ridiculously simple. You have about 12 cards face down in rows of four, and you reveal them in pairs in an attempt to reveal a matched pair. If you reveal a pair, you put it aside and continue. Easy Right? Well, with Exploding Snap, two cards will randomly burst into flame every ten seconds.

Since I lack exploding cards, i merely used some Magic: The Gathering cards and rolled a twenty twelve sided die to determine which cards "explode".



Wild Bear, Ty and myself all played this single player game individually to test our matching skills.

The Clowns all had a fun filled day and night of card and dice games, gambling and all around tom foolery. So let us play you out. Goodnight fair audience, and drive safely. #honk honk#