Make The News by KC, Geonny Peonny, Recaba Surrealism
April 14th, 2008 7:09 PMRecently we decorated five fire hydrants around our neighborhood. Three deteriorated or were removed within a week, two stayed up for two weeks, one of them made the news.
We were having some trouble deciding whether or not the blog claycord.com could really be considered news. Technically, it's a blog with news stories in it. HOWEVER, the blog was mentioned on CBS5 and the CW Bay Area, so we made a news blog that made the news.
Trust me, the outcry these hydrants caused is certainly worthy of the name "news."
The first post "The Mayor of Claycord" made about us was on Tuesday, April 8th. A reader had sent him a picture of our hydrant "The Person." He was missing his hat, wig, and glasses, but he was definitely ours.
Mr. Mayor was pretty nice about it. He called our decoration "a piece of art" and seemed generally supportive.
This post got 10 comments including:
"ARE YOU SERIOUS? THAT'S IN CONCORD???????"
"May you be stupid & your house burn down..obey the law..this even means do not drink coffee on BART..did you people go to high school or just smoke Pot ?"
"I'm sure firefighters would be able to access that specific hydrant fairly easily.
Lighten up folks. Life's too short."
So some people were mad, some people supported us, and we figured the incident was pretty much over. Geonny posted an update on our praxis that linked to the blog and made a somewhat untasteful comment on the number of readers who actually visited the blog. He insinuated that it was very few.
Apparently, this incensed Mr. Mayor.
He posted a second time after he discovered Casey's sf0 profile and the praxis for the task. He was mad. He said we had been "busted by the Mayor of Claycord." Suddenly we were no longer "decorating" but "vandalizing." He said it wasn't hard "catching" us because we "documented [our] actions, posted several pictures of [our] crimes (including the one on Landana), and gave [our] full names." This was posted on Monday, April 14th. What he had previously treated as a prank was suddenly being called a crime. The Mayor was getting serious.
This post reached 30 comments by 6 PM the day it was posted, including:
"Good job Mayor, we knew you could get to the bottom of it! Yes you ARE good!"
"They painted it in several spots. The paint has since been removed. Mayor do you have a picture of it with glasses?" - The above is untrue. we did not paint the hydrant.
"They vandalized the fire hydrandt. and they were hardly "kids" they were in their 30's." - Also, very untrue.
"Remmeber this..in the 1970's at either Mills College or Holy Names the colege really painted the fire hydrants all over with paint-- 3 fire fighteres died in a fire as they could bot get it open-- real funny..one is not to mess with a fire hydrant..and yes ...marking up one is a crime...where are the parents when these little Bi..hes are out at 1 AM ???????"
"wow, that little website they post on is for uncreative hipsters who want to break the law. " - That's us, guys!
"Vandalism? C'mon....
There's a lot worse for teenagers to be doing (or not doing!) in CoCo."
"I might have missed it but does anybody happen to know how long the clothes stayed on the hydrants? If we're talking days, that tells me all I need to know."
"I think the prank was great. Laugh. It won't last long enough to affect any fires."
"That stupid sf0 blog looks like it is for a bunch of nerds."
Look at all that publicity! Geonny got a call from a concerned friend at 6 AM who told him that The Mayor was not unlikely to call the police, Geonny had never read the sf0 disclaimer and, wanting to assuage our friend, removed the praxis. As with any removed completion, when you tried to visit the page the message "Can't find proof! Sorry, that proof doesn't seem to exist!" appeared. Mr. Mayor took it that we had removed the "proof" of our "crime" and added a flippant message, just to taunt him. Assuring his readers that he wouldn't "let [us] off that easy," The Mayor made yet another post of screenshots he took of the completion, and a slideshow of all five of our decorated hydrants.
These screenshots included one of Casey's sf0 profile, with her name and picture on it. The picture was later removed when Mr. Mayor started thinking again.
As of 6:30, this post had recieved 27 comments, including:
"Can anybody from the pd let us know if you plan to investigate this?"
"Yes, they did disrespect me, and they aren't "kids", they're (or at least they look) older than me." - By Mr. Mayor, age 31, I believe. (We are 17, 21, and 22.)
"This is complete vandalism.Anybody who says otherwise doesn't know the law.If this was a bunch of Mexicans or blacks that painted the fire hydrants you would all want them hung. But since it's a few white girls then it was 'just a prank'." -They kept calling Geonny a girl!
"From the pics of them doing their "tasks", they seem like the fringe nerd/drama group in HS.(if that makes sense)." - Heck yes!
"Little White B*tches. I blame white people for all the problems in the world today."
