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Daniel Beaulieu
Level 2: 98 points
Last Logged In: December 3rd, 2012
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Saucy Tales by Daniel Beaulieu

September 6th, 2012 4:25 PM

INSTRUCTIONS: Every ancient condiment in the back of your fridge is a tale of neglect and abandonment. Tell us yours.

I bought this cocktail sauce in January when I got some shrimp. I haven't bought shrimp since. The sauce goes bad in October 2012. The coupon around the neck of the bottle expired in April 2012. I'll just keep this in my fridge unused till about November and then go buy a new one...

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(no subject)
posted by Amoeba Man on September 7th, 2012 5:11 AM

This is a good start, but I think it could stand a little more fleshing out. I'd like to hear more about this sauce, what the deal is with it. Why were you buying shrimp? Why haven't you bought shrimp since? What is the coupon for? Were there special circumstances surrounding the purchase of the sauce? Why not buy some shrimp and eat the sauce? Were dinosaurs involved at all? Snakes? How does it smell? Where in the fridge was it? There's a story here, and I'd love to hear it!

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posted by relet 裁判長 on September 8th, 2012 10:53 PM

The probability of the sauce going bad in October is minimal.

(no subject)
posted by Daniel Beaulieu on November 30th, 2012 2:23 PM

I think I bought shrimp once--when I bought it. I guess I was under the delusion that I was gonna eat a lot of shrimp. My pockets could've told me I wasn't. Dinosaurs and snakes were not involved.