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Dr. Subtle
Level 3: 289 points
Alltime Score: 2408 points
Last Logged In: May 29th, 2012
BADGE: INTERREGNUM TEAM: PHZero TEAM: The Disorganised Guerilla War On Boredom and Normality TEAM: Run-of-the-mill taskers TEAM: LØVE BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 1: Commuter Biome Rank 1: Hiker Society For Nihilistic Intent And Disruptive Efforts Rank 1: Anti

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Jet Lag by Dr. Subtle

February 11th, 2008 2:06 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: Give yourself jet lag. This does not require actually getting on a plane.

(note: Nyquil is a dangerous product and one should not use it unless actually necessarily, such as in my toothachey, stomach-virusy case)

HEY! Are you feeling UNCOMFORTABLY PAINED? Like something hit your jaw and it's KICKED YOUR ASS? Like your toothache hurts worse than being kicked by a GORILLA? Then try Nyquil! You'll feel SO GOOD.

You'll drink it and you'll be like "hey this tastes like the color it is. Why didn't they make it a tastier color?" But COLORS DON'T HAVE TASTE YOU CRAZY LIBERAL!

It'll kick in in about 15 minutes: your conscious mind will be like "hey, this pain still hurts." and you'll be like "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" and kick it in the face with your HAZY HALLUCINATIONS and SUDDEN CESSATION OF FEELING!

You'll be out in like HALF AN HOUR! THATS THIRTY MINUTES.

And then you'll wake up 14 hours later and not KNOW WHAT YOUR NAME IS. But thats OK, because the pain HAS ONLY BARELY RETURNED.

Spend your day feeling woozy and at 10PM the next night REPEAT THE CYCLE ETERNALLY FOREVER. Like  in that song by JIM MORRISON!

NYQUIL IS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE! ITS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE! NYQUIL IS MADE OF RECORDS!
(Warning: may affect use of the English Language)

- smaller

ITS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE

ITS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE


COLORS DONT HAVE A TASTE YOU CRAZY LIBERAL

COLORS DONT HAVE A TASTE YOU CRAZY LIBERAL


LOOK AT MY GAME FACE

LOOK AT MY GAME FACE



29 vote(s)


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18 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on February 11th, 2008 2:12 AM

Terrifying.

COLORS DON'T HAVE A TASTE YOU CRAZY LIBERAL
posted by anna one on February 11th, 2008 2:33 AM

5 mins later and I'm still laughing...

(no subject) +1
posted by Haberley Mead on February 11th, 2008 3:41 AM

Colours don't have taste? Clearly my friend you have never eaten an orange.

(no subject)
posted by GYØ Ben on February 11th, 2008 3:42 AM

Or a purple. Purple is a fruit.

EDIT: Nice to see the Lincoln wall still stands!

DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE!
posted by Lincøln on February 11th, 2008 3:55 AM

Agreed Ben. And I enjoy this even though I have never had jet lag.

(no subject)
posted by Insomniac Fox on February 11th, 2008 6:23 AM

I love this reference. Great Tasking. :D

(no subject) +1
posted by Jellybean of Thark on February 11th, 2008 9:47 PM

NYQUIL IS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE! ITS DOORS ALBUMS IN A BOTTLE! NYQUIL IS MADE OF RECORDS!

Procter & Gamble need to use this as the new NyQuil slogan. Oh yes.

(no subject)
posted by Andre W.D. on February 11th, 2008 10:03 PM

400 BABIES

(no subject)
posted by William Vervalsing on March 6th, 2008 8:45 PM

I will laugh for hours every time I see Nyquil for the remainder of my many lives...

I'm gonna go listen to the Doors.

(no subject)
posted by Bjørn Teuleuse on May 5th, 2008 4:58 PM

beautimus

(no subject)
posted by Dr. Subtle on July 22nd, 2008 7:35 PM

I just reread this, and it's still funny to me, and hell, I wrote it!

(no subject) +1
posted by Ben Yamiin on June 7th, 2009 11:13 PM

yep. still funny.

(no subject)
posted by anna one on June 8th, 2009 5:03 AM

Yep. That's the truth.

this made me laugh the laugh of powerthirst joy
posted by Minch on June 8th, 2009 6:50 AM

ah, the joy of finding old gems when people decide to comment.

"you'll be like "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE" and kick it in the face with your HAZY HALLUCINATIONS and SUDDEN CESSATION OF FEELING!"

(no subject)
posted by Adam on June 8th, 2009 12:43 PM

How I love finding brilliant and hillarious tasks I missed when they first came out.

(no subject)
posted by Dr. Subtle on June 14th, 2009 10:16 PM

Oh man. It's been like a year and half, and this is still, still, fucking hilarious.

Yup +1
posted by Secret Agent on November 8th, 2009 5:50 PM

That's cause you can REPEAT THE CYCLE ETERNALLY FOREVER.

(no subject)
posted by Haberley Mead on November 18th, 2010 7:54 AM

Still damn funny.