aka Los Angeles Metro Rail Anagram Map

This task has turned my brain to jelly. It has taken me the better part of a week - definitely more than 30 hours- and has numbed my brain to a zombie-like state. Probably not the best task to take on for Interregnum, but once I started, I was hooked.

Having seen the past completions of this task, featuring the Bay Area's BART system and Kansas City's bus system, I decided to take on LA's Metro Rail system. This is a shout out to my home town.



As it turns out, the map for LA's Metro Rail system is much more texty than the BART map, and possibly the Kansas City map as well. Doesn't help that I decided to change EVERY bit of text (except one).

Plus I tried to include as many variations that sounded like place names as possible. These make it read more like a map rather than just absurdist mumbo-jumbo. Though there's plenty of that, too.



So yes, I used the Internet Anagram Server, because otherwise this would have taken ten times as much time to muddle through. Some words are much harder to make anagrams out of than others. For example, there are no anagrams in English for "Civic Center" (though perhaps proper nouns would work). For several names I had to resort to anagrams in Spanish, French, German - even Dutch! Given LA's rich ethnic heritage, I thought this completely apropos.

Really short words yield very few anagrams, hence the invention of iCop (new from Apple!) in place of Pico. And long phrases yield upwards of 50,000 variations, which take a lot of time to sort through.



Here's a list of the texts from the map and the anagrams I settled on (with runners-up listed alongside). Some of these alternatives almost made it into the final version, they were so good!

Go Metro - Get Room (Got Rome?)
metro.net - ModOtterNet

Ventura County Line - Invent Lunacy Route (Your Valentine Cunt, Vent Your Alien Cunt, You Vile Cunt Tanner)
Warner Center - Recreant Wren
Canoga - A Conga
De Soto - Toe Sod
Pierce College - Ogle Pee Circle (Ice Clog Peeler)
Tampa - Tap Ma
Reseda - Red Sea (Erased)
Balboa - Boa Lab (A la Bob)
Woodley - Old Yeow (Wood Lye)
Sepulveda - Dual Veeps (Slave Dupe)
Van Nuys - Navy Sun
Woodman - Woo Damn
Valley College - Legal Yell Cove (Lovely Lace Gel, Lace Glove Yell)
Laurel Canyon - Unclean Royal (Yon Anal Ulcer)
North Hollywood - Horny Dot Hollow (Lord Hotly Nohow)

Universal City - Revisit Lunacy (Salinity Curve, Truancy Is Evil)
Hollywood/Highland - Downhill Hoagy Hold
Hollywood/Vine - Woody Oven Hill (Yon Hollow Dive, Howdy Vile Loon, Howdy Love Loin, Oily Hovel Down)
Hollywood/Western - Holey Letdowns Row (Snorty Weed Hollow, Rowdy Teens Hollow, Lowly Stoned Whore)
Vermont/Sunset - Never Tom's Nuts
Vermont/Santa Monica - No Atomic Manservant, (Caveman Norm Station, Monomaniacs Art Vent)
Vermont/Beverly - My Bent Revolver
Vermont/Wilshire - Hermit Snivel Row, (Wolverine's Mirth, Weevil Rims North)
Wilshire Western - Whistler's Wiener (Senile Whirr West)
Wilshire/Normandie - Newer Nihilism Road (Hairline Mire Downs, Wired Minors Inhale, Reread Nihilism Now)
Westlake/MacArthur Park - Elk Sweat/Karma Crap-Thru
7th Street/Metro Center - 7 Cent Retort/Them Trees (7 Metre Rottenest Retch, 7 Cent Retort/The Meters)
Pershing Square - Queer Phrasings
Civic Center - Cric en Civet (Cric Ce Vient, Cent Vie Cric, Cri Ceci Vent)
Union Station - Onion Tit Anus (Anoint Sin Out, So Anti-In-n-Out)

Chinatown - Nacho Twin (Wanton Chi, Wino Chant)
Lincoln/Cypress - Cynics Sell Porn
Heritage Square - The Queasier Rag
Southwest Museum - Hummus Sweet To Us (Sweet Sum Sumo Hut, Mute-Mouth Wusses)
Highland Park - Dark Plan High (High Dark Plan)
Mission - Miso Sin
Fillmore - Rim of 'Ell (Fille Rom, Le Morfil, Le Fil Rom)
Del Mar - Rad Elm (Dermal, Lard Me)
Memorial Park - Milk Romp Area (Koala Perm Rim, Okra Pram Mile, Polka Ream Rim)
Lake - Kale (Leak)
Allen - Llena
Sierra Madre Villa - Malaria Sled River

