So I did not pack a bag for the zombie apocalypse. I packed a bag for a disaster that is very much a real threat for me. This is something I should have done when I moved here two years ago, but has sat unmolested on my to do list behind items like “Paint the bathroom” and “Organize…everything.”


Below you will find my “It’s a Hurricane, not a Zombie Apocalypse Emergency provisions”

1) Water. Duh. Lighters also fall into this category.
2) Atkins bars. Is a hurricane a good time to diet? Probably not. But this was an excuse to buy some, simply for curiosity’s sake. You will note that the box is already open, as curiosity has some willpower issues. As it turns out, the Atkins bars are terrible, making them perfect food for a situation in which desperation rules.
3) Honey nut cheerios. I love these things! I eat them at least once a day anyway and they never go bad.
4) Preserved meat. I will never eat this. I am a vegetarian. But I’m throwing my meat-eating family a bone.
5) Beans, a can opener. Protein for the vegetarian types.
6) Preservative-laden fruit. No Scurvy for us!
7) Infinite Jest. I keep saying I will read this and never do. From what I understand it will keep me occupied for a good while, possibly until the end of time.
8) Flashlights, batteries, so that I can read Infinite Jest. Also probably useful for other activities.
9) Baby wipes. Hygiene, yes, but also because it makes me feel better to clean things when I am stressed out.
10) Duct tape. I don’t know why. Seemed like a good idea.
11) A portable radio. For entertainment. Just kidding. So we can be rescued…? I actually don’t understand why you are supposed to have a radio in an emergency.