SF0 / madbird / Reverse Archeology

75 + 45 points

Reverse Archeology by ƟE←¤, Not Here No More

July 8th, 2011 2:00 AM

INSTRUCTIONS: Do the opposite of archeology.

Many thanks to all the wonderful people at Southern Exposure and Alison Smith, who made all of this possible.

And that's how we did all of it! Hooray! End of Praxis!

Wait, aw hell, that's the four dimensional timey-wimey morkorian driver acting up again...
Let's get this working...Where's the "Beginning."

Hello, this is SunMonkey and DuckBear speaking. We grew up in the late 2480s in the Democratic People's Republic of NorCal. Not too nice in those days, a bit too much thoughtcrime, messed up stuff like that, a big no no. Thankfully, the Resistance (and, trust us, in ever sector of time, it's always called the resistance) was working on something big. Something time related, something quadratically dimensional and ever so germane. To get us out of the hellhole of San Francisco in the 2480s, they built a fleet of time machines from spare parts stolen from the government's stockhouses around the city. The Resistance built enough time machines to transport most of their members out of those years, ending up all around the spectrum of time and space.

Our machine, our lifeboat out of Orwellian hell, was the Model Two: Spacebendy Anti-Linear Wormhole Powered Particle Diffuser (With a Coil!) This trusty vessel was easily flown from the eighties all the way to the twenty first century, a time that looked like the stone age to our future eyes. After a few simple repairs in Southern Exposure we were ready to travel again. Unfortunately, we were also penniless. A plan hatched in our eyes: Tourism! We could give the population tours through time! But that would be stupid, we had no other way to create a new time machine, and if the tourist messed up just one circuit, we would be without a way out of 2011. Instead, we figured that we could just find bits and pieces of time, artifacts, take a few pictures, use our powers of prediction, and make a few bucks while we were at it to live for a while in San Francisco, the town we grew up in, looking at a better and brighter time, and for an even better one to relax and work in.

We fashioned signs for our time machine, showing our wares: Predictions for ten cents a piece, photographs of other times for twenty five cents a piece, and artifacts for three dollars. Our stomping grounds were around the city, but mostly along the commerical portions of Market Street.

Here are some videos of us selling our wares:

Advertising:

Sales:

The rest is in the pictures.

And that's how we did all of it! Hooray! End of Praxis!

The time machine is still operational. If you'd like to receive an item, please send one of us a private message specifying the type of artifact of time you desire: a prediction, snapshot, or relic. We can arrange a delivery or pickup in person or drop box should you happen to be in the San Francisco area (we'll be here a good while, it remains the least discriminatory city towards beings of all eras). If not, we can probably figure out how to use this primitive thing you barbarians call the postal service.

- smaller

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Model 2 Spacebendy Anti-linear Wormhole Powered Particle Diffuser - with a coil!

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http://kalwnews.org/audio/2011/06/16/the-cries-san-francisco-artists-celebrate-the-call-the-street-peddler_1041921.html

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We met a Frenchman who spoke no English. Thankfully, Madeline was able to converse with him after darting back to Napoleonic times and picking up the language quite rapidly. He purchased several Dinosaur Babies from us.

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We encountered a woman and a man with their three children. They purchased a brain scanner, used by the CIA in the 2080s, assembled from alien technology salvaged during the 2020s.

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One man bought five fortunes, but only accepted one, asking that we give hopeful ones to those who can't afford them.

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Samplings of our wares: Doll given by Rasputin to Anastasia. 1917 AD

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First legally cloned (and well preserved mind you) human heart. 2130 AD

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Replica time machine. This guy broke upon delivery...

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Badge of the Alien Alliance! 9:00PM 1945 AD

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Example photographs: Transportation in ninth ice age.

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Inderdimensional hopscotch court.

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First multicellular organism. 3.5 BYA

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Peekaboo (View from inside the rainbow magic portal box)

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Domuttonchops is ready to enjoy his Alien in the Can (Now with 20% more can!).

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Evieboo with the Buddha's childhood play toy. 623 BCE

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Super Buffet Alfred Bust highlights his Arthurian Holy Dixie Cup. Bust also requested his face be obscured, so we ran the photo through facing time portals until we ended up with this...

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Optimus Nola with her shiny new Malcolm X Africlock. Mid Twentieth Century

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The Golden Goose (Madeleine Claire) inhales her golden petrified chameleon currency.

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The wonderful artist Alison Smith with her Alien Buddy and Light particles from the first minutes of our sun's existence. Other artifacts we don't have pictures of: Dinosaur babies, Houdini's Handcuffs, Oscar Wilde's switchblade comb, Calamity Jane's horseshoe, Napoleon (Or was it Voltaire?)'s Coffee Cup, Space Labyrinths, The first commercially available telephone.