Back in late 2005, while we were developing SFZero, I started temping for a company called GFE. It was through a family friend of Sam's instead of a temp agency, which was great for me because I was making $20/hr instead of the usual $12 that I made through a temp agency. The "office" was an empty apartment on the top floor of a building on Sacramento and Franklin. The CEO of GFE, Jack, lived in an apartment down the hall and had convinced the landlord to let us use this empty apartment while it was being redone.

Basically, my job was to consolidate all the stock from GFE's previous incarnation, VaporTek, and then reissue new stock in GFE to the investors. However, a large part of my job turned out to be organizing Jack's enormous amount of expensive bullshit for his upcoming move. Jack had the most crap I've ever seen. He had about 5 almost unused iPods, with maybe 100MB at most of music on each one. He never used them. But I couldn't throw away any of the shit for them (USB cables, chargers, etc.) - I had to sort them all into labelled plastic baggies and organize them so that Jack could find them easily if he needed them. I realized very early on that this was a Sisyphusian task, since if Jack didn't put all his shit away himself he would never be able to find it, no matter how well it was labelled. One of the worst things to go through was his wires. He had literally three milk crates full of unsorted wires in intense knots. I had to spend hours undoing the knots and sorting: S-Video Monster cable, DV monitor cable, phone wire, ethernet cable, S-Video to VGA, etc. etc. He had about 30-40 ethernet cables which I couldn't throw away or donate anywhere. I just had to bundle them up with zip ties and put them into like 10 ziploc freezer bags. He had three computers (HPs from Best Buy) which he used primarily to search for graphic gangbang porn, which he would leave open in Windows Media Player all the time.

OK, this is all kind of boring but it's good setup. When we went to get some stuff from Office Depot one day they were out of one item, and when the salesperson told him he said, "Thank you for managing my expectations." Another time, he was explaining to me how he is naturally an "ectomorph" and thus how "most of what you see here (gesturing to his upper body) is muscle." He told me that he took a professionally administered IQ test and that he's "one of the ten smartest people in North America."

We went to get lunch at a Jack-in-the-Box one day. We pulled up in his Jaguar, which was already kind of ridiculous. When he was paying his cash wad accidentally fell apart and he dropped about $2000 in $100 bills on the ground. I was looking down at him scrambling to pick up hundreds and I was just like, "Oh fuck, this is DIRTY. This is the bad life."

He took a ton of steroids and Human Growth Hormone, which he kept in a giant duffel bag that I kept having to move around while I was getting tech crap out of his closet. He told me that HGH made his penis grow an inch.

He was obsessed with the idea of me installing a wireless video camera surveillance network in and around his new house for him. He particularly wanted a camera in the bedroom and in his new wife's office to keep an eye on her.

I was helping him move into his new, gigantic, excessive house at this point. I was considering quitting but couldn't because I was still getting paid $20/hr and couldn't justify leaving just cause I hated the guy. But I came to hate him so, so much. Eventually the move was done and I stopped working for him. He didn't pay me the money he owed me for a pretty long time (like two months), and I had to really hassle him a lot to get him to pay. Finally I got my money and it was over.

IMAGINE MY JOY WHEN I FOUND OUT LAST WEEK THAT HE'S IN JAIL! He's been indicted for mail fraud, wire fraud and tax evasion. He embezzled over a million dollars from GFE. Here's the news story:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/05/12/BAGPNIQRGH12.DTL&hw=griffin&sn=001&sc=1000

A key excerpt:

Klaisle went on to document what she called Jack's "expensive lifestyle."

According to his associates, Jack rented the large home in Orinda, which doubled as his office; leased a Ferrari F355 F1 and a Mercedes CLS 500; bought his fiancee a $60,000 engagement ring; used $40,000 in company money to buy steroids and human growth hormone; and purchased suits, fine wine, high-end electronics, Super Bowl tickets and a trip to the plush Post Ranch Inn in Big Sur.

Jack allegedly stashed wads of cash in candles and Coke cans, and a former girlfriend told the FBI that he once told her, "Only idiots pay taxes."

JUSTICE!