I hadn't expected to get lost that early in the day. It was about half past six and I was trying to find my way to Oakland. The BART network is pretty intricate on the other side of the bay. Over here it looks like the Champs-Elysees, over there it resembles Medusa's head.

About two hundred people were already there when I arrived at the amphitheatre, some of them stretching, heel to buttock, reverence for the race part of the game. I decided to focus on the scavenger hunt part for now and picked up a map. So, this is what Oakland looks like. And they have a lake! Nice.

Then I put on the green ribbon by myself using one hand and my teeth. I felt a little bit like a heroin addict.

The flag dropped and I opted for the paranoid route and left the amphitheatre with two dozen other runners, who were also basically running away from the first checkpoint - into a quiet residential neighbourhood. With hills. Would possession of a topographic map of Oakland have been considered cheating? I had to think of the Germans in Douglas Adams's "Last Chance to See" and smirked on my way up the hill. They would have brought one.

From the top of the last hill I crossed the highway and safely made it down into the Amphitheatre of Roses. No chasers so far, but there were rumours that they did exist.

The scene in the rose garden was - in one word - adorable. A table, fortune tellers amidst runners amidst roses, the advice to look for unlikely fishermen. I sat down and watched and after a short while a smile bubbled up from somewhere deep inside me, right onto my face.

On my way out I noticed a co-ed restroom. Damn! Are the Oaklanders out-SF-ing us?

I remained true to my strategy of evasion and ran away from the second checkpoint - right into, deja-vu, a quiet residential neighbourhood. Oakland seems to have its fair share of them. Or I was walking in circles. But no, this time it was one without hills. But with stairs instead. With apocalyptically steep stairs. And with curious people. A couple of them asked me what the occasion was. "A game of tag - like what your governor did in "Running Man"," I said, because "metaphysical experience" always sounds a little pretentious.

The next party of curious people were yelling from a distance at somebody I couldn't see. Apparently this somebody was hiding behind a car. They could see him, I couldn't. In other words: He was hiding from me. Get it? Of course you do. But I didn't. Embarrassing? Yes. These quiet residential neighbourhoods just feel too safe.

It was over pretty fast. He jumped out from behind the car and came running towards me. I looked into his eyes, I raised my arm so that he could clearly see my green ribbon, I shouted "FROM MY COLD DEAD HANDS," and then laughed madly while I effortlessly ran away.

Well, at least almost. In fact, I didn't even move or do anything at all. I was just too surprised. And I really should have known better. "Twin Peaks" should have taught me that quiet and peaceful places are never what they seem. What then helped a little was his claim to have caught ten other runners prior to catching me. But then again, maybe this is what he told everyone in order to make us feel better.

This was the moment that changed - nothing. I didn't even really feel like catching any of the friendly runners. I did, however, feel like seeing the other checkpoints. All of them. So I went to the fisherman and his slightly capricious companion first, had a surprisingly tasty peanut butter broccoli sandwich and lemonade after that, saw Theseus fight the Minotaur, and then headed towards the water.

I've always wanted to use the words "serene," "beautiful," and "sublime" in a single sentence. And checkpoint five is best described by them. It was my favourite. What a wondrous idea! The light, the water, the lovingly created studies, the doppelgänger - I could barely speak a word. It was just overwhelming. And so I simply sat down and enjoyed silently watching a group of runners working together to find the differences between the two sides of the scene - and contemplating why I didn't do these things more often.

After a long while I got up again and walked over to the next checkpoint where I learned that it might have been wiser to get a signature at each checkpoint. But maybe it was just a rumour.

I finally reached the finish line just in time to applaud the first runner to arrive. I stood there for a while and listened to the follow-up runners who explained their sophisticated strategies. It was fascinating. After listening to them I wouldn't have been surprised to hear somebody elaborate on how he had enlisted the assistance of satellite reconnaissance or something as impressive.

Good God! I felt like such a rookie that night. But also like a damn happy rookie.