It all started with a Ridiculous Protest.

After defending the majesty of my beautiful city's hills through the use of a hoarse voice and strong accusations, we all (even those heathen anti-hillsters) went to engage in some burrito inhalation. Moustaches were provided to all.

Said moustaches ended up becoming stars in a Sheldon-central event and your faithful protagonist's fetching fuzz ended up on his rear view mirror on the ride home.

Flash foward - 8 hours.

I'm driving into work and glance up to my mirror to assure that I didn't run into Πηνελοπη's car again and notice a sprig of black blocking 1/32 of my vision. I swipe it off, apply it to my face, and march in, all the more confident. Strangely enough, the office manager doesn't seem to notice. At all.

I'm greeted with stares and guffaws as I stride into Ιθακη. Upon any inquiry as to the origin or meaning of the existence of the Moustache!, I feign ignorance.

Soon, I find out about this task. I immediately sign up for it, unaffix, and then reaffix, confirming that this would not be a prior completion.

As luck would have it, while on the way out for lunch, the Human Resources director calls me in. I'm weak. I spill the beans.

She informs me that the 'social experiment', while entertaining "must end before tomorrow" as it is "distracting other people". I find out later that approximately every meeting that day began with "Why is بن wearing a moustache?"

As such, a few hours later, I print out a form for the others to sign. As proof, of course.

Flash forward, another two days -

Ζευς informs me that the CEO of my company was both amused and possibly ruffled by my antics. My letter of apology follows:

Dear John,



Due to your position in this dignified enterprise, I felt you needed to get the entire story behind the Notorious Moustache Incident of September 17th.

The previous weekend, during a ridiculous event well suited to my personality, I received (1) fake moustache, suitably villain-shaped. Upon rediscovering said fake moustache in my car on the morning of September 17th, I quickly realized that the one thing Voxify, Inc. needed to increase productivity was more facial hair. Owing to the villainous nature of the lip-ornament, I felt it necessary to hide the true nature of this noble undertaking from the others.



However, in retrospect, I realize now that you, at the minimum, should have been knowledgeable about my dastardly plans.



So please consider this a formal apology.



Let’s all make it a good laugh.



Sincerely,

Ben