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Dan |ØwO|
Level 6: 1438 points
Last Logged In: October 14th, 2015
BADGE: Senator TEAM: CGØ TEAM: The Ørder of the Wild Onion BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 1: Commuter EquivalenZ Rank 1: User The University of Aesthematics Rank 2: Dealer Humanitarian Crisis Rank 1: Peacekeeper Biome Rank 1: Hiker Chrononautic Exxon Rank 1: Clockwatcher

25 + 100 points

Space Bakery by Dan |ØwO|, gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing

March 31st, 2010 7:31 AM / Location: 41.965560,-87.71082

INSTRUCTIONS: Bake something. The finished product must be spherical.

Space Bakers

*Varicolored Glass Marbles (2 dozen)
*Dunlop No. 3 Tennis Ball (1)
*ETi Classic Tea Biscuits (1 kilo)
*Banana (1)
*Centrella Fine Granulated Sugar (1 cups++)
*Pillsbury Best Self Rising Flour (1 1/2 cups++)
*Sun-Maid Natural California Raisins (some)
*Nestle Toll House Milk Chocolate Morsels (1/2 pre-opened 11.5 oz bag)
*Jif Creamy Peanut Butter (several knife blades of)
*Jewel Unsalted Butter (1 stick)
*D'Gari Artificual Vanilla Flavoring (1 capful)
*Jell-o Brand Vanilla Artifical Flavor Instant Pudding and Pie Filling (1 box)
*Parade Clover Pure Honey Grade A Fancy (some squirts)
*Sister's Rabbit "Ziggy" (1)


In a pedantic spirit, we decided to warm the kitchen up a bit. Firstly, the marbles went into naming's 1980's era toaster oven for some light baking, thusly:


They were baked and in their resting state remained spherical.


Task Accomplished! Twenty-five points in the bucket. Still, lest ye think us another Whoa Jammin, we endeavored to proceed. For it is not enough to merely task, one must task thoroughly.

Next, we decided to get the oven ready for our forthcoming delicacies. A tennis ball, lightly braised with butter:

4467115931_a33f770672.jpg4467877206_76035850c9.jpg4467103317_8da059b59d.jpg4467196911_4c22bb2636.jpg4467119813_858c6d5ffe.jpg4467881870_cb35b29a48.jpg4467881204_8287624007.jpg4467880658_fcfedaf09f.jpgMmwah! Magnific! Success numero deux. And now . . .

The Main Course


Here we will begin the great cookie experiment. Adding and mixing until we have products to bake into spheres. Dance with us through these pictures of cookie souls and dough making ecstasy.


At this point, into the oven pops a cookie dough wad that is in the shape of a sphere. This will be our main thrust. We will pull this ball out every 2-5 minutes each time reshaping it so that it cooks all the way through but doesn't bottom out. We will not let it bottom out.


We make another larger ball. This one we will bake for only a short time and then mold it for a bit before letting it rest atop a shot glass. There it will harden, via slow dry air transformation, until it's final product is of a spherical nature.


As the oven's waves wash across our faces. We have more brain storms.


Here we start to think the dictionary may have alternate definitions for us:

1 a.
a solid geometric figure generated by the revolution of a semicircle about its diameter; a round body whose surface is at all points equidistant from the center.

Sure sure, whatever. We want something more creative. Read on brother.

2. any rounded body approximately of this form; a globular mass, shell, etc.

This will help us. As creating a perfect sphere is impossible.

3. a.
a planet or star; heavenly body.

A celestial cookie heaven! Oh oh. We shall arrange them thusly.


Ehhh, kind of? Squint and use your imagination that plate is a small universe and those lumps of dough the celestial bodies floating through out it. (Ah well, worth a try.)


Then we postulated, what if we put thinly sliced slabs, ever smaller, next to each other in descending order, wouldn't that make a sphere shape? Like two pyramids descending.


Oh ho-ho. And then further down, the way we can take just the two tips and force them together with sweet honey.

4467935148_aa5d801fb4.jpg3rd Spherical Success:

4467887566_9bbee4511f.jpg4467118115_f72df8233b.jpg4th Spherical Success:


This is a thoroughly baked cookie. It was delicious as naming's roommate can attest.

