I set out for the afternoon with all of the tools to be as invisible as I can get: Baseball cap, brown jumpsuit, and a pen and clipboard. I headed to the big drug store and purchase some tape and WD-40. I splurged and got the fancy WD-40 with the attached straw.

Upon exiting the store where I purchased the goods I figured I ought to begin my endeavor...


I suppose I ought to backtrack before I get too far ahead. While in St. Louis, I saw this:


It was at the public library. I was a little dumbfounded and quite amused. "Which other door?" I thought to myself. It reminded me of the childish game where someone makes a card and on one side it says "How do you keep an dummy amused? (Flip over for answer)" and on the other side it says "How do you keep an dummy amused? (Flip over for answer)".

So let's come back to my exit from the large "drug store". I had my WD-40 and tape. My clipboard. And lots of sheets of paper with "Please Use Other Door" printed on them. By now, you likely know what I did.



I stood for a minute and watched an people would reach for the handle... see the sign... go for the other handle... see the other sign... look at the first sign, then the second sign, and finally open the second door.

I felt a little sense of accomplishment and a decent dose of amusement as I walked across the street to my bank to deposit a check. While I was there I stopped and posted some signs to their doors.

I headed downtown and stopped a few times along the way. Each time I would just stick the fliers on the front doors.... until I got to the Art Institute. I thought that this was the sort of thing that might be appreciated by the artsy types, and I walked right in.

"Is this 1170 Market?" I asked the guard while looking at my clipboard.
"Yes."
"Oh, is it the top or bottom hinges that are givin' ya the problem"
"Oh.... I don't.. know."
"Ok, whell U'll jusht lubricate 'em all" I said with a pen in my mouth while spraying liberal amount of lubricant.
"Ok..... are you sure it's these doors?"
"Yeah... they said market street side. 1170. I'm going to put these signs up. Make sure people don't use these doors for a while."
"Oh! But this is a school! These doors need to be used."
"Oooh. Ok. I'll call my guy. I'll be back"

I didn't return.

This same sort of routine happened a few times, intermingled with non-interaction postings.

But the gem was American Eagle Outfitters.

Same story:
"Is it the top or bottom which is givin' ya the problem?"
"Uhm..... the bottom? I think. Let me call the manager."
"Oh no need. They didn't tell me that you guys had the extra tall doors and I didn't bring my ladder so I can only treat the bottoms anyhow. So I'm just gonna lubricate and I'll be on my way. If it's still a problem, then give us a call and we'll send out another guy, but make sure to mention you have the extra tall doors."
"Let me call the manager"
She comes over. She's maybe 20. Wearing clothing which they sell and asserts:
"It's definitely the bottom."
"Ok, good. I didn't bring a ladder with me, on account of I didn't know that you guys had the extra tall doors. But I just finished the lubrication. I'm going to post these signs. Just make sure that no one uses the doors for a while."
"Oh..... should we just close?"
"Well do you have another set of doors?"
"Yeah... the back door into the mall."
"Well ok, just use those."
"How long do they need to stay shut?"
"An hour. Two hours. Y'know."
"An hour??"
"Yeah."
"Ok"
And I was on my way.

I continued to go on to do all six front doors to the metreon. The doors to the SFMOMA (including the revolving doors). I got a bunch along the way.

As I got on my bike to head home, I quickly went past American Eagle Outfitters. They had posted a guard in front of the doors. The signs still up. He was ensuring that no one used the doors. I giggled all the way home.

Though I didn't get photos of all of the locations here are the 15 locales:
Walgreen's 16th X Mission
Wells Fargo 3027 16th Street
Flax 1699 Market
1390 Market
Post Office 101 Larkin
1201 Market
Art Institute 1170 Market
901 Market
Marshall's
Ambercrombie & Fitch
American Eagle Outfitters 865 Market
The Container Store
The Metreon
SFMOMA