When GYØ was planning the '09 UKØ gathering, a mysterious new player by the name of The Pilgrim signed up. This was, of course, me, planted there to keep an eye on the messages passed between the gathering participants. Because, of course, it wouldn't be much of a pilgrimage unless the destination had no fucking clue that the pilgrim was coming at all. I was planning to visit KwaK in Ghana, and when I heard about this, I decided to sneak up, in an overland fashion, on GYØ.

So, I give you, instructions on how to complete your own GYØ Pilgrimage!

The Route:








This will take you 161 days.

1

Fly to New York City, where you will find the Flag of Black America

This is your stepping off point.

2

Next, visit the United Nations

where you need to seek out the woven rug portrait of Boutros Boutros-Ghali

which will bless the plane flight that you soon will be on.

3

Take the Subway

to Brooklyn, where you need to bring the Sacred Bathrobe (I hope you brought the Sacred Bathrobe) to Madame Sharona

who will support you with a Rooseveltian place to crash in Park Slope.

4

Fly to Ghana to meet up with Kristina with a K

who will introduce you to West Africa and be your guide.

5

Now, this is important. Have KwaK wash your clothes

as doing so will make them extra holy for the time to come. Make sure she washes your towel too, 'cause otherwise it'll get stinky.

6

Meet up with the King of the Dagbanis

who will give you your first kola nut. These will be important later.

7

Stand in the presence of the Sword of the Ashantes

It's a very holy relic that will make sure you will travel through Africa without getting robbed. Yes, it's in the back garden of a hospital.

8

After having learned all you can from KwaK, move on through Togo to Benin, where you need to find the king-who-has-become-a-tree

Leave an offering.

9

Wash away your memories, wash away your sins, at the Door of No Return

10

Go to Abomey and help La Lutta collect grasshoppers

for Vodou charms. This will impress him, and convince him to create a charm for you to protect you while traveling.

11

Pass through northern Benin and Burkina Faso to get to Niger. Take the long ride to Agadez and climb the minaret

for spiritual reflection.

12

Trek back to Kouré to get audience with some of the 150 last remaining giraffes of West Africa

13

Make your way to Timbuktu and meet up with the Bada Boom Gang.

14

Trek through Dogon Country, avoiding the long drops down the cliffs

and attend the funeral of a Hunter

15

Learn N'Ko in Bamako

16

Bus from Bamako to Nouakchott, accompanied by a plethora of Kola Nuts

17

Cross the Mauritanian / Western Saharan border through the no-mans-land

avoiding the landmines

18

Cross through Western Sahara and Morocco to Tangier, where you then cross to Europe at Algercias by boat. From there, take the train immediately to Salamanca, where you will surprise Santa Maria (who is unaware of not only your intent to visit, but your presence in this hemisphere. Much like the eventual goal of the Pilgrimage).

While there, be sure to learn the ins and outs of the local customs

19

Travel through León to Oviedo, where you should pray to the statue of Woody Allen

20

Obtain the Shell from a pilgrim finishing her journey along the Way of St. James

21

Travel through Braga and Porto in Portugal to Coimbra, where you should pray at the Shrine of Football

Find this bear (why? I don't know why!)

And meet the Two Anas,

who will escort you back to Porto to pray to Saint John for intercession.

22

Drink the Sacred Concoction of Saint John, prepared by Rodrigo, Brother of Ana

and obtain the blessing of Saint John, in the traditional fashion

23

Mark your territory in Lisbon

24

Find this nightclub in Évora

and pass on to Faro, then camp on an island near Tavira.

25

Go to Seville, where you can find this shrine

inside this bar

Drink the Sangre de Cristo. Trust me, it's good for you.

26

Travel through Córdoba, Granada, and Madrid to Basque Country, where you need to drink at a separatist bar

27

Have Basque singers praise your glory for getting this far.

28

Go to Santander to catch the boat to Plymouth (where you must distract yourself from the anti-Siren's call of the 'entertainment')
Arrive at the Hoe

28

Take the train to Great Yarmouth. Surprise GYØ.


Deliver Spanish Soil to GYØ Ben as per Minch's instructions.

Have GYØ Adam shatter the Shell


Woo! You're holy now!