SF0 / roadscholar / Basic Parkour

25 + 86 points

Basic Parkour by Road Scholar

December 19th, 2010 5:20 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: Learn basic parkour.

Document yourself learning and employing it. Be careful !

Parkour! Oh, what a word. I count it among the treasures of the academic discourse you know me for; the comparative study of our peoples. While you have only known me thus far, more or less, as a merchant of foreign styles, I suppose I have failed to elaborate upon the source of my funding.

You see, my avocation is Humanity, but my employers are not. My research grants are premised upon the value of cultural goods I can, more or less, translate and make accessible to all of Strobility. In rough parallel to the wage-earning sentrys we post at places of technological interest in Human society (construction, transportation, and the occasional safety-and-hygiene procedural investigation site), I am ultimately regarded for my observational prowess. That I enjoy reflecting on my own peoples, and describing our way of life and the stark contrasts of my upbringing to you is of no consequence to my job description.

This brings me, in my usual prolix manner, to this praxis. Today I share with you the results of my work. I learned basic parkour so that I might teach it to other cones. Some of the techniques needed to be modified due to our differences in physiology, but among all human physical endeavors, I have happened upon nothing so well suited to our physiology as parkour. I wrote up my findings in a usual and academic manner, suggesting the rehabilitative medical benefits of this aerobic activity, the job-safety benefits of training in these methods of traversing human environments, and perhaps even the psychologically soothing effects of interacting with human architecture (which has a strange conceit to parallelograms) in a way which embraces the intersection of conical and angular forms.

But I don't truly care about that. I find my academic guise atypically ill-befits me in this endeavor, as I can only imagine this will be a craze among athletic youths in no time; professional worth be damned. I can hardly think of appropriately adulatory phrases for the experience. It is fun!

Oh, to Kong! There is hardly a simpler locomotive joy, except perhaps to Kong again immediately thereafter.

So to the (perhaps only slight) extent I have dispatched with words in favor of action in embracing this praxis

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I perhaps ought to note that I have chosen to include a song I found quite phloxsome during my exercise, which has some personal significance. You see, as a wet-behind-the-base young student I first governed the ship of my life leewards of my expected career choice (a nautical deployment of some sort) by breaking Homestar Runner in Strobile circles. Next thing you know, I am anindefinite chair of human studies. While I must admit I chose to song for nostalgic purposes, to feel youthful as I hurled through the air with abandon, let us continue under the pretense that this song was included to further convey to you all the dual-role I play, by emphasizing the time I spend explaining your world to my people as well.

This has been the Road Scholar, reminding you to watch your step, mind the gap, and when your find yourself on that grand road of life; take it slow.

- smaller

Parkour