15 + 122 points
Work is So Strange by Julian Muffinbot
July 26th, 2010 8:49 PM
I work as a customer service representative. In recent weeks, we have gotten quite a few calls from a murderer. At first, we just thought he was a regular guy trying to get his manuscript published (he kept asking for one of our editors). The calls would go something like this.
Me: "[Company greeting!]"
Caller: "Hi, this is Kobi. Can I speak to [editor]?"
Me: "One moment, let me see if she's there."
Me: "[Editor], you have another call from Kobi."
Editor: *siiiiigh* "I don't want to talk to him."
Me: "No problem."
Me: "I'm sorry, [Editor] is not available at the moment. Would you like to leave her a voicemail?"
Caller: "Aw, really? Again? She's never there, and she never returns my messages."
Me: "Well, unfortunately she is not there right now."
He always either agreed to leave a voicemail or said he'd call back later. And he did call back later. Many times.
One day a few weeks ago I overheard my coworker asking if "the murderer" had called again. "What murderer?" I said.
"That Kobi guy, who keeps calling for [editor]. Did you know he went crazy and killed his entire family?"
Whoa! I asked the editor for the guy's full name, and googled him. Turns out this was our guy, and his story is pretty fascinating:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1995-07-08/news/9507080120_1_insanity-defense-mental-health-legal-system
He was, in fact, trying to work with her on his manuscript, and she'd even been kind of interested at first, but eventually decided not to pursue the opportunity.
Just the calls from the murderer himself weren't even the strangest part of the whole thing. This was the strangest part:
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=336710
The above article describes how Kobi had recently escaped from a mental health center. But not just any mental health center. Kobi had escaped from the Elgin Mental Health Center, which actually holds a special place in the mythology of my roller derby team (under a slightly fictionalized name, the Elgin Mental Health Center for the Criminally Insane). The league's current marketing committee has changed some of the team mythology, so our old story is no longer up on our website, but back in the day, the story of the Manic Attackers was that we had all escaped from the Elgin Mental Health Center for the Criminally Insane before banding together as a derby team. My only proof of this is a badge that a friend of mine made (he made a variation on this for each member of the team that season):

This connection was really what makes this not only the strangest event of the past few weeks at work, but really, ever at work.
It beats out my two previous strangest work moments: the woman who emailed us to ask if our catalog cover that season (a photoshop of hamsters running in film reels in the same manner as they would in a hamster exercise wheel) was photographed using real hamsters, and if so, suggested that we definitely not do that again as it might hurt the hamsters; and the woman who emailed the following: "Hi, I'm wondering if you would like to publish my manuscript. It's a book of poems that were channeled to me by my cat when he died."
Me: "[Company greeting!]"
Caller: "Hi, this is Kobi. Can I speak to [editor]?"
Me: "One moment, let me see if she's there."
Me: "[Editor], you have another call from Kobi."
Editor: *siiiiigh* "I don't want to talk to him."
Me: "No problem."
Me: "I'm sorry, [Editor] is not available at the moment. Would you like to leave her a voicemail?"
Caller: "Aw, really? Again? She's never there, and she never returns my messages."
Me: "Well, unfortunately she is not there right now."
He always either agreed to leave a voicemail or said he'd call back later. And he did call back later. Many times.
One day a few weeks ago I overheard my coworker asking if "the murderer" had called again. "What murderer?" I said.
"That Kobi guy, who keeps calling for [editor]. Did you know he went crazy and killed his entire family?"
Whoa! I asked the editor for the guy's full name, and googled him. Turns out this was our guy, and his story is pretty fascinating:
http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1995-07-08/news/9507080120_1_insanity-defense-mental-health-legal-system
He was, in fact, trying to work with her on his manuscript, and she'd even been kind of interested at first, but eventually decided not to pursue the opportunity.
Just the calls from the murderer himself weren't even the strangest part of the whole thing. This was the strangest part:
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=336710
The above article describes how Kobi had recently escaped from a mental health center. But not just any mental health center. Kobi had escaped from the Elgin Mental Health Center, which actually holds a special place in the mythology of my roller derby team (under a slightly fictionalized name, the Elgin Mental Health Center for the Criminally Insane). The league's current marketing committee has changed some of the team mythology, so our old story is no longer up on our website, but back in the day, the story of the Manic Attackers was that we had all escaped from the Elgin Mental Health Center for the Criminally Insane before banding together as a derby team. My only proof of this is a badge that a friend of mine made (he made a variation on this for each member of the team that season):

This connection was really what makes this not only the strangest event of the past few weeks at work, but really, ever at work.
It beats out my two previous strangest work moments: the woman who emailed us to ask if our catalog cover that season (a photoshop of hamsters running in film reels in the same manner as they would in a hamster exercise wheel) was photographed using real hamsters, and if so, suggested that we definitely not do that again as it might hurt the hamsters; and the woman who emailed the following: "Hi, I'm wondering if you would like to publish my manuscript. It's a book of poems that were channeled to me by my cat when he died."
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foecake, chicago5 comment(s)
posted by Togashi Ni on July 27th, 2010 12:31 PM
I'm kinda interested in those poems.. what would a cat poem look like?
Ode to a mouse:
Meow, meow... meow?
meeeeooowww meoww meowow; - meow
meeeeeowwwwowwww
*lick*
posted by rongo rongo on July 27th, 2010 2:32 PM
No actual hamsters were harmed during the writing of this comment.
These stories almost (almost) make me want your job!
But then I remember that I'd have to talk to people...