So Dr. Awkward and Young Cain spent a lovely day bouncing aorund the city, playing on the concrete slides in Noe Valley, eating burgers, and decided to venture to Dr. Awkward's lair to partake in tea and the great film American Beauty.
Somewhere in the house, possibly once living in the christmas tree before it was removed, was a ghost. He was not the spooky kind at all, but rather, bored and a bit lonely. So he began coversating with the two of them. His name was Roscoe, and he was once a famous gambler who shut down many casinos in Los Vegas until he died of diabetes. This was because he was a chocololic. He ate chocolate before every game and after every game for good luck. He was lucky until the charm wore him thin, then did him in. Roscoe, before he died, was miserable: he never owned a tophat. He believed he could do a great many things in his tophat, wow all the ladies, get the VIP treatment at parties, find out where the ants were getting in through in his kitchen (which was a dreadful nuisance in the wintertime, not that he worried about it now.) Dr. Awkward and Young Cain looked at each other, and resolved they would make him his beloved tophat. Inspired by the playing cards and the chocolate (as they too, were chocoholics, although not so avidly) they spent the night with playing cards, candy wrappers, Roscoe, and American Beauty.