"Parking in front of or near a fire hydrants is enforced by law. Why? So as to to not inhibit firefighters in accessing a hydrant. Likewise, having to "undress" a hydrant inhibits a firefighter. If a fatality is associated with an inhibited hydrant and is linked to loss of life we call that murder. Think about that for a moment before granting these "kids" moronic prank status." - She called us potential murderers! This was the scariest one!
Casey was beginning to be upset by how many people seemed to misunderstand the idea of sf0 and the Fire Hydrant Conspiracy. She felt the need to make her voice heard and explain herself. She sat down and wrote to the nice people of the Claycord blog:
"Hi. My name is Casey Newbegin and I am one of the people who decorated these fire hydrants. I'm 17 years old (hardly older than you, Mr. Mayor.) This act of what you are choosing to call "vandalization" was committed at 8:30 in the evening, not 1 AM. Several cars passed and saw us, no one stopped. In our original decoration the jacket was not zipped. Also he was wearing a wig and a hat and glasses.
I was also responsible for the write up of the "task" as it is called on sf0. Except for the update that mentions this blog, that was my friend.
I would understand if the owners of the houses on Landana saw our decoration and decided to remove it. But they didn't. They left it up for two weeks. Someone even zipped up the jacket. What I do not understand is the stir this incident has caused. One fire hydrant, one jacket, no harm done. Right?
Vandalism is defined in the glossary of the California Criminal Defense Lawyers as "willful or malicious destruction, injury, or disfigurement of any public or private property, real or personal, without consent of owner or persons having custody or control." We destroyed nothing. We injured nothing. We disfigured nothing. Obviously the homeowners don't care, or they would have removed it.
Sf0 is a web community (not started by me or anyone I know) where people complete tasks for points. It is based on the ideas of cooperation, art, and spreading joy to the community. Part of the disclaimer on the state says that "Due to the malleability of digital media, any appearance of such a violation by any Player may not be considered evidence, precedent, or approval of such a violation. Any material displayed as part of the Game should be considered fictive until and unless proven otherwise." This page is not "proof" of anything, according to the guidelines of the site.
I appreciate that people care for their community. It's my community, too. But all of this anger is unnecessary, for something so small and insignificant. Shouldn't we be focusing on the bigger issues?
We're not 30, we did not paint the hydrant or do anything that was permanent or could not be easily removed. We just decorated a couple of fire hydrants.
I've said my piece. Thanks for my fifteen minutes of fame."
Casey got some support. Her favorite response was the following:
"Casey, I can tell that you are a very intelligent young adult. You're right, this hardly constitutes vandalism. It ranks right up there with TPing trees. God forbid people participate in good clean fun!
In order for there to have been a vandalism there would have had to been a distruction of property. What you've done actually looks like a fun idea. I've noticed other bay area communities that have contests to paint hydrants in whimsical ways. Concord should take your lead and start something similar.
Keep having fun Casey. I'd much rather you decorate a hydrant that knife somebody at a party or shoot them over a drug deal gone wrong."
These posts have accumulated a total of 67 responses so far, 57 of them today. There's a post about an arrested murderer with 9 responses. One about a child molestation case with 15. Do we really have our priorities straight here?
[EDIT:] THE MAYOR OF CLAYCORD RESPONDS:
"OK, here it comes, from the mouth of the Mayor of CLAYCORD....
I'm willing to grant these children a little slack, since they are only 17, and probably didn't really think about what could happen if the fire department did in fact need to access the fire hydrant. I know they said they realized what could happen (somebody could die), but since they are only 17 (and not in their late 20's), then I'll move on. I did stupid things at 17, not this stupid, but I did some stuff that I thought was "funny" when others didn't.
I still don't agree with them decorating the hydrant to the point where the fire department would have trouble accessing it. The fire department should have nothing but complete access in case of a fire, and what they did was tamper with that access, which is completely against the law. It doesn't matter if they did it on purpose, or without understanding what they were doing, because they DID DO IT!
I hope they learned a lesson from all this, and to think twice before they do something stupid like this again.
Casey, thank you for commenting. You have guts as a 17 year old to take responsibility and explain your actions. So for that, I say "thanks"."
My good man, if you have lived your life never doing something more stupid than decorating a fire hydrant, you haven't lived.
And we're up to 81 responses to this topic.
The Person, Part II
This picture was taken by a reader of the Claycord blog.
Screenshot of a screenshot
43 vote(s)
- Lainthulu
- Haberley Mead
- Darkaardvark
- Myrna Minx
- praximity
- qwerty uiop
- Ian Kizu-Blair
- Sparrows Fall
- Jellybean of Thark
- TEA
- zer0gee
- anna one
- Tøm
- Spidere
- Loki
- Stu
- susy derkins
- Dela Dejavoo
- GYØ Ben
- Julian Muffinbot
- teh Lolbrarian
- The Animus
- meredithian
- Optical Dave
- Lincøln
- bunny dragon
- Scarlett
- Sean Mahan
- Rao
- Tricia Tanaka
- Adam
- Sombrero Guy
- Burn Unit
- Fonne Tayne
- kristin gish
- Lithium Spade
- ENØ Sock
- Xena
- Ben Yamiin
- Delusions of Grandeur
- Not Here No More
- Pip Estrelle
- done
Favorite of:
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claycord36 comment(s)
I must say guys, congratulations for standing up for yourselves against an angry mob of strangers over the internet - I'm sure I couldn't've done that at your age!
