Graph of Desire by JTony Loves Brains
January 23rd, 2008 12:48 AMHere's the whole painting:

I'm not happy with the color, etc. on this. I scanned it in and the scanner doesn't seem to like things like color or texture, and so it isn't coming across as warmly as it does in real life. I hope to take some photos in daylight to replace these.
The whole of the graph shows, at center, the heart exploding with desire from a shotgun blast. This is the way I see desire beginning in all of us, a violent, explosive palpitation of the heart that shoots outward to our various circles of concern.
I broke out my desires into 5 centers: Fun, Sex, Creation, Warmth/Comfort, Relationships
The first, Fun, was almost an afterthought. This is the desire just to enjoy yourself.

Each desire center holds 2 thermometers. The blue one shows the amount of desire I'm feeling in that center currently, while the red one shows how much of that center I'm getting in my life right now. Knowing how much your getting of your desire is important, I think, as the relationship between what you've got to how much you want changes the dynamic of the desire considerably. I'm not getting huge amounts of fun in my life right now, but I'm getting enough that the desire hasn't risen too high above what I've actually got.
Sex, however, is a different story.

For various reasons, my sex life is pretty much non-existent. I have no access to another person/people to help calm the desires of simply touching skin to skin, let alone anything more... intimate. Painting the image above is the most sexual thing I've done in a very, very long time. This, of course, is an example of the lack of a desire's target actually increasing the desire. I lowered the desire thermometer a couple of notches as a reaction to this inflation.

The desire to create is pretty much central to my life right now, and for the last couple of months my ability to create has matched my desire to create. From knitting to embroidery to painting, I've been able to make things pretty much on a daily basis, and my desire to create has also helped me to keep going through the difficult times during the process (even this painting had several slump moments that I had to plow through).

The desire for warmth and comfort is actually stronger than I've depicted here. Basically my apartment, a warm, comfortable, safe place, was so hard won in the last part of last year, that I've become a little complacent while at the same time nearly panicked with the desire to have a comfortable pay check so that I'm not living month to month. Sometimes when you have a desire but a limit on how you can act on getting that desire, you shuffle that desire energy to a separate desire center. I think some of this is pushed off into my desire to create, which is why the desire thermometer is so low here.

The relationship graph basically represents all of the non-sexual desire for human contact. Time with friends, family, my kids, even just banter with folks across the store counters I visit each day. I have some of this non-sexual intercourse in my life, but not nearly enough. I desire quality time spent with other people, and I am spending a great deal of time alone.
So this image I've created is just a snapshot of my life right now, and even as I was making it I found it changed here and there. I think that, for many folks, graphing their desires is a learning experience. I don't feel that I learned much that was new, but the snapshot is a good reminder of how my wants are distributed and what I'd like to change. Stuff to think about, anyway.
Graph of Desire

Full graph, including the gun and the heart, representing the shotgun-blast-to-the-heart that is the origin of all desire.
The Fun Graph

Not getting as much fun as I want, but fun is also not the most important of my desires, so it is OK.
The Sex Graph

There is a strange relationship on the sex graph in that having less sex (and you can't have much less sex) drives the desire up. This is true for many, but not all things we desire, but seems to be particularly intense in regards to sex.
The Creation Graph

This is probably the central desire in my life right now, the desire to make things, to work with my hands and bring beauty into the world.
The Relationship Graph

This is the graph of the desire for contact and non-sexual intercourse with others. I've got some of this, but way not enough, and the desire is probably second only to creativity.
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Enchanting and creative - you are quite the artist!
unabashed honesty wins approval, always. unless you're a crook.
Too bad the honesty can't win me a job...
I don't have any useful job leads for you, but I like your interpretation of graphing via making a visual representation. And it's an interesting analysis of desire, too.
Shot through the heart and your to blame…
darling… you give love a bad name bad name bad name
I've begun to think of him as "Jon Mal Jovi".
Mister Jon Bon Jovi devient trop comme Michael Bolton à mes oreilles, alors je le surnomme Mister Mal Jovi. Il a fait faire de la chanson, "Vous donnez une mauvaise image de l'amour", Non?
Surely Jon Bon Jovi should really go to Jon Mauvais Jovi, no? Jon Mal Jovi would be the progression from Jon Bien Jovi.
This comment brought to you by Grammar Pedants, Inc.
I see your point, but I'll say this:
When the music gives you a slight headache and someone asks you how you are, you say "mauvais". When the music forces you to vomit, you say "mal".
Plus, for poetic licence, the mirroring of the 3 letters is worth the grammar "bug" (no, it is a "feature").
"non-sexual desire for human contact"
mmmmmm. friend snuggles are way better than sex.
Agreed... although long time without sex makes it a more... intense desire at times.
But snuggles are so, so much better. And kisses. I so miss kisses.
Tony, this is brave and honest and hopeful, all rolled into beautiful. Thanks. Desire as an explosion from a gun blast: don´t we all wish it was just a poetic image, problem is it burns.
Shouldn´t this level of art production would assure you a steady stream of sexually interested mates? What is wrong with us gals?