



Thank You The MGMT by susy derkins
December 13th, 2007 10:36 AMI hate it.
I dread going in, everyday.
The building embodies many of the things I stand against: frivolity, useless work, suits, bureaucracy, bluff, yuppies, consumerism, slave mentality, arbitary authority, corporations, clocking-in and -out, families broken by senseless long workdays.
At least I have a window, I guess. I have a view of rooftops and traffic on the highway. But if the day is clear I can even see the volcanoes, though. I think the last time I saw the volcanoes was back in May.
I guess I hate the building because I fear it. Being in the building makes me nervous. I hate to be watched all the time by the security guards and surveillance cameras.
Everyday I meet at least:
3 security guards at the entrance of the parking lot
2 security guards at the parking lot level where I have my assigned parking space
1 security guard at the lobby building, that checks my ID
1 security guard at the reception of the 5th floor who opens the door for me (even though my ID is a keycard, but I guess the guy gets bored as hell...)
2 security cameras in the parking lot
1 security camera in the elevator area in every floor
3 security cameras in the hallway getting to my office
The guy in the lobby has two monitors with at least 9 panels of surveillance camera real time feed on each. The guy in my floor has one monitor with at least 9 panels of surveillance cameras covering the 5th and 6th floor and the stairways between them.
The building has 8 floors and three elevators.
I am not sure if there are cameras inside the elevators.
I made a sign that read:
PLEASE DO NOT STAND AGAINST THE MIRROR BECAUSE THAT OBSTRUCTS THE CAMERAS. THANK YOU, THE MGMT
and the same thing is Spanish:
FAVOR DE NO RECARGARSE EN EL ESPEJO PORQUE SE OBSTRUYEN LAS CAMARAS. GRACIAS, LA ADMON
and posted it in one of the elevators at 7:30 am.
I chose the elevator located farther away from the table where the security guards are located on every floor. It wasn´t easy to get an empty elevator even at 7:30.
I am sure that the elevator carried up at least 200 people between 7:30 and 9:00 am. It gets completely packed at rush hour, so there was probably people obstructing the sign many times, but I am also sure many people read it. I rode up and down 25 minutes after posting it and saw at least 8 people glance at it and/or read it. Nobody batted an eye. Maybe a sigh and some eye rolling. I was carrying my camera but couldn´t document it, though. I guess I am a wuss. Corporate-induced fear is stupid but strong.
But I know of at least one person who saw the sign and got annoyed by it. I was sitting down at the reception area at 8:55 ready to document the inside of the elevator when the door opened, to show either that the sign was still there or a least how packed the elevator gets at 9 am.
I just couldn´t.
From the elevator exited my boss, who´s the general director of the whole 5th and 6th floors, accompanied by secretary #3. Secretary #3 had my sign, still with pieces of tape on top of the documents she was holding. I recognized my boss expression as the one he gets when he is raging mad and has to act polite towards his underlings.
I said "good morning" to both and followed them to the 9:00 am meeting.

Posted on the elevator wall. I was pretty nervous, as you can see, because there might be cameras in the elevator after all.

My boss´ picture color enhanced to show mean expression. And here he is posing for the photograph...

Not my boss. Is a wax statue of Robert De Niro and still looks so much nicer. Relevance to the task? What do you mean?
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(none yet)7 comment(s)
I like it.
Any clue as to whetherit was the sign or something else that pissed off your boss?
Oh, it must have been the sign: from noticing it while getting on the elevator at the parking lot level, finding it annoying for either reveal security secrets or make fun of them, and getting secretary #3 to take it down in a packed rush hour elevator (excuse me, thank you, excuse me!) so that the 12 or so people riding got to actually read it and wonder about it. Plus, he instructed secretary #3 to save it, instead of throwing it away, so I am pretty sure there was a follow-up phone call to The MGMT... I´ll try to post a "DO NOT POST SIGNS ON THE ELEVATOR. THANK YOU, THE MGMT" on Monday :)
Or perhaps "Please do not tamper with posted signs."
Get fired! Just keep pissing them off until they fire you. It could be the best thing that ever happens to you. (And it might boost your confidence to realise you can get away with a lot more than you think before you get fired.) It worked for me - I got fired from Procter & Gamble after publishing this story making fun of them, and I have a much better job now. (NB: it took just over a year to get there though.)
Disclaimer: whatever you do, don't follow my advice.
nice work, i like the added multilingual touch.
That's fabulous.
If you do the follow up sign, that'll be the most fabulous. Please do.
Good one, Suzy. Your building sounds like an Orwellian nightmare. When are you going to do this task?