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The Charlatan
Trickster
Level 4: 377 points
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Last Logged In: August 22nd, 2024
TEAM: CGØ TEAM: The Society For Figuring Out How To Get Those Damn Badges TEAM: Rescue pixie EquivalenZ Rank 3: Protocologist Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 2: Trickster
10 + 54 points

Death Kava by The Charlatan

July 11th, 2011 4:37 PM / Location: 41.938810,-87.64447

INSTRUCTIONS: Eat a food that frightens you.

So I saw this challenge and thought "Is there really any kind of food that frightens me?"

Well, certain textures and tastes really put me off, but nothing that goes so far as to drive dread into my burning heart.

Today I was treated to a lovely lunch at Hatsu Hana, one of Chicago's best restaurants for sushi. I love me some sushi. It is delicious, if sometimes a bit expensive; I never turn down sushi. I am a huge fan of yellowtail, tuna, tempura, and oh yeah I should probably explain what sushi is for those who don't know.

Sushi is a Japanese food consisting of rice and some other ingredients, often sliced fish and sometimes condiments like spicy mayo and tobiko, which are tiny colorful fish eggs. Sushi is often prepared as much for presentation as for taste and most chefs are a delight to watch, especially when they use a butane torch to sear certain types of rolls. Sushi often comes in rolls; the rice and ingredients are usually wrapped in seaweed or rice paper. Sushi is tasty.

Back to tobiko. It's fish eggs. Tiny colorful fish eggs. They come from flying fish. Sometimes other kinds of sushi have other kinds of fish eggs. Sometimes they are bigger. Like Salmon roe. Salmon eggs are about the size of currants or tiny grapes. And I imagined they would taste like the insides of a fish. Even worse, I imagined that they would make it down my throat and into my guts where they would hatch, but instead of salmon, these guys would get loose and start swimming around in there.

PacificViperfishAP072.jpg
Now that's some scary shit, as the kids say these days.


So I was challenged by my date to eat the Ikura. The Salmon roe. The deadly viperfish eggs that would hatch deadly viperfish inside of me and cause deadly viperfish to eat their way out of my small intestines.

My date was kind enough to document the defeat of yet another of my horrible viperfish-based fears.



Oh, and it tasted like the insides of a fishbelly.

- smaller

Ikura.jpg

Ikura.jpg

That's salmon roe on rice, wrapped in seaweed.


Eggs.jpg

Eggs.jpg

Salmon roe is fish eggs. Look closely. There are wee baby fish within. Waiting to be unleashed in your stomach.


Psyche.jpg

Psyche.jpg

Time for some serious preparation. I invoke my Divinity and prepare my tongue for the onslaught.


Assault.jpg

Assault.jpg

That's when the smell hit me. Like fishbelly. The inside of the fishbelly.


Eugh.jpg

Eugh.jpg

It's like a fish ate another fish and then threw up in my mouth.


Will.jpg

Will.jpg

So part of the test was chewing it. Oh god. The chewing.


AndThenIWept.jpg

AndThenIWept.jpg

Yeah, my eyes teared up a bit. It was so bad.


Evidence.jpg

Evidence.jpg

I think the lovely glass dish they brought the hideous thing out on really helped to class it up.


Fight.jpg

Fight.jpg

I really wanted to spit it out. Really.


Complete.jpg

Complete.jpg

Let's not do that again.



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3 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by relet 裁判長 on July 11th, 2011 8:10 PM

Vote for excellent prose (and some nasty eggs).

(no subject) +2
posted by N Mutans on July 12th, 2011 6:36 PM

They don't just taste like fishbelly, they also taste like raw egg yolk. I think you need to eat a raw chicken's egg yolk, then have some more salmon roe. It wouldn't do to miss the nuances.

(no subject)
posted by The Charlatan on November 19th, 2011 2:12 PM

Stop trying to kill me.