5th Spherical Success:


This is the lightly cooked and now cooled dough ball. Remembering that spheres are celestial in nature, I toss it into the sky, and with a first lucky shot of the camera, naming snaps it in mid air. Though stars may explode and gravity acts upon us all, we offer you this picture to keep upon the internet forever.

4467119413_de1e72f8d6.jpgWelcome to Space



For all you haters out there who would denigrate our already heroic efforts, we decided to take this process a step further. To do so, we acquired access to our little sister's pet rabbit Ziggy.


We prepared him a dish with some of our baked goods, along with his standard fare:


At first we feared that our culinary mastery may have disagreed with Ziggy's delicate gastrointestinal tract (and perhaps he might even be dead . . .)


But in the end, with his help, we got our final product:

4468532485_82bc0acb8f.jpg(here are your spheres [no. 6])

The End.

- smaller



26 vote(s)

Favorite of:


(none yet)

32 comment(s)

(no subject)
posted by Dan |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 7:41 AM

Nice post, though I'm jealous you're going to get the majority of the click throughs due to being the lead name.

posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 7:44 AM

Mwahahaha! (I think you could always boot me off the task if you like? Or perhaps Only I can do that, cuz did I start the task and add you first?)

(no subject)
posted by Dan |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 7:47 AM

It does give me the option to boot you. Ha. Also I think if you refresh the page it changes who is in first. How egalitarian of sf0.

vile, unrepentant . . . +1
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 7:51 AM

yea, I'm pleased that the our options are open to betray one another . . .

//prepared and preparing for stabbings in the backs

Nice! +2
posted by Developer Pixie on March 31st, 2010 8:03 AM

i liked that you both baked something which started out spherical and went on to create something spherical out of very non-sphere materials! and the third one... he he
Also, Yum!

Also, come to pdx and task with me!

thanks +1
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 8:10 AM

yea, I used to live in pdx (twice). hopefully visiting in the summer, and I'll try to enlist a posse. Let's cook something up. (thanks for the votes)

(no subject) +1
posted by Dan |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 8:19 AM

Double yeah, I totally want to go. It's on the list of places I'd really like to live, even if just for a bit.

Also I extend to you couch surfing style hospitality if you're ever so inclined. Perhaps for Lolla, or some such. Most likely for tasking. :)

You should come out for journey to the end of the night.

posted by Developer Pixie on April 1st, 2010 8:39 AM

I've always wanted to journey to the end of the night...

and couches are wondrous inventions!

I offer you my fort, or the extra twin in my dorm room, if you're ever in town

(no subject)
posted by Markov Walker on April 2nd, 2010 11:10 AM

Chicago Journey to the End of The Night happens May Day this year.

I'll offer up my place for one person to crash if you can make it out here.

(no subject)
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on April 2nd, 2010 11:25 AM

markov is a great host, I spent my first week in the city on his couch . . .

additionally, if folks don't mind a cat-hair strewn sofa, I too probably have room for +1 prospective voyagers

(no subject)
posted by Dan |ØwO| on April 2nd, 2010 12:44 PM

I think it's worth pointing out that all three of us offering couches can give out couch surfing credits/kudos.

(no subject)
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on April 2nd, 2010 12:47 PM

for clarity's sake, I believe what dan is saying is that we are all here as well:

(no subject) +4
posted by Dan |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 10:29 AM

We were rocking perfect 5s till that micky ficky gave us a 4. Four? Four? Someone's getting nancy kerriganed. (Too soon?)

(no subject) +2
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 10:34 AM

I thinks you misunderstood the order of voting? Perfect Fives being one (1) five? Sigh. Prepare the crowbars. this is just like what they did to j.c.

(no subject)
posted by Dan |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 10:31 AM

Zomg 3! Someone is teasing me now.

Thanks for the points everyone, it was a pleasure tasking for your entertainment.

posted by Lincøln on March 31st, 2010 12:23 PM

I gave you a three because with cookie dough you could have put in a little more effort into making actual spheres. I thought of three ways while reading this to bake actual spheres. And you only tried once. I appreciate all of the comedy and alternative methods tried, but the actual point of the task was barely scratched.

If as much effort went into trying to make spheres as went into the jokes, I think you would have had spheres.

