Long Haired Freaky People Need Not Apply by Charlie Fish
August 9th, 2007 2:13 PMThere's no number, mind you, it just says "IS THE NUMBER OF THIS CAB" -- no punctuation either. It just leaves you hanging.
Is it a question?
Is the number hidden somewhere?
Am I missing something?
Now, you might think I'm overreacting, but this really riles me. Last time I was in a black cab, I looked all over trying to find the number to which this little sign refers. But there isn't one. The only other feature on that whole plastic panel is a little plaque boasting the manufacturer of this handsome hackney.
I asked the driver what the sign meant. "What sign?" he replied in a satisfying cockney jaunt. "IS THE NUMBER OF THIS CAB," I replied through gritted teeth. "Dunno," he offered. I think I fumed in silence for the whole rest of the trip.
IS THE NUMBER OF THIS CAB
IS THE NUMBER OF THIS CAB WHAT?
AAAAAAAGH!
IS THE NUMBER OF THIS CAB.JPG
WHAT is the number of this cab? Tell me. TELL ME! I CAN FEEL MY BLOOD BOILING! RRAAAAAAAGGGHHH!
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Vote for asking the cab driver. If you hadn't I was going to suggest it.
According to the 2007 Public Carriage Office Conditions of Fitness, item 21, in every taxicab licensed to operate in London,
A frame must be provided for the fare table and fixed in an approved place. A position for an interior number plate is to be provided with the words, "The number of this taxi is...." shown immediately above the position of the plate.
Which explains why cabs would have a sign similar to yours. The odd thing is that it isn't identical. If I read the regulations properly, the sign not only requires a very specific word order, but it also MUST include a four-dot ellipses in order to satisfy the requirements.
I think you should take up the cause of demanding something be done about cabs that don't follow the letter of the law in the text of their number indicator indicator.
Or, at the very least, you should match the size and font of the signs and print up a bunch of stickies which you can use for completing the sentence in every cab you take.
I second the vote for asking the cabbie. (And for indirectly causing me to discover that taximeter is an officially sanctioned word.)
Wow, Loki, that's pretty impressive.
So the Conditions of Fitness require for there to be a sign saying "The number of this taxi is....", and they require a space to be left for that number to be affixed, but they do not actually require the number to be affixed.
Hence why there are a lot of black cabs around with that infuriating unanswered quasi-question.
I think I actually feel a bit better about that now.
This sign actually makes me feel uneasy as I look at it.
The reason it says cab and not taxi is probably a matter of pride. There is a big difference between a mere taxi and a black cab.
Normally about £10.
nice work charlie fish!
next time i'm in a black cab (ie cold, tired, sick of walking and with a stolen wallet in my pocket) i shall use a sharpie for what god intended...
zoop zoop.
musta been last midweek, there was blood all over, and poison, just enough to fill the ear cups. we took it. we spent unwisely and counted down the seconds. tick tick tick. vented the pressure, but left something there. We were misaligned, but hoping. Sky's rent, calluses on our best days. Saved it up for this.
WTF?
No, this level of confusion does not justify contractions...
What the fuck?
confusion, yes, but congrats on the hegemony, charlie fish.
well done, old boy.
Hey guys, give B-Unit a chance. Try interpreting what he's saying, I'm sure he has some sort of message he's trying to communicate-in the abstract. That's what poetry/creative writing is. It's meant to be deciphered. We won't give it to you that easily.
On that note:
a delicate dark has taken to nibbling at man-flesh and bitter lives of late, pouring over the red ears of the young ones and suffocating those too dead to think/I was hearkened by it, beckoned by the love-lust sweat on Satan's brow, congealed at the tips of his fingers and intertwining with the roots of my scalp/he is here, you see, residing in the dog-shit shanties of your mind, scraping at the open wounds on your knees from kneeling on street corners trying to find a bite to eat in the gutters of your too-taught heart/the dark/harden your wounds, seize the (lifted) day and empty your pockets of the change you have refused to accept/you wept/you wrung your hands of it/you pulled your hair at its woven roots/you slept
Methinks Mr. Unit is Documenting Confusion, epic-stylee...
Vixen, you're just odd. But in such a good way.
Has anyone ever noticed that you sometimes get creepy poetry in your junk email? It always starts with a line advertising Viagra or diplomas or Cock Growth Patches or something, but then the message is bulked out with what looks like random extracts from unread literature - presumably to try and dodge the spam filters.
Junk Mail Poetry has always kind of inspired me - I feel like I should collect it and do something with it some day...
God dag,
Increasse your S.E.[X].U.A.L health!
Fell down her thin cheek. It's you who are punishing gets
up and dances, so at that time i am standing had believed
that he must be a hero. There was nevfle has never been
actually championship class. Many big and famous houses
in my life. A kind lewis is away. Christian hardly ever
stays longer him away to the asylum and she eventually recovered
to go round to curzon street. The telephone rang suggestion.
ahl m. Carrege passed lightly to another could not so much
as get into the throat of monseigneur, of no consequence.
fell not, but dangled in mid handsome fellow john has grown!
so tall, and broad, count death must have occurred about
nine to seven for she chose her time when malcolm must be
in timid, as if fearing his anger or displeasure..
There are whole pages of this stuff on the internet, when I searched my name once - my real name - I found it in one of these big long pages of scary prose. Creepy.
I think its some kind of encryption method using poetry as the key (I have the same name as a famous-ish poet, they might have been using her poem).
It's fun to try a figure out BU's meaning, but also a bit like finding patterns in the clouds.
tick tick tick = C.E.?
Sky's rent = fickle sky task?
Saved it up for this = his ubervote?
For some reason the image of blood-filled ear cups has haunted me for days now.
with all of this nonsense.... and the dawn of event comments....
we need COMMENT VOTES.
i mean finally.... how many times has it been mentioned?
1 vote possible per comment. Negative votes possible as well. Whoever runs on this platform will have BARTpa behind them.
I've never been in a black cab in any kind of state to be noticing stuff. Next time though...