Free Food Diet by Soren THREEdux
April 2nd, 2008 4:56 PM / Location: 37.971378,-122.0707Food me.
So from the beginning of this task, I decided not to rely on handouts or begging for my sustenance. I wanted to let the natural cityscape and it's urban food resources dictate my diet, restricting myself to not just free food, but found food. I started out at the Lady's house in San Ramon, and my journey took me to the streets, a park, and eventually my school. Finding food was a good adventure, but a bit harder than I thought it'd be. The city landscape isn't very dense around San Ramon/Pleasant Hill, but I still managed to find some interesting food sources. The foods that I ended up finding, including their respective locations, are as follows:
+Tangerines - in the Lady's backyard. These delicious tangerines were the first of several foods I tried. Juicy and fresh, they were very satisfying.
I took Indiana for a walk next
and we went to the park. We found many things, including some free water, but the next things I ate were
+Rose Hips - near the street on the way home. Rose hips are very high in vitamin C, and can keep you alive and free of scurvy in survival situations. These were also very palatable.
We also encountered
+Rosemary - growing next to the sidewalk on the way home. I tried eating this stuff, but there's a reason it's a seasoning and not a salad green.
The next events are sort of a blur, but somehow I got to school (Diablo Valley College in Pleasant Hill). I had a while until rehearsal, so I decided to do some recon and found oranges near the back of the horticulture area. I didn't eat them because there were classes going on, and I didn't want to disturb them. I noted their location for later. I did however find some
+Dandelion Greens - near the arena theatre. These were very sustaining, if a bit bitter. They're very healthy and come packed with nutrients.
I had to go to rehearsal a little later, but that didn't last long. I waited for night to fall, and then did some more exploring around the horticulture section. I was bitterly disappointed, finding mostly beatiful ornamental plants that I couldn't eat. I did however find my way back to those
+Oranges - in the back of the horticulture area. They were mostly green, a fact I failed to note in my haste. I ate one and it was good, if a little underripe. The rest weren't ripe enough to eat. My food journey came to an end after I discovered some
+Lay's Potato Chips - in the trash. 'Trash,' you say? 'How foul!'? Well...when you're hungry, you're hungry. And if you take a look at some of the pictures below, you may think only slightly less of me, instead of a whole lot less. Enjoy!
Adventure begins
I arrive at the Lady's house, hungry for adventure! ...and some food too.
Tangerine Dream (Citrus reticulata)
Citrus at it's best
Picking fruit:
It's a very involved process, but this one looks good.
NSFW
Naked tangerines!
REALLY NSFW!
My tongue is a tangerine! I had no lascivious intentions while taking this picture, but it turns out tangerines are just sexy.
What a handsome fellow!
This is Indiana. He's a dog.
!
Any Star Trek fan or Chrononautic Exxon member should know that this is a serious warning sign.
Lamb's Ear (Stachys byzantia)
While not edible, lamb's ear is great to touch.
Athan Downs
San Ramon Parkery
What did you find Indiana?
He smells something...
!
Something else captured his attention
:)
Doggy smile!
Free water!
Delicious and clear, a sparkling example for all park water.
Cherry Plum (Prunus cerasifera)
This cherry plum tree looked beatiful, but had no fruit to yield.
Hmm...
Indiana smells something, but I see something even more curious; this appears to be a yellowy-white color morph of the California poppy (Eschscholzia californica), possibly a subspecies.
Check out those hips!
Rose hips, that is. Since the genus Rosa is so diverse, it's beyond my knowledge of plants to identify this species.
But wait! There's more...
...the hips are not only edible, they're also very palatable. The inner seed-like structures and fine hairs should be discarded, leaving the fleshy red outer part to eat. Very high in vitamin C, these were arguably the best tasting food I had all day.
Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis)
This herb is very tasty mixed into things.
Close up!
The fresh green part, visible in the lower section of the last picture.
Hmm...
Looks tasty enough...
