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Herbie Hatman
Level 3: 304 points
Alltime Score: 4153 points
Last Logged In: December 22nd, 2015
BADGE: INTERREGNUM TEAM: San Francisco Zero TEAM: Public Library Zero BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 1: Commuter Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 1: Anti


45 + 210 points

Joke-A-Thon by Herbie Hatman, Myrna Minx

February 16th, 2008 7:20 PM / Location: 38.633428,-90.20098

INSTRUCTIONS: Spend one day telling jokes to people all day. Not over the internet, but in person (using the phone counts). You must tell at least 10 different jokes over the course of your day, and you may only tell one joke per person you encounter. As they say, the more, the merrier.

Document your exploits well.

Ten? Really? Spend a day telling jokes and tell at least ten?

I've been telling jokes to strangers since I was a child. When I was a young teenager I would go up to strangers and tell them "I'll tell you a joke for a quarter." and there started my career as a street performer. I made a lot of quarters.

When I read this task I thought about how I supposed that not everyone knew ten jokes. Many people can't seem to remember one joke. In my head I started to review the list of jokes I most commonly tell . "What do you call a fish with no eye?... Fsh." "Did you hear about the fire at the circus?... It was intents." The list continues, but as it does so the length of the jokes get longer. I thought about by the end of the day being forced to finally tell my "Johnny Loves Clowns" joke. It takes about a half an hour when told well.

Before my trip to St. Louis started I was packing books to read. I saw the text above. 101 Pickle Jokes by Bob Vlasic. Again, I thought of this task. I wasn't sure how I was going to go about it, but I knew that the book would be the foundation for the task.

Then Miss Mryna Minx declared that we would be attending City Museum. I will digress to say that it is amazing. A real gem. I won't go into the details how how this place may seem out of context in a place like St. Louis, but I'll instead advocate that if you are ever anywhere near this place that you should make it a point to go. It's three stories of grown ups and kids playing in on and around some of the most delightful environments. The photos do it no justice. Go. Seriously.

Now with with the pickle joke book in hand we were off for the museum. Let me give you some insight into the book. It's from 1974. It's mostly all horrible. Some of the jokes were only understandable by people who were alive in the time it was written (which neither Myrna nor I were). At the end of this praxis I will list a few of the better (worse?) jokes from the book.

Before we entered the museum Myrna and I ripped the book in half. We decided that we would make it a competition to see who could finish first. It was a challenge to be distracted by the wonderful surroundings and also focus on telling people really really bad pickle jokes and feigning as though we really thought they were funny.

The variety of people who we encountered was indeed quite varied. Kids and grown-ups. Young children and senior citizens. All sorts of economic backgrounds and varied ethnicities. We learned that most everyone will politely laugh at a pickle joke told to them by a stranger.

We encountered two different wedding parties.

Three people told us jokes in return.

One lady even owned the same exact pickle book. This resulted in a dialogue on the cultural relevance of elephant jokes in the seventies and trends in humor throughout time.

We yelled jokes to people from inside of little cages fifty feet up in the air.

We told jokes while crawling on our hands and knees in a cave.

We told them to the staff and to the man playing the pipe organ.

By the end of our tour we finished with 101 Pickle Jokes.

We headed to Ted Drewes for some frozen custard and called it a day.

Now for the humor impaired I suggest reading the following jokes aloud and pretending like you think that they are actually funny. It'll help. I swear. We found ourselves giggling with sincerity by the end of it. (Think Fozzie Bear).

Ok here goes:

How do you say Pickle in French?

Pickle in French.

Should you ever eat a pickle on an empty stomach?

No! You should always use a plate.

What's the phrase most commonly heard at pickle card games?

Dill me in!

What's the difference between a ten cent pickle and a quarter pickle?

Fifteen cents!

Why did the pickle wear red suspenders?

The blue ones broke!

How do you make a pickle sour?

The same way you make a whiskey sour only use a pickle.

Why did the pickle take a ladder to school?

It was going to High School.

IQ test: A pickle worker was five feet tall and wore a size eight shoe. What did he weigh?

Pickles, of course!

