(EDIT by Peter Harmon): It occurs to me that I should warn you before we begin that the following contains the sort of subject matter which is usually recommended as being for mature audiences only despite the fact that the immature ones will enjoy it so much more.

QP:

With myself being a rather prominent public figure I unfortunately have no secrets. But my good friend and collaborator Peter Harmon is quite the recluse and after several hours of searching through the underbrush I found trying to do something unspeakable with a toothbrush. From here I proceeded to explain to him my problem of lacking a secret pleasure. He quickly took me aside and into a dark room with a single light. "Watch and be mystified!"

PH:

Oh, come on, stop implying it was something dirty. There is absolutely nothing unspeakable about a man wanting a little bit of privacy so he can fulfill his dental hygiene needs.

That said, I'm not the public figure Quincy likes to imagine himself to be, but I'm not particularly secretive either. Nonetheless, once upon a time I was a high-school student surrounded by other high-school students for four weeks in a gender-segregated setting with no privacy. Some people found very unusual outlets for their libido, and eventually I found myself being taught a new skill.

I find it mildly embarrassing that I got to be good at it, so I rarely discuss it - in fact, I don't think anyone around here was aware before I talked about maybe doing it for this task. It isn't much of a pleasure, but of the things that are mildly pleasurable it's certainly one of the most secret.

I've not done this in over three years, and the learning curve on it is a bit harsh. It took me a few tries to relearn how to properly form the simplest (but hardest) of the hand-shapes involved, and how to get the angle right with respect to the light, but, well, the rest is history.

QP:

Overall I was fascinated by this secret pleasure of Peter and was frustrated with my slow progress. It seems that I will have to continue my practices with this new not so secret passion.

PH:

To be fair, Quincy was hampered by the fact that when he took his turn trying it his hands were already tired.