Pedantiscrupular syndrome

This relatively commonplace ailment occurs in those who lack the ability to communicate with people fairly. It originated around the time of Henry VIII, who chopped the heads off his wives because his sperm was, in fact, not good enough. More commonly found in upper-class families or those with superior intelligence, PSS inhibits the neurostumblar centre of the brain, resulting in various different behaviours. Contrary to popular belief, this syndrome is not possessed by every Brit in existance - just the select few.

Symptoms include: correcting others' spelling, grammar or pronounciation, being patronising or condescending towards peers, getting cross when things do not go your way, showing other qualities of a Byronic hero and displaying an unhealthy affinity to literary characters such as Lockwood from Emile Brontë's Wuthering Heights.

The cause of PSS is currently unknown, and most scientists would agree that the sufferer is not the bearer of the disease, but all the people surrounding him or her. Some predict that the origins of this disease appear around excess money or any Dungeons and Dragons board.

Treatment includes: a good shouting at, a slap in the face, a kick in the balls, or a taste of one's own medicine.