I am forced into speech because men of science have refused to follow my advice without knowing why. It is altogether against my will that I tell my reasons for opposing this contemplated invasion of the aether- with its vast frequency hunt and its wholesale transmission and broadcast of the ancient cellular signals. And I am the more reluctant because my warning may be in vain.

Augustus deCorbeau,
Miskatonic University

Upon leaving the University, our Expedition set out Southward, intent on following up on Nathan B. Stubblefield's 1908 report of the "cave radio" (Patent Number 887357) in his native Murray, Kentucky. However, we had not traveled far at all before young Atherton began pointing out the technological parasites clinging to the heads and hips of the rude native folk. At first, we took the lumps of dull grey metal to be some sort of primitive jewelry or ritual decoration. It would only be later, after more detailed observation, that we would come to understand the true, more sinister meaning of these devices.

But... I have gotten ahead of myself.


Leaving the others to set up camp one evening, I set out to explore the surrounding wilderness, being sure to take the precaution of securing myself a sidearm from the expedition armory.



A cursory scan of the surroundings presented me with a well-worn path that belied frequent use by the natives.


It wasn't long before the dull gleam of some object on the path caught my eye. I stopped to examine it more closely.


The discarded tendrils were similar to those I had seen earlier in the bazaar, and which the odiferous merchant had informed me were "paua coorts". From what I was able to piece together from local legends, these thin tentacles are the parasite's feeding mechanism. By day, they clung tightly to their hosts' skin, but in the evening as their hosts slept, the parasites would somehow extend tentacles to tap into the mystical energies that permeate this strange land.
From these traces, knew that I must be close to one of these nocturnal feeding grounds.


My suspicions were proved correct when I stumbled upon a pair of the things resting on a ceramic countertop, their tiny green eyes blinking slowly as their tendrils extracted energy from the nearby wall.


Silently, I loaded my revolver. If I could bring down one of the elusive creatures, I would be able to examine it properly back at camp.


Moving carefully, so as not to disturb my quarry, I advanced, gun at the ready.


I let fly a single shot.

And yet my shot missed by a mere hair's breadth.


The noise of my gun startled the sleeping machines.


With their piercing alarms ringing, the pair scrambled for cover.


I let fly several more rounds at the one scuttling down the path.

And managed to finally subdue the savage mechanism.


Cautiously, I recovered my catch.


And returned triumphantly to camp, whereupon I would properly dissect and mount the specimen.

---

To mount the technology for transportation back to the University, I adhered to the guidelines published by Mike Gadd of Hollydean Cottage.


1. This is the starting point - all details regarding cause of the technology's death are logged . It is then tagged and many measurements are taken to help when reconstructing the technology at a later stage. Taxidermists need to keep information on the specimens that they receive, see taxidermy law section on the afore mentioned site for more info.


2. An incision is made in the technology's doodad to allow the body to be removed. The skin holds the plastic shell just like our hair is routed into our skin.


3. The Skin is peeled back until the battery and the keypad can be detached.


4. The fully skinned technology - all the rubber excess metal and plastic is removed. Note the button tracts, these are where the plastic shell grows from. The antenna and hinge bits are kept but all flesh is removed.


5. The original body and the reconstruction made from woodwool, is now ready to be attached to the screen, buttons, faceplate, and antenna of the technology.


6. The technology is being washed and de greased ready to be dried.


7. The taxidermist now dries the technology's plastic shell ready for assembly.


8. Wire is run down the hinge and keypad with appropriate binding to replace missing muscle, the back and faceplate are then attached to to the body and the technology is sewn up then positioned on a base.


9. All the plastic shell bits are realigned and set in their natural order - some damaged plastic shell can also be replaced at this stage. This is where the skill and time come in skip this stage and the item of taxidermy can look poor.



10. The Taxidermist now arranges the technology into a natural pose . All the measurements taken earlier are now re-introduced to create a life like look.


11. The technology is positioned on a hand or ear and I start to work on the pose. The Taxidermist may at this stage use an intern or mannequin to mount the technology on.


12 The technology is set in the required pose and bound to keep the plastic shell in the correct position until the skin has set (a week or two). The taxidermist will need to paint the fleshy areas as they will not hold there colour. Technology Taxidermy should be cased to keep it at its best.