Down with Animate Elitism! by Herbie Hatman
October 15th, 2007 6:05 PMThere was a brief time in my university years in which Beau did not sleep in my bed with me. Aside from those tragic times he has shared my bed with me consistently.
His 'bearthday' is on Easter. I was four. He was a gift from my sister. Immediately there was a connection. He came to me with a tag that said "Hello, my name is Beau". Only years later did I realize the irony of a small boy in the bay area walking around introducing his bear as Beau. My parents never said anything about it, and my sister was just oblivious that the bear she's given to me was imbued with a name for a male lover.
None-the-less Beau and I shared and continue to share an intimate relationship. He has been present for all goings on in my various beds. He has traveled to distant lands with me.
Though Beau is deeply anthropomorphized his life is an inanimate one. And though he is inanimate the relationship which I have cultivated with him is quite intimate.
Beau in bed.
His first.
Beau and I sharing his first "bearthday".* *Note that I am hold him up due to his inanimateness.
13 vote(s)
Fonne Tayne
5
Scarlett
5
YellowBear
5
The Vixen
5
Jellybean of Thark
5
Lincøln
5
lara black
5
anna one
5
JJason Recognition
5
visivo
5
Myrna Minx
5
Blue
5
Kid A
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(none yet)14 comment(s)
Does that mean i get to have a bear-thday party too!!!!!!!! We can have cake and Jack Daniels and tasking!!!(despite my recent comments in regard to my feeling on retro-tasks, how can I not support this?!?)
I feel like i just learned about christmas! ( which coincidentally I now find out is evil )
Here is Pinky, my first bear. He's a boy. I think I got him at the age of 3 from a faux aunt named Edith. Can he come to the bear-thday party?
My bear that I had from birth until after college was named Buffy. I got made fun of when I was young for having a girl bear that I slept with every night. Kids are dumb. Bears are awesome.
People thought I was weird since I decided that my pink bear was a boy. I told them to fudge off.
Where is Buffy now?
Bah!
Never saw the point of bears. I mean, just *try* to bring a real bear to bed with you. Ain't gonna be pretty. Just ask any park ranger. You'll wake up to find a big gaping bloody hole where you used to keep your kidneys.
Dogs, now, that's another story. Dogs I could understand. Cuddle with real dogs during the day, cuddle with stuffed dogs (and real dogs) during the night.
A stuffed dog, that's the animal for me. Had mine since I was four. (Had my mother's since I was even younger, but she's mighty fragile and not meant for rough play.)
If you make it an animalversary party rather than a bearthday party, I'm in. (I guess ol' Toby is of legal age now, so he can partake in the Jack Daniels too.)
Er.... Pinky isn't of age... Can we sneak him in?
Loki, you're just bitter. That's all.
I had a stuffed zeppelin called Blimpy as a child. I cried and cried when I thought I'd lost it once. I wonder what happened to it...
hmm...I had a little stuffed shark. He was really cute.
I wonder what that says about me?
Loki: "Never saw the point of bears."
- Ouch. You better watch your mouth
Where is Buffy now?
I lost Buffy in one of my many moves after college. There was one move where all I took with me was one backpack full of clothes, my 'puter, and my car.
But now I have every season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on DVD. Not quite as nice to sleep on at night, but a bit more entertaining. I call it a trade off.
I had a stuffed stegosaurus. He was blue, though his thagomizers were not.
STEGOZAURUS BISHER
""Der Stegozaurus ist der grösste bisher entdeckte Stacheldino""
this proof has it all; teddy bears, double entendres, and puns...vote vote vote.
So when is this animal/bear/dog/shark/zeppelin/dinosaur tea party going down???
i vote for any sort of bear-thday party.