333 +2
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 1:21 PM

we do have spheres. 37 total by my count. thanks . . .
(Dan is a bit of a competitionist and a snark, god love him.)

(no subject) -2
posted by Lincøln on March 31st, 2010 1:36 PM

Sorry. I didn't realize you baked actual spheres. They're not in the photos and you didn't mention them in the write-up.

The only spheres I was were marbles and a tennis ball. Explain where the 33 spheres were/are.

(no subject) +1
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 1:46 PM

No worries, and forgive our impertinence:
Bake Something.: 24 marbles; 1 tennis ball; cookie dough.
The finished product must be spherical.: 24 marbles; 1 tennis ball; 9 rabbit pellets and 3 cookie-ish sculptures.

The spheres are denoted as examples #1 (marbles) through #6 (rabbit pellets).

The three cookie structures are certainly the most debatable, but they did taste better than our other "finished products". :P


(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 31st, 2010 2:01 PM

Like I said, I appreciate the jokes which is why you get three points. And all of those things are jokes (marbles, tennis ball, rabbit pellets). You made me smile (especially the cooked tennis ball), but the actual task wasn't really done to my satisfaction. My satisfaction. I'm a tough critic though. It's hard to get even three points out of me, so that's saying I liked your jokes a lot. I hope you don't think I'm shitting on your task here, I'm just trying to be transparent about why I voted the way I did. You did fine work, and if you'd actually baked something that was spherical, you'd likely have five from me (as long as all of the jokes were intact).

(no subject) +4
posted by done on March 31st, 2010 3:02 PM

Hey Lincoln, these people need the points. They have levels to climb and eras to win. They are the future of tasking. Baking marbles is good.

(I'm no tough critic though, I just love silly stuff. and I have voting points no end...)

(no subject)
posted by Lincøln on March 31st, 2010 3:32 PM

I know they need points! That's why I'm handing them over!

But I gotta make 'em feel like they have to earn 'em even just a little bit. Right?

(no subject)
posted by teucer on March 31st, 2010 3:42 PM

Lincoln's not kidding about being a tough critic, but he's the cool kind of tough critic - the kind that shows up to encourage you to do better because he knows you can. (Text being what it is, encouragement of that sort doesn't always come off as intended until you get to know him, though the fact that those comments come with votes attached helps a bit.) Then when you do something truly incredible, he shows up to cheer you on just as loudly as he criticized before. I'd say he's more Roger Ebert than Simon Cowell.

I, on the other hand, am not so tough a critic, but I don't always notice everything. I missed this completion for a while, but some of this discussion caught my eye from the updates page, so in a funny way I'm voting precisely because Lincoln commented to tell you you could've done even better. He's probably right, but this was pretty cool and you made me laugh. Laughter's totally worth a vote, so, enjoy a vote.

And yes, it's another three-pointer. Deal with it.

As you seem concerned with the size of your votes, I'm gonna start by telling you to calm down and think of them all, any size, as kudos rather than as grades on a test. After all, we have a limited amount to give for all praxes everywhere, so the fact that we spent it on you means you did well.

And everybody's got their own approach to picking what they vote for and the size of each vote, where the latter standard could be anywhere from "my vote pushes this toward its proper value, so since I'm seeing it early and it's not there yet I'm gonna go for the whole five points" to "I want to praise the coolness of as many cool things as I can, so I'll vote with just one point all the time so I have enough to go around." Me? I decided sometime earlier this era that three is going to be my usual vote for good solid praxes, praxes with which I have no complaints, which were creative, and which did than is strictly required of them by the task - like this one. One-point votes are for things that at least mostly did the task (or were cool enough anyway for a vote to accompany the flag; in rare cases I think I've even given larger votes to things I was also flagging) and that made me smile, but just aren't as good as I would've wanted. If my opinion of something is like Lincoln's opinion of this seems to be, it's getting a one-pointer. No twos; I don't see a need to give out in-betweens when the one-point vote is a compromise already. (In past eras such as when I started playing all votes were of fixed size, and your only choice was to vote or not vote; my one-pointer is what I give when that would be a tricky choice to make, and I don't really want to give it my three-point default but I also don't want to avoid clicking the vote button at all.)

