I am the great Milk Carton, a giant beacon of hope in the lives of many people.* I state that all must be enlightened by the fact that I am a milk carton, and that I have arms. I do not represent the original aims of my creator. (who also created giant dinosaur statues.)

In this matter I do not support the Beleaguered. In fact,

***I DECLARE WAR ON THE BELEAGUERED***
(which is to say, war on random, semi random, and specific killing/violence/irritating tickleing.)
He didn't share his cookie.

Yes. You heard me right. He did not share his cookie. That, truly, is the genesis of the Beleaguered. The beleaguered was one a happy Sushi Chef living in Arkansas. One day, when he was making Baby Kraken sashimi, he ate a cookie. I, at that time, was not confined to my most recent form, that of Christ of the Ozarks. Before now, I was a humble sushi chef. And that was how it all began.

Yes. This was how it all began, with a giant milk carton and a plagued man standing at a sushi bar concentrating, one of them eating a cookie with no hands. the two don't look at anything but their sushi, their maguro, their futomaki, their "crazy motherfucker" rolls. (and, yes, the restaurant had this strange thing, the crazy motherfucker roll.) So there we were. Making some crazy motherfucker rolls. and, I ask him if I can have a bite of his spontaneously levitating cookie. And he said:



NO.


He is not Beleaguered by anything other than a lack of cookie sharing.

Rally under me, or over me, Or maybe to the slight left, doesn't really matter, hunters of the Beleaguered!


I play by only my rules and here they are, after the original rules posed by the beleaguered.


1. when one is dead, they may come to me and ask for aid.

2. If they ask for aid they must complete one randomly assigned** quest for me.

3. If they complete it they are granted Zombiedom***, and will be able to attack the beleaguered until they are ground to dust.

4. Thus will the game go on.

So, all who are discouraged by the infernal plauge that has swept this land THE MILK CARTON WILL PROTECT YOU!


Beleaguered, I am an angry violent pacifist, who is currently angry at you. (not you, unless you are the Beleaguered.)

To all non beleaguered,

there is hope.

*Like...four.

**and nearly impossible.

***Which isn't that great.