Revive The Oral Tradition by Burn Unit
December 1st, 2007 1:29 AMDueling Balladeers Blasting Your Ears With Rhymes So Fine Your Spine Will Unwind
We'll sell you the whole seat but you'll only need the edge
This proof is part of a taskduel with The Vixen. Please review her proof before voting on either. Duel to be decided thru most votes accrued by end of day Tuesday, December 4.
Viewers may have noticed the tardy time stamps. Both proofs experienced technical difficulties at upload, and the duelists mutually agreed to delay.
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The first draft of the first ballad (the 35W Bridge Collapse) came to me very suddenly. As I was rehearsing it and working out some of the accompaniment, I began to hear other strains, other words. I've been long looking for an excuse to pay tribute to the late Minnesota Senator Paul Wellstone and had a lot of labor ballads and songs stuck in my head (thanks to Mr. Billy Bragg). So rather than stopping with one, five ballads came flooding to me. Five ballads on Minnesota subjects. I have arranged them thematically, by a method which should quickly become apparent.
All of these will fall into the style of folk ballads, rather than the more rigidly formal literary type.
The Song of Minnesota Grain Magnate Architecture - recited
Ode to Cray Computers - recited in the lyric style
The Ballad of the 35W Bridge Collapse - sung - music & lyrics by burn unit
I Dreamed I Saw Wellstone Last Night - sung - to the tune of "...Joe Hill"
Apples of Minnesota - sung - music & lyrics by burn unit
Having run into a problem in my editing app, I am uploading just the MP3 of the Ballad of the 35W Bridge Collapse, though a video was intended to accompany it.
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Apples of Minnesota
The story begins in nineteen hundred & eight
Mr. Peter Gideon wanted special traits
The season is short and the weather so cold
Can't have ladies in pink or delicious in gold
We got rollin with seedlings from a plant called 'wealthy'
launched the Minnehaha in 19 and 20
there's nothin that's better than a perfect ripe apple
and the best ones in the world come from the U of M campus
Refrain: Apples of Minnesota
Apples of Minnesota
At least 24 kinds for eating or pies
And there's more growin all of the time!
Then in 22 came the Haralson
For Grandma's pies it is second to none
complicated and sharp but balanced with sweet
for 70 years it was our #1 treat
Prairie Spy, Beacon, and Centennial crab
State fair's good and the Zestar is Fab!
Connell Red, stripey Regent and the Sweet Sixteen
Keepsake's spicey, Chestnut crab --the Honeygold's green!
If you like it sweet and crunchy and tart
better gather round and get yourself smart
there's nothin that's better than a perfect ripe apple
and the best ones in the world come from the u of m campus.
The greatest of them all now listen to this
of course I'm talkin bout the Honeycrisp
there's nothin that's better than a perfect ripe apple
and the best ones in the world come from the u of m campus.
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I Dreamed I Saw Wellstone Last Night
I dreamed I saw Wellstone last night,
alive as you and me.
Says I "But Paul, you're five years dead"
"I never died" said he,
"I never died" said he.
"The right wing liars killed you Paul,
attacked the things you said.
"Takes more than words to kill a man"
Says Paul "And I ain't dead"
Says Paul "But I ain't dead"
And standing there as big as life
and Sheila by his side
Says both "What they can never kill
goes on to organize—
go out and organize"
From Worthington to Ely now,
in every plant and home,
Where Minnesotans organize,
it's there you find Wellstone,
it's there you find Wellstone!
I dreamed I saw Wellstone last night,
alive as you and me.
Says I "But Paul, you're five years dead"
"I never died" said he,
"I never died" said he.
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Ode to Cray Computers
I sing to you of the Y-MP
(or maybe the tale of its management team)
For there once was kept here back in the day
a business unit of the company Cray
The Cray-1 actually launched out in Los Alamos
(home of all of those sad nuclear ghosts)
Back then it was unheard of to count
Memory or flops in mega amounts
The wires were radically short for its size
(tight circuits meant processes in outrageous times)
They even had to cool it you see
with stuff you'd have heard of from Mr. Freeze!
The XMP came and then the Cray 2
("top speed for the 80s!" went the cry and the hew)
Gigaflops meant big bucks and changes galore
Cray Research, Cray Computer, Cray spinoffs and more!
Things broke up, dissolved or headed out west
(the SGI merger and Tera were... "meh")
Cray, Inc. rose like phoenix, MPP has nine lives
and Hey! there's an office still in Mendota Heights!
cray cray don't go away here in Minnesota we love you today
cray cray won't you please stay though desktops are super we want you anyway
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The Song of Minnesota Grain Magnate Architecture
From triticum in our Hyperbore
did empires rise at river's shore
Miller barons' coffers abound
and set in sandstone these twin towns
Steele, Washburn, Pillsbury and brothers LaCroix
Christian, Smith, all those millionaire boys
Hence came flours for which the world's bakers were swooning
and shortly thereafter our grain trade was booming
Lo did these mill Croesi hunger and long
for legacies in opera, movement and song.