Pico - iCop
Grand - Drang
San Pedro - Darn Peso (Raped Son, Nos Padre, Spread On, No Drapes)
Washington - Swain Thong (Wanting Hos, Wanton Sigh, Saw Nothing, A Thong Wins, Shag In Town, Shag Inn Two)
Vernon - Non Ver
Slauson - Os Lunas
Florence - Elf Crone (Corn Feel)
Firestone - Tree Of Sin (Feet Irons, I Sneer Oft)
103rd Street - Trendiest Dunderhead North (Tenderhearted Rotund Hinds, Redheaded Dentist Run North, Redheaded Nerd's Ninth Tutor, Dad Doth Tenth Nun's Derriere)

37th Street - The Renters' Shitty Vet (The Nether Trivets Sty, The Nether Vestry Tits, The Ten-Trivet Shyster)
Slauson - Os Lunas
Manchester - Sham Center (Them Cranes, Harem Scent, Ma Hen Crest)
Harbor Freeway - Faery Whore Bar (Aery Whore Barf, Hoary Were-Barf, Beery Oar Wharf)
Rosecrans - Ass Corner (Car Sensor)
Artesia Transit Center - Nicer Satanist Retreat (Inanest Racist Retreat)

Compton - Mont Cop
Artesia - A Satire (Eats Air)
Del Amo - La Mode (Load 'Em)
Wardlow - Wow Lard!
Willow - Wow Ill
Pacific Coast Highway - Aspic of Cacti Highway (Aphasic Gay Witch Coif, Chaotic Achy Waif Pigs)
Anaheim - He-Mania
Fifth Street - Stiff Tether (The Test Riff, Fret Fest Hit)
First Street - Ferret's Tits
Pacific - Facci Pi
Transit Mall - Ant Art Mills
Long Beach - Leach Bong

Redondo Beach - Odor Ache Bend (Bronco Headed)
Douglas - Loud Gas (Soda Lug, Slag Duo)
El Segundo - Ed's Lounge (Nude Ogles, Glue Nosed)
Mariposa - Pi's Aroma
South Bay - Bust Ahoy! (A Busty Ho)
Aviation LAX - Avian Oil Tax (Taxi Via Loan)
LAX - AXL
Free Shuttle - Flee The Rust (Feet Hustler, Three Flutes, Feel The Rust, The Lust Reef, The Reef Slut)
Hawthorne - Hot Raw Hen (Warn The Ho)
Crenshaw - New Crash
Vermont - Vent Rom (Nom Vert)
Avalon - No Lava (An Oval)
Imperial/Wilmington - Lint Wiping Memorial (Prowling Militiamen, Ptomaine Wiring Mill, Eliminating Limp Row)
Lakewood - Oak Dowel
Norwalk - Lank Row (Rank Owl)

San Fernando Valley - Oral-Enslaved Fanny (All Fanny Endeavors, Allover Fanny Sedan)
Mid Wilshire - Irish Mildew
Pasadena - Panda Sea
LAC USC Med Ctr - Cum Clad Crest
CSULA - LA SUC
San Bernardino Line - Adorable Sinner Inn (Nonlinear Brandies)
El Monte - Mole Net
Riverside Line - Evil Rise Diner (Sideline River, Evil Is Nerdier)
Orange County & 91 Lines - Crayon Tongue & Yetis' Neon Linen

Metro Rail - Retro Mail
Transitway - Wary Taints (Antiwar Sty, Satiny Wart, Yawn Traits, A Warty Snit, A Stray Twin, An Arty Wist)
Metrolink & Amtrak - Toner Milk & Ark Mat
Transfer Station - Stentorian Farts (Assonant Fritter, Seafront Transit)
Station - Oat Tins
Parking - Rank Pig - Pink Rag - Rap King
Parking (Paid) - Rank Pig (a dip)

Street Service North of 37th Street - Never Hottest Torches First (These Shirtfront Corvettes, Hottest Recent Fervor Shits, Hottest Recent Rover Shifts, Hottest Secret Fervor Hints, Hottest Insect Froth Server)



Sorry the pdf's of the full maps are such large files - there's a lot of info!

P.S. - If you look closely, you will see that my map is actually from the FUTURE!

P.P.S. - Please excuse my inclusion of blatant self-aggrandizement.

Enjoy!