My laminated sign

University of Aesthematics is always way over-represented on the praxis. There have been twice as many UofA completions than any other group. But I've completed nearly 60 tasks in two years, and I have NEVER done a UofA task... until now.

The Prince Regent

Me sitting in the pub, ready and waiting for my first customer.

Medium

I mostly used four colours of acrylic paint. And, yes, that's a slice of lemon in my rinse pot.

Norris

My first client! She stayed remarkably still while modelling for me. So I felt guilty when I was barely looking at her.

Kandinsky

Norris asked for a Kandinsky-style caricature. It took at least twice as long as advertised...

Spillage

I was a bit drunk (very drunk, by the end of the day...), and I spilled my rinse pot over the painting. I managed to rescue it, but a couple of the crisp edges were not so crisp anymore. All part of the look, of course.

Pleased

Norris acted very pleased with her painting. She's an artist herself.

Norris's reaction

You may think she's holding it upside-down, but actually I painted it upside-down.

Waitress

The waitress wanted a Miro-style caricature. She was busy, so she asked me to do it from a picture. This is the picture.

I am a artist.

I am not a artist.

I could be Miro.

This is the finished caricature of the waitress. I know the likeness is uncanny, but it's not actually the waitress herself, it's only a painting!

Waitress.m4v

I was surprised that my clients went to such lengths to sound intellectual. I was was even more surprised that they seemed to actually want to keep their paintings.

Andrew

My third customer, Andrew, wanted a Pollock.

If I'd been much drunker, I could have vommed on the page. Voila, Pollock!

South African Andrew was very jolly.

Concentrating

This is a serious art.

Splattering

I enjoyed painting the Pollock more than any of the others.

Finished Pollock

Andrew seemed genuinely pleased with the result.

Andrew's reaction

My friends were getting annoyed with me at this point because the waitress refused to serve us food until I cleared away all the paint stuff. Even after I cleared it away, we ended up waiting for an hour and a half for our food - perhaps we had pissed them off somehow.

An original Fish

Andrew actually asked me to sign his caricature.

Canadian Liam

Customer number four!

Rothko

Liam wanted a Rothko-style caricature. This is the finished product.

Spitting image

I don't think Rothko would have used such bright colours. But hey, Liam was a bright sort of chap.

Liam's reaction

Alison

Alison was shy. She deleted the pictures I took of her because she didn't like them, and she said I could use this one.

Hard at work

I suggested a Barnett Newman-style caricature for Alison.

Alison's caricature

She went home before it was finished (the red layer was still drying), so I kept the finished product as my own souvenir of the evening.