Not just for remembrance in dollars they sought
But in their names odeums, concerthalls, musee they bought
On black-robed Belgian's namesake way
the monuments sprout, dauntless and unswayed
Pantages, State, Eurydice's love
Grain money rained down as from high up above
Later came buildings of glass and steel
Great gardens of sculpture even courts of appeal
Each block upon each, the towering lot
the rise of our city from industrial plots
Lo these aimless years later new epithets stick
'pon sterling endowments of concrete and brick
Guthrie, Schubert, The Walker, Mill City Museum
Orchestra, MIA, Weisman, even Grain Belt Premium
We sing of our library, of dance halls and their ken
architecture worth praising, from the riches of men
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The Ballad of the 35W Bridge Collapse
six pm ' the long road home
another day another dollar
but this day ends ' before we're done
when our city's heart, she falters
Six oh five there's cars on fire
our city at attention
word streaks out like bursts of light
upon on the river dancin'
rain falls bridges fall the end of life is darkness
and through it all we beg and howl and jump back from the broken edges
The race is on that sun will drop
hand over hand they clamber
Oh God there's babies/lost out there
our hearts begin to hammer
there's a woman in the water
she ain't afraid of freezin
lightning storm is comin on
but nobody is leaving
rain falls
bridges fall
the end of life is darkness
and through it all
we beg and howl
and stare at the broken edges
autumn come, the world's undone
but cars get back to travelin
oh momma didn't make it back
oh daddy ain't returnin
count is in our breath released
fingers point to left and right
we thank our stars it ain't our house
whose headcount's short tonight
rain falls bridges fall the end of life is darkness
and through it all we beg and howl and stare at the broken edges
rain falls bridges fall the end of life is comin
and through it all we make our calls, save our breath to say "I love you"
17 vote(s)
teucer
5
rongo rongo
5
Jackie H
5
Loki
5
Darkaardvark
5
anna one
5
Rao
5
The Vixen
5
Fonne Tayne
5
JTony Loves Brains
5
SNORLAX
5
Levitating Potato
5
Spidere
5
Vizzini Siciliano
5
The Revolutionary
5
Not Here No More
5
Dan |ØwO|
Favorite of:
Terms
(none yet)30 comment(s)
This proof was un-submitted - any comments before this one are from before the un-submit.
Wait.... how do you have 5 extra points but no votes?
yeah i don't get that either. presumably the Daemon or the tribunal can fix it eventually
well you actually have an official vote to account for it.
oh. me too.
Good. Night. it's mickeyfrickin late.
Now you do.
Because this gets a vote for the truly magnificent tack displayed in singing a ballad about the bridge collapse.
Yay to Peter Harmon for evening things out!
These are both incredible. Excellent work!
While I try to decide between them, I'm finding some conversion software so that I can download these and put them on my player...
I really liked both of your efforts. But I'm going to vote here because I liked the way you captured the folk feel of the ballad format throughout a broad range of topic areas. And I think apples are under appreciated.
My favourite is The Song of Minnesota Grain Magnate Architecture.
This is clearly a hard duel to call. I'm tempted to go for the completion that comes most from the heart, which on the surface of it would be Vixen's. So sell me on yours...
BU, I agree with rongo/nuclearpolymer that you've captured the folk ballad exceptionally well. Your range of topics and delivery is quite impressive (I particularly like "Apples of Minnesota"). You clearly put a huge amount of thought, effort, and heart into each ballad. The fact that you made a song for each trajectory of desire is absolutely amazing, and particularly touching during this time of strife.
...but in the end, it's "She walks along a jagged coast..." that keeps running through my head. So I think my vote has to go there. A very hard decision, though.
Charlie, You're kidding, right? sell you on it?
okay, so after some painful considerations (peep my comment on the vixen's completion if you like), i've decided to vote for this one, for a couple reasons. the first, which is probably more valid, is that i found the paul wellstone song to be really touching--i was super sad when he died so tragically, since he was one of the few prominent progressives in national politics, and someone on whom much hope had been pinned. the second, which is a bit more tenuous, is that i found the folksy style to be more in the spirit of the task, "revive the oral tradition." folk songs get passed down through generations; others are less likely to do so. i actually think it would have been better if neither of you wrote your lyrics down for us at all....
but i still stand by my claim that these are both great. i'll vote for the vixen's after tuesday.
Are you saying you're not down with the 80's ballad???
