Day One: Haircut

This may not seem like a big deal, but actually this is probably the thing that scared me the most. As you can see from my profile picture, I have very long hair. The last time I went in to a hairstylist for a trim, she told me "I'll have to take off about an inch", and then chopped off between two and three inches. In the two years since then, I haven't cut my hair at all. Finally, the ends got so split and janky that I had to give in. Between the fear of losing my hard-earned hair, and the fear of giving over the power to trim it to someone else (my ever-patient partner in crime took up the scissors for the cause), I was downright freaking out while waiting for the first snip. Fear-sweat and everything.


It wasn't as bad as I though it would be.

Day Two: Deliberate wrong number

A lot of these are stranger-related. I suck at strangers. My original list of ideas for this proof closely resembled the homework I got when I was in therapy for my social anxiety. I also hate phones. So calling a stranger on the phone was a no-brainer for the fear quotient. I dialed my old cell phone number, but in my new area code (because my brother has that number in my old area code, and he's much less scary) I did get all queasy when the phone was ringing...but then it kept ringing...and ringing...and eventually I gave up. I am sort of curious as to who has a phone with no answering machine and then fails to answer it. I have not gotten a call back from this person or persons.

Day Three: Scene of the accident

You may recall from my first task that two of my friends were killed in November while crossing the street. Other than the first week or two, when I went to leave flowers, I've been assiduously avoiding the intersection. Hell, the whole street. There's a big area of my City that I've been too...something to visit.

I drove through the intersection, parked, crossed the street, crossed back, and drove through it the other way. I'm not sure if I felt fear, exactly, leading up to this. I sort of flipped between afraid and sad/upset. When I was crossing the street the second time and I saw a car that might not stop for me, that was 100% fear for sure. Afterward, driving home, I mostly felt sick. I'm proud that I went there, though.


Day Four: Night walk, jaywalking

Closely related I haven't gone on a walk after dark in some months. I also jaywalk less. So, in the spirit of facing my fears, I took a spin around the block, and jaywalked back and forth. (I was wearing a light, and took care about oncoming cars. The intent is scary, not dangerous, and I'm cautious as hell about these things now.)



I saw two people with traffic cones on their head on my jaunt. It seemed sort of like a reward.

Day Five: Applied for job

This one scares me more in an existential kind of way. An "oh my god, what am I doing with my life?" kind of way. Because in order to apply for a job, I have to think about my prospects, and whether I really have fallen so far as to apply for a job at a self-service dog wash, and whether my resume is actually not good enough even for that.

It's less a scary-movie, jump-out-of-your-seat fear, and more a lie-awake-at-night fear. A grownup fear. I would like to lodge a complaint about adulthood.

Day Six: More wrong number

Since I didn't get through the first time, I tried again. This time, I dialed my parent's old phone number, in my new area code. I got an answering machine, which gave me a tiny heart attack when I heard the person's recording of his name ("Jason Xxxx" ~is not available. Please leave a message~ etc etc) and thought he was picking up. But no. I did not leave a message. Calling was scary enough.

Day Seven: Correspond With A Spammer

I have been too afraid to do this task for some time. I mean, what if they email me back?!

So I nutted up, for SF0 and glory, and responded to the Nigerian spam email I got recently. I will probably wait to see if they get back to me before posting this as its own task.


"The fact that I am seriously considering putting a bug in my mouth scares me."