Time for some spam. Our target? Storer.

For all those of whom don't know Storer, he's the "huh" or "buh-dum-dum-tsch!" idiot, or known as the mop.

Research
To truly personalise the spam, we needed to collect information about Storer, and what he would reply to. So we compiled a list of stuff related to Storer.

-- Storer's full name is Daniel Colin Storer. He is not addressed with this name, ever. He is simply 'Storer'
-- He is protective of his long blonde hair. In which is a bald spot, this gets mentioned. Lots.
-- He is the butt of many 'stupid' jokes, all in good fun, even though he's actually rather intelligent.
-- He's nearly impossible to insult. The only one that has been found to work so far is 'You got beat on the maths test by 2 marks'
-- His core vocabulary in general conversation is limited to 'Huh?', 'Huuuuuh?', 'Buh-Dum-Dum-Tsch' (and it's many derivatives), 'Food' and names of people.
-- He's dyslexic, but that doesn't affect much.
-- He's very sporty.
-- He eats more than Daryl, and that's saying something, yet he stays thin and fit.
-- He has been christened 'Shirley' by more than one substitute teacher.
-- He vibrates at night, he is your delight. (Plug him in)
-- He's not that clued up on technology. ("Hey guys, I found this really cool site yesterday, Wikipedia!")
-- He gets 15 minutes extra in exams, but uses it to sleep.

Right, now we had all the info to write our email.

The address
We created bddtenterprises@hotmail.com as our fake address, Storer may spot 'bddt' as 'buh-dum-dum-tsch' and discover us, but it's unlikely. And hey, we like to give him a fighting chance, I mean we know all that about him, and he knows nothing about BDDTEnt. does he?

The Company
BTTDEnt. Is owned by Mark Evans, born 27th Feb 1980 in England (UR83 R84) a respectable tradesman who runs the business with his childhood friend Jim. BDDTEnt gives away free advice to people, especially those who feel unappreciated by their friends. It also offers baldness cures, and dyslexia treatments.

The Email

To the recipient,

Hi, I'm Mark Evans. I run BDDTEnterprises.
We offer free advice to those who feel unappreciated in any way. If
you're feeling down about friendship, intelligence, work, school or
even a medial disability, we can help.

Do you sometimes feel your friends don't understand you? Or that they underappreciate you?

Do you have an odd diet? Maybe people put you down because of it?

Do people mistake you for the opposite gender?

Are you uncomfortable with your receding hairline, or bald patches?

Do you sometimes feel you can't grasp new technology? Others laugh at your failure to use it?

Do you find yourself resorting to catchphrases in order to stay in a circle of friends?

Look no further! I'm here to help.

Email me your problem, and I will personally reply with a sure fire solution that'll guarantee you the respect you deserve!



Remember, all advice is completely free and confidential- So email now!

-Mark Evans, BDDTEnterprises.
bddtenterprises@hotmail.com

The Results

To start with, Ben pointed out that the email we sent it to wasn't Storer's, and that Storer didn't have an email address as such. So we sent it to his mother's email account, and got storer to check it with a decoy.

Ben and Daryl asked Storer if he had been getting these spammy emails from 'Mark Evans', and if they had, they should send back "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." It may sound like a Shakespeare quote, but they;d seen it on a blog somewhere and tried it, and the emails stopped coming.

"(21:09) Ben // Milky Rob: Did you get that email from that Mark Evans guy too?
(21:10) storer: what i will just check m8
(21:10) Ben // Milky Rob: Apparently everyone is getting them
(21:11) storer: o my mum deleated it a mo ago

(21:11) Ben // Milky Rob: Lol.
(21:12) storer: what you up to
(21:12) Ben // Milky Rob: Oh, damn
(21:12) Ben // Milky Rob: I'm looking at a website, and it says that you'll keep getting them if you don't reply with a passphrase
(21:13) storer: fuck-uf
i will make sure we dont get any more
(21:13) Ben // Milky Rob: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.

Sounds like a Shakespeare quote
That's the passphrase, anyway
(21:13) storer: my brov is brill at compupers and will either sent a virouse or hack there systom, and iradicate us from there email list
(21:15) storer: or something to that extent
lol
(21:15) Ben // Milky Rob: xD
(21:15) storer: ya he rocks
(21:15) Ben // Milky Rob: Hmm, I suggest sending that email back, the mails have just stopped for me
(21:16) Ben // Milky Rob: Just say "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" and they'll send you back an email saying "Thankyou. Your name will now be removed from our mailing list."
(21:16) storer: they are stoping emailing us anyway
my brither rocks
(21:23) storer: ownage
(21:23) Ben // Milky Rob: ? What did you do?
(21:23) storer: my brother stopped the messages somehow
(21:24) storer: i dont understand most thing he can do on the compuper
(21:28) Ben // Milky Rob: Still getting them?
(21:28) storer: ha ha
(21:28) Ben // Milky Rob: >
?*
(21:28) storer: unlucky i will ask him to help you aswell
(21:28) storer: whats your email again
(21:28) Ben // Milky Rob: No, I mean
Are you still getting them?
(21:29) storer: and adress
(21:29) Ben // Milky Rob: I'm not
(21:29) storer: o no
(21:29) Ben // Milky Rob: Good
(21:29) storer: kk"

Storer instead got his brother to "Hack our mailservers" to stop the emails from coming. He infact merely blocked bddtenterprises from the email field. Not to worry. 10 minutes later the emails started again from several new email addresses, slowly revealing more personal information. It was horror movie-esque, and eventually Storer asked for the passphrase again, and sent it.

"(21:52) Ben // Milky Rob: I started getting the emails on my other accounts
And they're from different people
Sending the passphrase through to them stops them still, I think
(21:53) storer: ha lol, my brover took down the reciver, on our end so our computer doesnt get them lo;
(21:59) storer is now Offline
(22:28) storer: whats that thing for mark evans again
it is coming back
plz huury
(22:28) Ben // Milky Rob: The lady doth protest too much, methinks.
(22:29) storer: thanks m8
(22:29) storer: thanks
(22:29) storer is now Offline"



Now it got interesting.


The next email he received was confirming his order for a large supply of viagra.



Also revealing his road and town. At this point we thought we might have gone too far and swiftly followed it up with.



We haven't received a reply as of yet. If we do, we'll simply send a link to this task page.