On another note, this task is inherently a "writing" task and this duel is technically a "write-off." So, not including the lyrics would completely disgregard the reason we got into this duel in the first place. If anyone has been following our rivalry, of course.
sure, i knew you guys were trying to have a write-off, though i know i also haven't followed all of its ins-and-outs...
but i suppose i was just trying to give my interpretation of what this task would ideally be, out of the greater context of BU vs. TV. sure, it's your duel, but this task is the "stuff" that makes up the actual duel. otherwise, i might as well vote based on whose other task completions, or whose comments, or whose rhetoric, i like better. and no one could vote who hadn't been following your rivalry, and the last time i checked, you don't have to be involved in the various plot moves of sf0 to play or vote. so yeah, i wasn't considering the dueling context when i made my "it should just be oral" (hmmm...that sounds a little off) comment.
i agree that this task is a writing task--but if you guys are actually reviving an oral tradition, i still think it would be best to perform the lyrics you composed/wrote, and leave it to whomever else to pass your lyrics/story on, orally, like people did before books/writing/computers were so prevalent. but seriously, i don't want to quibble on this point, and i think it's actually a minor one. it was just a thought i had while making my previous comment and wasn't intended to be overly critical at all. it's just one interpetation of a task i didn't actually do, so please just take it as no offense.
and like i said, i actually voted for BU mostly because i happened to like the paul wellstone song, since it reminded me of the emotion i felt at hearing of his death. subjective, i know, but that's how it is for this task... the other stuff i just thought of as possibly interesting comments on the nature of these tasks. and, of course, your ballad rocked too. i'm still gonna vote for it.
I was mostly being sarcastic about the 80's comment. I preformed the ballad for my friend and after a bit of silence at the end, she scratched her head and said that it reminded her of Elton John.
Which I'm totally cool with.
After much consideration, I've decided to cast my ballot here as well. (Though I look forward to Wednesday, when I have a chance to come back and vote for the Vixen's awesome completion. Performing a ballad to an awesome task *at the tasking site* is really cool and more than vote-worthy.)
In the end, The Ballad of the 35W Bridge Collapse won me over. It not only fulfills the task requirement and revives the oral tradition by preserving local history; but it stands on its own. The lyrics are beautiful, and it could easily be slipped into a certified, shrink-wrapped album, without arousing suspicions.
Unlike Jackie, I actually consider the Wellstone song a handicap, and have deducted half a vote from Burn Unit's total because of it. Don't get me wrong - I've nothing against Paul Wellstone. I just hate that damned Joe Hill song. Always have. Once again, don't misunderstand - I have only love and respect for Joe Hill the man, and for the *message* contained in the song. For that matter, I adore everyone I've ever heard sing it, everyone who's written derivatives (even the weird "Lou Hill" version), and even all the fuckers who've forced me to sing the thing myself. But the song irritates me to no end. It's a personal thing. I scramble for the fast forward button even when Paul Robeson sings it.
Fortunately, the Ode To Cray made me giggle and earns you back that half vote.
I'm voting with Vixen. Wonderful work here, but I've got a pet peeve, and that is rhymes. If words don't rhyme closely enough when they are supposed to it drives me crazy. It's a style thing, a choice, I know. Hell, it even goes along with the folk ballad in general, and yet it still makes me want to stick my knitting needles through my eardrums I'm so touchy about rhyme scheme perfection that I'm having difficulty listening to these rhymes (I have a hard time with hymns that rhyme blood with good or food, a really hard time (to the point I often loudly force the rhyme - "bluhd" and "fuhd") so, like I said, I'm kind of touchy), as much as I appreciate the work and talent that went int making these songs (and passion, which is doubly obvious).
Vixen had fewer rhymes that bothered me, so my vote goes to her.
Edited to clarify.
Bu -
You get my vote on Wednesday. Supoib.
It just occurred to me that this looks like the first five songs on Sufjan Steven's new Minnesota album.
and I quit!
you happy? see? QnUoItT. I'm a worthless tripe stew and a side of hashed browns. Quitty quitter quittington went to bed with his stockings on.
Don't duel, kids, the end is never pretty, and this always happens to someone.
Dude, seriously. I had no idea our duel would turn out this way. When I secretly caught a glimpse of your proof before you re-submitted it, I thought "Holy shit ass mutherfucker, I've been SERVED!"
I guess in the eyes of those who happened to vote, a cheesy 80's ballad with a horrible performance wins out over a ton of well written folksy ballads. Who knew...
You are still getting that vote I originally gave you. Can we join sides now?
Jtony: your opinion on rhyme scheme is completely valid however, I encourage you to explore the beauty of slant rhyme and how it can save your ass when your can't find any other word that rhymes with orange. Doorhenge?
Dearest Vixy, per swm's comments, quitting is tradition.
yes!!!!!! i see henry is being an excellent 'second' again.
doorhenge rhymes with orange for the win.
SF0: fixing lacunae in the language since 2005.
Oh my god. Doorhenge does rhyme with orange!
Sam and I are pleased and mystified.
Dude (Ian) it's all about the creativity of us SFzer0'ers.
Sf0: solving the poetic mysteries of life since 2005.
Maybe you can sing a mystical montage about the cliffs of insanity! Inconceivable! Or perhaps a blustering bolero about the dangers of the fire swamp!
dude it's not supposed to work like that! don't go votin on my stuff first. this is like one of those duels where the guy fires in the air!
no, this doesn't mean you lose, imho.
see, i got tech troubles too (okay i'm only 4 mins late but whatevs)
I can unsubmit, your vote goes away, and we wait 15.