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Lank
Level 4: 561 points
Alltime Score: 13463 points
Last Logged In: October 12th, 2012
BADGE: Senator BADGE: Winner of a Duel BADGE: INTERREGNUM TEAM: The Disorganised Guerilla War On Boredom and Normality TEAM: El Lay Zero TEAM: Group Creation Public Badge TEAM: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse TEAM: Team Shplank TEAM: San Francisco Zero TEAM: ALL THINGS MEATIFUL! TEAM: Public Library Zero TEAM: Urban Picnic Society TEAM: Whimsy BART Psychogeographical Association Rank 2: Trafficker
15 + 80 points

Work is So Strange by Lank

January 3rd, 2008 8:56 PM / Location: 37.773972,-122.4087

INSTRUCTIONS: Describe in some detail the strangest thing that happened to you at work in the past week. If you don't work, describe the strangest thing that happened to you during a leisure activity.

As of a couple of weeks ago, I have been working at Mr. S Leather in San Francisco. This is a company that sells high quality leather and latex clothing, bondage and fetish gear, and sex toys. It's the company that hosts the Folsom Street Fair. I will now provide you with a link to the company's website, but I must warn you that the website contains very graphic images intended for a mature audience, and mostly geared towards gay men.

This is the link: Mr. S

CAVEAT LECTOR (again): The following text gets pretty... well, graphic. I will attempt to be delicate, but BE WARNED.

Cage

I experience all sorts of interesting things at work on a daily basis. Since the nature of the company's business is sex, especially very kinky sex, I am quite entertained by these experiences. Mostly this consists of hearing co-workers talk about things they've tried. Like being able to fit three feet of something inside of one of their body cavities. It was also interesting to see photos of faux fecal-philic salad tossing practiced by my co-workers upon the wicker reindeer that festooned the store for the holidays. I've also been asked if I'd be willing to model products for the company's website, and I've agreed. Hasn't happened yet and I certainly won't tell you if it does.

But last Friday was the most interesting yet of what I'm sure will be a long line of ever more interesting experiences. When it was close to closing time, I walked through the store and noticed a co-worker standing next to a patron. The co-worker was holding a small box - an electrical device - and a wire extended from said box to... the patron. It went under his clothing. As I passed by, the customer was making funny little "Mmmm" sounds and comments like, "Ooh, that's very nice." I quickly realized what was happening and gave them both a smile. (If anyone needs further explanation of what was being inserted where and why, I'll be happy to further enlighten you via private messages.)

Then, a few minutes later, the Mr. S staff really showed that they go the extra mile with customer service. I was ending my shift, the store was closing, and I was preparing to leave. From the back of the building (where I work), I heard some loud grunting sounds coming from the middle of the store. These were definitely the sounds of pleasure-induced grunting. I investigated, but didn't get too close (you'll see why) and I definitely didn't take any photos. Apparently, the same gentleman was being provided with a very special happy ending (fully clothed) at the capable hands of the Mr. S staff. This was for the purpose of product demonstration, mind you. And there was a small audience of other staff members involved, who were no doubt educating themselves on the efficacy of the store's product line. The gentleman seemed to be very pleased with the demonstration. Since it appeared to be a particularly delicate part of this scene upon which to intrude, I kept a respectable distance and went on my way after having satisfied my curiosity.

Just another day at work.

I would like to have provided more photo documentation, but thought it inappropriate to post photos of the persons involved. Enjoy these photos of the store instead!

UPDATE 1/10/08:

Today I was looking for a particular item that we normally stock in the store. It is a ring made of neoprene that is worn on the male genitalia. I asked a couple of my co-workers if they had seen any. One of the gentlemen to whom I asked the question said, "Oh, these are the only two here," and proceeded to unzip his pants and present his genitalia, with two of said rings on his person. His person also featured a piercing and a tattoo. Altogether quite the package. The other co-worker commented to him, "Any chance you get to whip it out..." And as he put his junk back, he told me I'd have to remove them with my tongue if I wanted them. So I said, "I guess they're out of stock."