It's a shame that there are people like this, who will take something way out of hand, but slings and arrows of outrageous fate and all that...
now go decorate the hydrant outside the mayor's office. ;)
broken window theory + overreaction = LOSE.
also, super bonus points for actually going and talking with them after all those accusations. seriously. much respect.
Those anonymous blog comment writers are crazy... way too deep into grown-up worrying and fretting. Good job making the news though! I love the fire hydrants and this whole exchange makes the task even cooler. Great response on your part.
HOW IS THIS FUNNY THERE ARE INNOCENT CATS THAT ARE DYING FOR YOUR SINS HOW IS THIS FUNNY THIS IS SERIOUS
YOU ARE ALL NERDS SF0
I know scienceguru, MR. MAYOR,
and you are no scienceguru!
Whoa there, Mr. Mayor. How do you know those cats didn't set the fire in the first place? You know, for the insurance money.
You know who I'd ask? The cats.
Follow the money, just follow the money.
Also, Mr. Mayor, don't you have a city to run?
And what the hell kind of name is "Claycord"? It's like the episode where Gumby starts the American Revolution.
Claycord is a portmanteau of the words "Concord" and "Clayton" - two local towns.
(Shhh... don't tell anyone, but I actually knew that... I was just looking to be snarky at "Old" Mr. Mayor)
Must... resist... urge to comment...
Some people need to have a little fun, I wonder if any of the new players are from there! If not , they should. They sound like they need 'instructions for vandalism'
"That stupid sf0 blog looks like it is for a bunch of nerds."
Correction, Awesome, Fun nerds.
Great job on making the news!
Repeat after me, "The humorless twits who have nothing better to do than to post comments on the blog of the mayer of Concord are not representative of the population. The humorless twits who have nothing better to do than post comments on the blog of the mayor of Concord are not representative of the population. The humorless twits who have nothing better to do than post comments on the blog of the mayer of Concord are not representative of the population. . ."
There. Don't you feel better now?
At the same time, I'm struck by the realization that there has been far too little tasking in Concord. They've got a BART stop. It's easy to get there.
And, to be honest, I'm getting tired of showing up at Dolores park for a crazy, wild, gonzo task and discovering that we're only the 10th weirdest thing to happen on a given day. "Oh, you're playing Calvin Ball? Does that have anything to do with the massive whipped-cream pie fight, the drunken adult piñata party, or the human-pyramid scavenger hunt? Punch god for cheesecake? Are you guys working with the the cruising gay Jesus, the gaggle of transvestite nuns playing guitars on stage, or the naked blue body-painted Krishna?"
I say, it's time to export some UNEXPECTED to the peaceful town of Concord.
Admit it, you've always wondered where that BART train goes, haven't you? Time to find out. Let's show the Mayor of Concord what a group of dedicated thirty-something miscreants can do.
Note: I urge you all to engage in strictly legal shenanigans. Breaking the law would be wrong.
Oh Loki, when will you become our Senator?
If this was a bunch of Mexicans or blacks that painted the fire hydrants you would all want them hung.
Right, I mean, that is obvious.
J-Tony is right. You should all be subject to a much better grade of criticism.
First, a minor complaint. What's with all the double-dipping? First Lincoln collects twice for both leaving and following clues and now this. Where's the sportsmanship or sportswomanship? At this rate, you're going to do one thing, add 25 collaborators, write it up 17 different ways and call it an era. Lazy, lazy, lazy.
I know, I know. Everyone who doesn't think you're awesome all the time is a humorless twit. But I have to give it to Loki to admit the obvious loud and clear.
It's far, far more painful and insulting to be ignored than to be reviled when you're trying to be outrageous.
So let's face the truth. It's only in places like sleepy right-wing Clayton that you're gonna get the reaction you want. :>
(That you're wild, crazy, gonzo, dangerous etc).
How pathetic is that?
SF0 isn't interesting enough for San Francisco :>
Although I guess the rocket scientist missed it - the blog is based in Clayton, which is a smaller town near the outskirts of Concord. The guy isn't the mayor of anything, least of all Concord. He's just a gadfly with a blog and a handle, dude.