This leaves the lofty five free to mean "I think this comes within spitting range of a shplank, at least if you give it enough sassafrass before taking the measurement." I mean, sometimes I hand out fives for things that are good but not quite that good, because somebody catches me when I have a lot of vote points to pass around and am in an easily impressed mood; I have plenty right now, but my moods are fickle and did not grace you with any surplus points this evening. Once again, there are no compromises; four-point votes aren't in my repertoire anymore. To my way of thinking, most praxes give what I insist on from the task description, and that's just reason to not flag. If you didn't exceed expectations at least a little - whether in humor, as here, or in the brilliance of how you followed the instructions, or what you did that went beyond them - then I won't go for the generic vote. There's nothing I've seen that's clearly better than "merely" doing something appreciably cooler than what the game asks of you while still not at least grazing on the foothills of Mt. Shplank.

My votes usually don't get explained like this, but you seem to think five means "full credit." The way some people vote, it does; many of them are like figure-skating judges, though, reserving top marks for the truly impeccable. That's just not my style, and I want you to know I'm not saying "halfway there" or something. The lack of a five-point vote isn't me giving tough love so you'll do better - it means I'm more easily impressed than Lincoln, and am using three points to tell you I'm thoroughly entertained with your tasking and see no reason not to express my complete approval. I'm just holding something back for times when "complete approval" is inadequate to describe what I think of something. Rare is the task on which I would give myself five points. (On most since the end of Glasnost I would go for three and even the weaker ones might manage one. These days, if I think it isn't worth voting for then I don't consider it worth posting either. Actually I encourage everyone to stop and ask yourself before posting, "With whatever idiosyncratic standards I have for voting on completions of this task, would I vote for this if somebody else did it?" If the answer is no, then the follow-up is "Can I do better?" After saying no to the first question I'd say the answer to number two can only ever be yes, after which the next thing to ask yourself is, "Will I?" If you think you will, given the option to submit praxis when you have, then don't spend your one chance to submit the task on the iteration you aren't happy with; if you decide you're not likely to try again, then it's up to you whether to publish the rough cut. But that's all a digression from the task I'm commenting on here, since this isn't a rough cut.)

I give it a two. +3
posted by Levitating Potato on March 31st, 2010 8:24 PM

Mostly because you didn't have a two yet.

You have to collect them all before you can win, you know.

You win. ~Waldo +1
posted by Waldo Cheerio on April 1st, 2010 12:04 AM

I'll be the one-pointer here. For the tennis ball. I agree with Teucer. Except I don't both vote and flag.

(no subject) +2
posted by Burn Unit on April 1st, 2010 10:43 PM

man what.

(no subject) +4
posted by teucer on April 2nd, 2010 11:23 AM

Man. Me typing a long-winded comment that's really there to encourage new people but comes out more verbose and more analytical than it needs to be to an almost intimidating degree, and Burn Unit responding with a man what?

Looking at the date stamps, we totally should've done that on purpose.

(no subject) +2
posted by Burn Unit on April 7th, 2010 3:06 PM

I know right? If anyone else asks, let's just tell them we did it that way.

'hating' for the sake of... -1
posted by artmouse on March 31st, 2010 11:50 AM

perhaps the gang of Rubins have actually been doing their job- your tasking is improving.

but your defensiveness betrays your insecurity; fives come easiest when points are no longer the primary objective...

hating for the love of it. +2
posted by gh◌st ᵰⱥ₥ing on March 31st, 2010 1:25 PM

I think you should be able decimal scale your awarded points, enabling the thumbs up/thumbs down scenario to be micro-picked to 0.000000000000000nth degree.

Additionally, I don't believe our tasking is improving in the least, but thank you for your kind words.

thanks mouse!

(no subject) +3
posted by Samantha Ebay |ØwO| on March 31st, 2010 1:46 PM

Good job you guys! Too bad Bill got it, I would have eaten a spherical cookie, even if Dan's hands were all over it. hehehehhe Also, nice brevity, not too much blah blah blah

(no subject)
posted by Dan |ØwO| on April 2nd, 2010 12:41 PM

Thanks, Sam.

I want you to know, I washed my hands between rollings.

I think the one we are working on together might turn into a novel, though. Have you looked at the Merci task? I feel that we might have the makings of a good thank you sign at our disposal.