Critical Mass.

People ride for all sorts of reason. I ride because I like to ride bikes. I think it is fun to ride around with my friends and to ride in places where it wouldn't normally be safe. I do think that generally our population is wasteful with the use of cars but I'm not a car hater. I just prefer bikes for most trips around town.

Here in San Francisco there is a long history of Critical Mass. There have been books written on the topic. While a part of the ride I've been able to bicycle places which I don't care to mention on the internet. It usually feels like a really fun party... but sometimes there is some strife.

As an orator, I long ago took it upon myself to not only share my smart ass opinions with the crowd, but attempt to assuage some of the strife between the vehicles and the bicycles.

I wear a bullhorn to every Critical Mass which I attend and use it with regularity. The siren is particularly helpful when going very quickly down the steep hills of the city (Sorry Mom). I help to suggest routes which I think will be pleasing to the participants. And I try to inform the non-cycling masses as to what is happening.

I regularly make this Public Service Announcement to long long lines of cars:


"Ladies and Gentlemen,

Your attention please.

This is a public service announcement.

You may be wondering "What's going on right now?!"
Well you're experiencing Critical Mass.

It happens the last Friday of the month every month here in San Francisco.

At this time you have a couple options. You can sit in your car, get really mad, honk your horn, and flip us off.

Or you can sit back relax and enjoy the show.

With the current price of gasoline at over four dollars we suggest turning off your engines for a moment... as gasoline is very expensive.

We appreciate your patience.

And once again this is Critical Mass.

Have a good night."



If you live in or near San Francisco, I urge you to come to Critical Mass. It's quite a lovely time... even with the smart ass on the bullhorn and his blaring PSAs.