i liked the look of this task right away. when i first read it, i imagined a lot of random tactile experiences (putting my face into a bowl of milk popped into my head for some reason) but after watching burnunit's intimate video, i felt like the term "touch" implied contact with something living and breathing and cognizant. and what better flesh than your own for exploring without awkwardness?

i was going to take care of all this in the shower, where i could see all the flesh laid out in front of me, but as i started undressing, i noticed my oophorectomy scar. i got this rather dramatic mark when i was 18 and had to have an ovary (and the bocce ball-sized thing living on it) removed.

it was sort of a strange situation; i had gone into planned parenthood for my annual exam (necessary to obtain my free teenage birth-control pills) and was told i was pregnant; but two negative pregnancy tests later the doctor was baffled. i was sent for an ultrasound which revealed that the fetus-sized thing the doctor had felt was not a fetus at all, but some undetermined, unwelcome, and uncommonly large mass that would have to be removed before it started crushing internal organs.

i was scheduled for surgery the following day. as they hastily shaved me and started preparing me for anesthesia, the doctor explained to me that they hadn't the slightest what was going on in there, and that i should be prepared for the possibility that i might wake up without a reproductive system. then they put me under.

fortunately, i woke up with everything but one ovary in tact, and a lot of nice flowers and balloons around to cheer me up; but i also woke up with a incision bigger than a c-section across my abdomen. the two months it took to heal were not expedited by the complications (read: grand mal seizures) resulting from the pain medication they gave me after surgery which caused me to pop most of my staples.

the long and short? the scar was ugly. and it was numb. months later, years later, to this day. this part of my body, ironically so close to the most nerve-ending rich area there is, goes without any feeling all, and i consider it the least sexual part on my entire body. so i abandoned the shower idea and decided to touch it for a while. here is the proof: