Graph of Desire by JJason Recognition
January 14th, 2008 6:06 PM
I made three graphs over the course of two days, charting the changes in my desires over time. In each case I checked my desires every hour, on the hour, and rated my desire on a scale from one to ten. Then I marked down my rating and connected the current point to the past points. I recorded these findings in moleskin notebook.
The first graph mapped out my hourly desires in terms of desire for rest, food, and amusement. Here I ran into the problem that I lacked a clear notion of what exactly each number meant. How hungry is, let's say, a 5 desire for food. I fear that I wasn't very consistent in these ratings, so the data graphed may not be terribly accurate. This initial graph took me from 4 AM on the 13th to 8 PM the same day (obviously I did not graph while I was sleeping. That would be difficult).
The second graph mapped out my desires in terms of presence and absence. Every hour, on the hour, I would stop and judge to what extent I desired things to cease (for example a ceasation of hunger, of cold, of consciousness) and to what extent I desired things to come into existence (for example the coming into existence of a waffle or internet connection). I rated these on a scale of one to ten and marked them down the the graph. This graph took me from 8 PM on the 13th to 9 AM on the 14th.
Finally, I whittled it down to one variable and graphed only my desire. Each hour, on the hour, I rated on a scale from one to ten the extent to which I was content versus the extent to which I was actively desiring something. This graph took me from 9 AM to 8 PM on the 14th, at which point I put an end to my desire graphing activities.
Findings: I was surprised by how difficult this was. It was difficult to rate my desires in from one to ten, even when I simplified dramatically. It was also difficult to figure out exactly what I desired, for the creation of variables to track and to figure out exactly what I was desiring at any given moment. I'm not exactly sure how accurate my results are.
Another thing I noticed is that I experience moments of surprising satisfaction (is not satiation) from time to time, but these moments are not particularly different nor am I dramatically less active during these moments. I'm not sure what this means. I guess that I don't have a clear grip on my desires, and in learning that this task was fruitful.
Moleskin
This is the moleskin which I charted my desires in
graph1.jpg
This is the first graph of my desires, indicating my desire for rest (circles), food (triangles), and amusement (squares.) The squiggly line indicates a discontinuity, in this case the ten hours I spent asleep.
graph2.jpg
The second graph, which laid out my desire for presences (with open circles) versus absences (with closed circles). I forgot to make a notation at 9 PM, so that bits missing. Again, the zig-zag indicates the discontuity between 12 and 4 AM, where I was sleeping. Besides graph my desire, these figures show my ridiculous sleep schedule.
Graph 3
The final graph. Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a scan of this one, but the basic movement over time should be clear. This graph maps out the movement of my level of desire, on a scale from one to 10.