(In case you're feeling incensed on my behalf, please don't. It's all fun and friendly where I work!)

UPDATE 1/14/08:

Yes, it's true - I got anna one an interview and she rocked it, so now there are (at least) two SFØ players working at Mr. S!

UPDATE 1/17/08:

Today was more interesting yet. Pretty much all of the products that Mr. S sells get photographed so that folks shopping via the store's website can get a good look at what they're buying. Often these photos are taken with models, to show what the product looks like when worn or used by a real person. But there's no need to hire models when there are several staff members who are willing to pose in any number of situations to show off sex toys and fetish gear.

Today was my turn.

Before I go further, let me explain that this was completely voluntary on my part. I didn't have to. But the guys in charge of the website like to mix it up and use different people when possible, and I was asked politely if I wouldn't mind. I was also asked if there was anything I was unwilling to do. I guess there isn't much.

So today I was used as a model to demonstrate two new products. For the one, I was wearing a hood and a fancy gag and no shirt; for the latter, my junk was utilized. That's right, my junk is on the internet. Along with another guy's in the same photo. First time I've ever had a cylinder on my privates. I didn't really enjoy it. If you really want to see the pics, I might tell you where to find them on the Mr. S site. Or you can poke around on there and try to figure it out.

Work is so strange.

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Me at Work
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(no subject)
posted by Magpie on January 3rd, 2008 9:00 PM

Well you get taste testers at the grocery store so why not at your local leather and "toy" store?

In that place...
posted by Herbie Hatman on January 3rd, 2008 9:06 PM

Seems like a more odd experience at Mr. S would to have someone come in an shyly ask if you sell those sheets with the hold in the middle so that they may consummate their marriage with dignity. But certainly not your average "for here or to go experience"... well.. I guess it kind of was a "for here".

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 3rd, 2008 9:15 PM

For added fun, imagine Lank reading the text in a very proper Richard Attenburough type voice.

(no subject)
posted by help im a bear on January 3rd, 2008 9:32 PM

zounds!

(no subject)
posted by Charlie Fish on January 4th, 2008 2:05 AM

Somehow I get the feeling that I am not going to have such a strange experience as that whilst working an office job for a public transport agency.

But you never know...

(no subject)
posted by rongo rongo on January 4th, 2008 4:58 AM

I'm hoping that after you work there for a while, you'll update again. Curious as to what will still count as strange after a month or so!

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 4th, 2008 5:44 AM

Oh, bettter yet:

Alistair Cooke.

(no subject)
posted by Lank on January 4th, 2008 8:44 AM

rongo -

You'll get your updates, you bet!

(no subject)
posted by miss understanding on January 8th, 2008 8:31 AM

As soon as I read the first sentence, I knew this was going to be good. I had to sigh with envy. Delaware is not the first state when it comes to sex stores of any kind.

(no subject)
posted by Lank on January 11th, 2008 1:14 AM

Hey rongo - UPDATE!

(no subject)
posted by anna one on January 12th, 2008 9:35 PM

Vote- but mostly for getting me a job there too...

(no subject)
posted by Lank on January 12th, 2008 9:36 PM

Woo hoo! Co-working at leather daddy central!

(no subject)
posted by Burn Unit on January 12th, 2008 10:47 PM

I guess we're out of stock. Keeeeerist that's funny.

I guess!

Do you get employee discounts? That shit's expensive.

(no subject)
posted by Lank on January 13th, 2008 7:19 PM

Yes I do!

(no subject)
posted by Lank on January 17th, 2008 11:47 PM

Another update...

(no subject)
posted by Jellybean of Thark on January 18th, 2008 7:32 AM

It's 2008 and your junk is only just now getting on the internet?

(no subject)
posted by Minch on May 27th, 2008 12:53 PM

this makes my job look oh so very borring.... sigh