My favorite of the resulting drawings

Strangely, I think one of the reasons I like this is that it looks kind of artistic. Which is ironic, because that means my visual aesthetic is probably strongly shaped by the art I've seen in museums...which is the same stereotypical male-artist female-model viewer-as-voyeurer dynamic that irritates me.

First model

I started with my husband, who is at least used to me seeing him naked. Mostly he thought it was flattering, sweet, and kind of fun to be used as a model. He thought it was a little harder than expected to stand in a position for five minutes at a stretch. He wouldn't be as motivated to go out of his way to pose for anyone else, but if asked by a friend, male or female, he'd be willing to help out. He did two different standing up poses of five minutes each, and one laying pose for ten minutes. What I noticed is that while drawing, I didn't really perceive of him as himself, or even really a person. I was just looking at a series of lines, dark and light parts, and relative positions and angles. I wasn't so much objectifying him as abstracting him. Possibly this is because I have never done any figure drawing before, so I haven't developed the knack of seeing the details at the same time as seeing the whole picture.

Second model

My next volunteer was a heterosexual female friend of mine. We've known each other for years; I was in her wedding. But I do not remember ever hanging out together unclothed before. She was interested in doing this as an experience to reduce unnecessary self-consciousness. I asked whether it would be more comfortable if we were both nude, so that the situation would be more egalitarian, or if that would make it weirder. She decided that it would seem more strange to have the artist be unclothed. We did a mix of poses with the model looking at or away from the artist, standing, sitting, and laying. Showing her the drawings, she thought that the eyebrows and knees looked most like her. She also noted that she had no idea what she looked like from the back, since that's not an angle that she views in the mirror at all. After a few initial moments of slightly awkward how-are-we-going-to-do-this in the beginning, it seemed totally normal. Mostly she thought the experience was like some on-stage theater performances where the actors need to freeze in a position and distract themselves mentally by making lists or singing songs in their head, in order to not fidget or look around. She was conscious of trying to keep her facial expression constant (though for the level of detail in these sketches, that wasn't too critical). We talked about how one of the nice things about being older was being less self-conscious and embarrassed, compared to being in middle school or high school, and always feeling like you look funny.

Third model

My third volunteer was my gay ex-boyfriend, who was interested in doing this because he was somewhat flattered to be looked at and admired, and also because he's almost always willing to pitch in to help with my odd projects. I stretched the pose times a bit, so the standing and sitting poses were probably closer to ten minutes as well, along with the laying down pose. I did this session right after the last one, and it was tiring to concentrate so much. I was having particular trouble getting any likeness of his facial features - there was a certain Ronald Reagan or Abraham Lincoln look to one of them. I think I was possibly more embarrassed at showing him the sketches as he was to pose naked. He said that these days, he's pretty confident in his appearance and attractiveness, and so would probably be willing to pose for any friend or even an artist he didn't know, particularly if it was a cute guy, if they asked nicely. He had his boyfriend leave the apartment while we were doing this because he thought it would feel a little embarrassing to be watched by someone who wasn't actually doing the drawing. We've known each other for over twenty years at this point, and certain parts of those years ranged from somewhat to completely excruciatingly embarrassing, so this experience didn't rate very high on the awkward-meter at all. One thing we discussed was sample size, and how it would be great if I could get a range of gender and sexual orientation in my participants. We agreed that it should involve more than three but probably not more than seven people (diminishing returns).

Fourth model

Next, I had a surprise when a male friend, whom I've never been naked with before, agreed to participate because the idea of posing was uncomfortable enough that he wanted to take on the challenge. Being a particularly brave individual, he also volunteered to reverse roles and be the artist, even though he isn't into drawing at all and hasn't sketched since art class as a kid. (One surprise I found was that for many people, it is less embarrassing to pose nude than to try and draw when you feel like you're not good at it.) As the model, he found that it was a bit awkward for a few minutes, but then quickly became pretty normal. We worked together to pick out some athletic poses, with a frisbee in place of the classical discus. This meant that his short poses were probably more physically challenging than most of the others, and he was surprised at how hard it was to hold the positions. When we switched roles, I tried to pick pretty relaxed poses, but also had shaking muscles by the end. We talked about self-consciousness, and the dilemma that heterosexual men face when they want to look at a woman but not act creepy, and how there is a social asymmetry that plays out in these situations. (For example, if a man is naked in public, there is often a perception that he is being threatening. If a woman is naked in public, that is not the usual interpretation.) I was impressed that although he doesn't draw, he was able to make sketches that were just fine. I was slightly amused at what seemed to be an exaggeration of my secondary sexual characteristics. Apparently, some things make more of an impression on heterosexual men, and that causes a bit of an optical illusion.

Fifth model

My fifth model was another heterosexual male friend and former lover, who happened to be suffering from a head cold at our appointed drawing time. We decided to take it easy with just a single sitting pose for the day. Unlike all my previous models, this friend took me up on the offer to make the situation egalitarian, with us both naked during the drawing process. We talked about getting older and gaining weight, and working exercise and healthy eating into our normal routines. It was quite comfortable, and after the drawing, we also talked about our gratitude, respect, and appreciation for having each other as friends. We may do another drawing session when he's more up for standing.

Sixth model

Another surprise was my sixth model, a female friend, who responded after I put out a call to try getting more female representation. She wanted to participate because the idea was slightly alarming and uncomfortable, and she wanted to conquer the self-conscious feelings. I don't think I've ever seen her undressed before. Actually, I don't even think we have ever done something together, just the two of us, so I felt honored that she'd sign up for this activity. One thing we talked about was how even relatively nice people sometimes make really unkind remarks about how disgusting fat people are. Someone who would never tell an overweight friend that they look bad might still make an off-hand comment about having to wash their eyes out with bleach after seeing a picture of a fat person in a revealing outfit. But these kinds of persistent jokes are definitely sending the message that fat is something scorn-worthy, so if that's not the message we want to convey, maybe we need to stop making these kinds of jokes. Also, we talked about how in some ways, it's a bit of a relief reaching 40, because you aren't under as much pressure to be "hot". We started with a sort of classic woman-doing-her-hair pose, then did one that reflected more the life of the mind (a book reading position), both with the model not looking at the artist. Then we wrapped up with a direct look pose, which was slightly more challenging. I think most of my models have agreed that it's slightly odd to be looking at someone who is looking intently at you, and wondering exactly what they are looking at.

Seventh model

Next up was another old friend. We actually dated, but since this occurred over 20 year ago, it's ancient history. We were in each other's weddings, and have been hanging out and occasionally vacationing together (along with our spouses), so have maintained a close friendship. He's often game for helping out with my occasionally oddball projects, and I appreciated his participation. He picked an athletic pose with a sword (cue phallic jokes here), and then a sort of mock-coy over the shoulder pose. Although he doesn't normally do any drawing himself, he was willing to try being the artist too. I went with a lying down pose, because I figured it would be the easiest to hold. His approach to drawing was fairly different. While I usually pick a place to stand and then remain rooted there, to avoid shifting the perspective around, he went with a more cubist approach, moving around to draw different segments from different vantage points. As with the previous models, by the time we were done, hanging around naked felt pretty much normal and comfortable.

Turning the tables

Models four and seven took me up on the offer to reverse roles. Personally, I thought it was easier to be the model than the artist, because it doesn't require much concentration. In the artist role, my friends were surprised by how difficult it is to draw and talk at the same time. One thing I noticed is that compared to my friends who don't draw regularly, I press a lot harder with the pencil.