"CLAYCORD.com is all about gossip and satire. The content that is published contains rumors, speculation, assumptions, opinions, and factual information. Postings may contain erroneous or inaccurate information. The owner of this site does not insure the accurateness of any content presented on CLAYCORD.com. I'm sure things I say will piss you off sooner or later, but keep reading, because you know you love it! CLAYCORD.com is a journalistic forum".
So the BIG question is:
"Can a bunch of dedicated thirty-something miscreants ...... read?"
About your minor complaint, this task specifically says "Make the news by completing a task." I did my best to keep the information on both pages different, they're two separate write ups with different pictures and different text. I don't like double dipping either :)
Fair enough, Casey. I was just combining comments in one place. The other example is a far more egregious case of double-dipping.
Sure did make *my* head hurt to read a rallying cry by bored twenty-something urbanites to engage in more teenage pranks in suburbia.
That's the whole raison d'etre for being a teenager in a dull suburban town.
Pointlessness can be a slippery path. You end up exactly where a lot of you started out :>
ScienceGuru is of course correct. In the exhaustive and detailed study I made of the website before posting, I apparently failed to notice that "the mayor of Claycord" isn't actually a city official, and that Claycord isn't in actually a city. I hereby formally apologize to the mayor and residents of Concord for my stupidity, and withdraw my suggestion.
We can only hope that in the inevitable, destructive war my post is sure to cause, the city of Concord makes the same mistake and chooses to attack the airport instead of us.
It's far, far more painful and insulting to be ignored than to be reviled when you're trying to be outrageous.
I suppose that explains why I've now been upgraded to the "two private messages *and* a public post in response to every comment I make on SF0" plan. But then, that's the difference between voyeurism and stalking. A voyeur actually enjoys watching. A stalker just wants it known that they're watching. (Not an easy task in a world that has learned to ignore spam and message-board griefers.) Given a choice, I know which I'd rather be; however, I'm glad there is a third option.
I know, I know. There can't be too many repetitive "awesome" comments, but just a few of the other variety and it's too upsetting to be tolerated :>
How gonzo.
Don't be silly. After commenting how boring Dolores Park is getting, and expressing such disappointment in the lack of outraged response to barefootedness in Berkeley:
(A place where a few barefoot hippies have been spotted from time to time in recorded history)
The plea to be un-watched is a leetle bit ironic.
Again ... the panache don't quit.
I find it quite entertaining that the Mayor seemed fairly indifferent about the whole incident until you mentioned his blog, at which point everything was "terrible and dangerous and blah blah..."
An anonymous commenter said it much better than I did:
In your first post about this you called it a "piece of art" and refered to the act as "decorating". Now you are using a much harsher tone and repeating the word "vandalize".
I think you got offended that these kids disrespected your blog and are now behaving a bit childish, Mr. Mayor.
That was a great story.
You get my vote for sticking up for yourself, in the face of an unintelligent mob, and 'the law'.
As for the 'double dipping' thing, I want to agree. But never once have I thought to myself "This player does too many tasks" or "They're getting too many points". If nothing else, it's two perspectives of the same event. If the players play for points, let them.
When I joined the game, I asked Dax what his view on cheating was, given that cheating the system can require more thought at times than not. His response was something along the lines of:
People who cheat are going to get bored after a few weeks and leave. There's only a mock-competition for points around here, so SF0 players really come to respect acts of intrinsic motivation.
I'd have to say I agree.
In my day, we called it multi-tasking, and we aimed for it. Now, in my day we also didn't have a lot of tasks that were closely related, so it took actual creativity to do so. I'm not against it. I know I've done it.
"INSTRUCTIONS: Make the news by completing a task"
Impossible not to here.
This is where somebody hastens to assure me that Mr Mayor is a fictional character, and not actually somebody in public office.
Please?
There's no actual Claycord, so there can be no Mayor of it :)
And to Flea, you are actually quoting Geonny, who commented anonymously a couple of times.
Let's show the Mayor of Concord what a group of dedicated thirty-something miscreants can do.
Don't make me use my NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH.
Geonny prefers to subtly fan the flames from the safety of the shadows.
ALSO THIS:
Me and Mayor McCheeese at a PRESS CONFERENCE.
"Don't make me use my NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH."
way to make me spit out all my water on the keyboard.
Way to go, Mayor. Nice. You've caused Julian's keyboard to suffer water damage.
This is seriously the funniest comment I've ever read on a blog.
"
Anonymous said...
"The eyes were red dots from a washable marker."
Is coloring private property with a washable marker not vandalism?
"
Oh so anal.
It would appear that the second and third blog posts have been deleted, leaving only the positive-but-sarcastic-according-to-the-mayor one...
Does this mean we win?
If I didn't think it was a really bad idea, I'd probably start trolling that blog.
I think the attention given to this is utterly ridiculous. But major props to you guys.