How do you make a green pickle?

Cross a blue pickle with yellow one!

What business does a smart pickle go in to?

He opens a dilly-catessen!

- smaller

What do you call bobbing for pickles?

What do you call bobbing for pickles?

A barrel of fun!

Three story pipe organ.

Three story pipe organ.

The player was so adepts that he could listen to a pickle joke while he played.

Crawl holes and a two story slide.

Crawl holes and a two story slide.

Even in the caves people laughed at pickle jokes.

42 vote(s)

Favorite of:


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15 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by Tøm on February 16th, 2008 7:31 PM

Woah, that place looks amazing.

And it's too late here for me to think of a pickle pun.

I'll think one tomorrow, honest.

(no subject)
posted by Flitworth on February 16th, 2008 7:39 PM

What a dillightful completion.

[on behalf of the pun space left open by Internal Riot]

(no subject)
posted by Insomniac Fox on February 16th, 2008 7:49 PM

This really pickles my funny bone.

(no subject)
posted by Ink Tea on February 16th, 2008 9:16 PM

You're adorable. I missed this task being in there. I certainly have spent entire days telling jokes. Recently, telling the same joke as frequently as possible. (Which immediately elicits groans from my friends.)

I even have a joke that's going to get into Prairie Home Companion's "Annual Joke Show".

But, I digress. You're adorable. Pickles. Hilarious.

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on February 17th, 2008 6:57 AM

How cool to meet someone else who had that same book.

The blue ones broke.
posted by Secret Agent on February 17th, 2008 7:27 AM

That was my favourite joke when I was 7, and I'd completely forgotten it. Right up until I red the punch line.

(no subject)
posted by Bex. on February 18th, 2008 1:52 AM

Ohmigaw! I had a pickle joke book!
My bewildering favorite:

What's green and lumpy and can jump over buildings in a single bound?

Super Pickle. (what?)

(no subject)
posted by Ben Yamiin on February 20th, 2008 12:32 PM

Huge vote for the City Museum. I love that place!

posted by anna one on March 18th, 2008 12:34 AM

I think you have to say 'super pickle' in a sing-song voice, and then it's not as bewildering.

(no subject)
posted by Lainthulu on April 13th, 2008 12:27 AM

I do so love bad jokes. Vote!

(no subject)
posted by Julian Muffinbot on April 18th, 2008 12:53 PM

i was in st louis fairly recently (sadly, prior to any knowledge of sf0) and while i was there i went to the city museum, which is now the only thing (at least, that i am aware of) that i am jealous of st louis for having while chicago does not have.

however, i hate pickles too much to vote for this praxis. maybe i wouldn't be feeling quite so anti-pickle if i hadn't just gotten a fake hot dog last night from the new hot dog place in my neighborhood and i got it to go, and it came nestled with a juicy pickle (NOT listed as included on the menu!) in the same wrapping, so when i unwrapped it at home, the bun was all sopping and drenched with pickle juice. ruining everything.

well... hmm. i guess i don't hate pickle *jokes*.

In a head-to-head match, City Museum obliterates Pickle Juice every time.
posted by Myrna Minx on April 18th, 2008 2:30 PM

City Museum ftw! (Sparrows Fall just taught me what that means)

(no subject)
posted by Julian Muffinbot on April 18th, 2008 3:09 PM

yes, but did she teach you that on at least one forum on the internets (probably fandom_wank or one of its offshoots), there was a whole comment war about whether it meant For The Win or Fuck The World? surely this is significant.

(indeed, City Museum FTW. in fact, if you were to find one day that City Museum was missing, entirely sliced out of the ground, and nowhere to be seen, I just want you to know that I personally would never uproot City Museum, raise up an army of gnomes to carry it, and transplant it in Chicago. So you need not suspect me if such a situation ever occurs.)

(no subject)
posted by Sparrows Fall on April 18th, 2008 3:19 PM

(indeed, City Museum FTW.

So wait, which definition of ftw are you using here?

(no subject) +4
posted by Myrna Minx on March 12th, 2010 2:02 PM

It IS sorrowful, to not have writing skillfulness.