Mmm...
Huh...that's not half bad!
Just so you know,
there is a very real reason rosemary is a seasoning...
!
...and not a salad green. I had to spit it out after a few seconds.
Recon!
My initial scout around the backside of the horticulture section...
Close up!
...revealed delicious citrus! Classes were still going on, so I decided to come back later.
Dandelion (Taraxacum officinale)
The common dandelion has many different forms, but these ones looked a bit taller and healthier than the standard lawn variety.
Greens!
The greens are basically wonder food. They have a bitter taste when eaten raw, but contain more iron and calcium than spinach, and more beta-carotene than carrots. And they're free!
A dandelion washing station...
...cleverly disguised as a men's room.
This was awkward.
There was a guy peeing right over there (--->) as I was taking pictures of myself washing "weeds" off in the sink.
Just outside
I decided to give him some privacy and dry my greens outside.
Feasting!
I look a little ridiculous in this picture, but I felt the standard arm-length MySpace shot was getting a little played.
Keyword?
"Ornamental". I would find this out later, much to my chagrin.
Scouting!
My secondary recon of the horticulture section...what goodies lay inside?
Night Photography?
Multi-tasking is fun.
An opening!?
Alas, it was very small. I couldn't fit.
Disobedient Nature?
Trees refuse to yield!
Can you say 'jackpot'?
I sure can. I can also say Trespassing.
So many plants!
But can I eat any of them?
Y'know,
this is a pretty awesome Distribution of Potted Plants, wouldn't you say?
Argh!
What can I eat!?
!
Damnitall!
Sweet!
Eventually I went back around to my citrus spot from before, and harvested some oranges (Citrus sinensis).
My 'take'.
I 'took' them.
These ones were too green to eat...
...and I'm still hungry! The agony!
A trash can.
I threw my orange rinds into this, only to discover...
?
What's all this?
Food fodder?
Those chips look suspiciously well protected...
Egad!
They're pristine!
Wait!
Think about this. Are you about to eat food from the fucking trash? Seriously?
Back from whence you came!
To the trash I found you in!
Seriously? Trash?
Please.
Well, when you're REALLY hungry...
I found out later that my friend had thrown the chips away, and that they were in fact pristine. And I was hungry.
Mmmm
If I look like a food starved madman in these photos, it's because I am.
The end of my journey
This is me, caught unawares. Enjoying my chips.
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(none yet)12 comment(s)
less of you?? MORE of you! You are savage! In a fantastic MacGyver sort of way.
Wonderful write-up. Your comic timing with the photos and captions was very enjoyable.
Fantastic. Fun to have some time getting peeks at your inner monologue.
Soren, I haven't seen you in days man!
I think we need to set up a SF0 Cap the flag night...
and also, that tree growing into the fence, there was a task that said "Show nature refusing to yield" or something of that nature...
Great completion man!
EDIT: You got a Scienceguru vote... If Phil were still state-side, and active, he'd be hard-core jealous, cause I am. BTW I'm sending him a packet with the tasks and what not, so he can task on his mission, he may be active yet!
Full of win.
"EDIT: You got a Scienceguru vote".
- grin - The true seal of approval.
Actually, yeah. Well-done and genuinely interesting. Biomic, too.
@ The Actor: Make sure you send him the one about 'The Odyssey'. He is Odysseus, after all.
I have done this task, and I have done it very big, but I have qualms about submitting because I have no proof and if I did submit I'd have to LEWL it. But it's epic. I dunno...
You should do it dude. I plan on completing this again, on a very different (read: bigger, better, more bizzare) scale. Perhaps in the summer when my commitments are less pressing...
Anywho, I'd love to see a Lincoln completion of this task. I say go for it, if you've got the time/intestinal fortitude.
EDIT: And thank you for the kind words!
This is crazy awesome.
And Lincoln, go and LEWL it up, you know we love it ;)
OK. LEWL completion it is then. Here you go.
kapow!