75 + 114 points
Secret Wall Tattoos by zer0gee
February 4th, 2009 4:52 PM
I went in completely prepared to do this task - or so I thought. I brought along two screwdrivers (standard and Phillips) in case screws needed removing, and three Sharpies. When I was waiting in line at the front desk, I noticed a sign that told guests the hotel was in the process of being remodeled. I thought about this for a minute, since my name and address would be connected to the room, and if they found my art during the remodeling process, they might be able to trace it back to me, especially if my room was remodeled shortly after my stay. I decided this probably wouldn't make much difference, since they would be refinishing the walls anyway, and who knew when the last time they checked behind stuff in any of the rooms?
I needn't have worried - the clerk assigned me to one of the rooms that had already been remodeled. Such a horror! No more carpets - they had been replaced by some disgusting laminated wood flooring. I'm sure this is far easier to clean, but it looks and feels institutional. The furniture was IKEA spartan, in an alarming bright orange and tan color scheme, and all huddled together in one corner of the room. I've read that a lot of hotels are being built with a sort of urban loft, hipster-ish feel, but this is NOT what I look for in a hotel. The fabrics were coarse and the furniture unwelcoming, though the bed was comfortable. And absolutely everything was bolted down! I began to regret not choosing the independently-owned, old-school Tower Motel down the street - but I've stayed there before, and wanted a new experience.
In the bathroom, there was a sleek Moen faucet in a chic raised basin on a shiny black marble counter, and an ugly yellow towel thing. Ugh. It reminded me of storage cubbies in kindergarten. However, it DID come off the wall! I unplugged its attached light fixture and lifted it off its hooks, set it aside, and got to drawing. But
This task seemed so simple, so fun and subversive. But I could not have imagined that they have designed motel rooms that will sap you of your creative energy with their hideous decor, give you little space in which to draw, and where the very walls will gnaw on your art supplies. I feel drained, yet mostly victorious.
I needn't have worried - the clerk assigned me to one of the rooms that had already been remodeled. Such a horror! No more carpets - they had been replaced by some disgusting laminated wood flooring. I'm sure this is far easier to clean, but it looks and feels institutional. The furniture was IKEA spartan, in an alarming bright orange and tan color scheme, and all huddled together in one corner of the room. I've read that a lot of hotels are being built with a sort of urban loft, hipster-ish feel, but this is NOT what I look for in a hotel. The fabrics were coarse and the furniture unwelcoming, though the bed was comfortable. And absolutely everything was bolted down! I began to regret not choosing the independently-owned, old-school Tower Motel down the street - but I've stayed there before, and wanted a new experience.
In the bathroom, there was a sleek Moen faucet in a chic raised basin on a shiny black marble counter, and an ugly yellow towel thing. Ugh. It reminded me of storage cubbies in kindergarten. However, it DID come off the wall! I unplugged its attached light fixture and lifted it off its hooks, set it aside, and got to drawing. But
NO
, the room tried to thwart me again! The newly refinished walls were done in a glossy white stucco - so slick that the ink didn't adhere very well, so sharp and chunky that it almost immediately shredded the tip of the marker. Sharpies are pretty tough, in my experience, but I went through ALL THREE just to get the image you see in the photo below. Ground them down to the plastic casing. Left shreds of Sharpie felt tip all over the counter. The wall ate my markers, but I managed to get my message across.This task seemed so simple, so fun and subversive. But I could not have imagined that they have designed motel rooms that will sap you of your creative energy with their hideous decor, give you little space in which to draw, and where the very walls will gnaw on your art supplies. I feel drained, yet mostly victorious.
27 vote(s)
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votemore, machine, poetry7 comment(s)
posted by Kim Kirk on February 4th, 2009 10:42 PM
I'm new to this... Thanks to your well documented completed task, I now feel like an idiot. I jumped into the game like a cracked out poodle, eager to get my belly rubbed. In my excitment, i ended up pee'in on the floor. Bummer deal... I hope no one rubs my nose in it.
posted by Fiona on February 5th, 2009 12:56 AM
Yay for you. It is an ugly room. Shame you couldn't leave your art out in the open, would have improved the place!
posted by Philippe on February 9th, 2009 1:01 PM
I love the message/placement interaction.
posted by Kassitastrophe on March 5th, 2009 3:30 AM
and when i was reading your description (before i saw the pictures) i was like...hey, that kinda sounds like it looks cool. Then i saw it. You were right all along (duh) that it looks like poop.
effort! gears! thwarting hideous modern design! gears!